Acting upon fantasies to involve a 3rd person in your sex life?

[Plan 9 from OS]

...or more than 3? Why would you do it?

 

I've been reading through a older threads in different sections on the site. I've seen a few threads where someone proposes that they indulge in a fantasy about having a threesome or seeing your spouse have sex with one or more partners. When you read these threads, you can't help but think that you are watching a major accident happening in slow motion and that you are powerless to stop it.

 

Has any married couple on here have a fantasy about a threesome or some other situation(s) where people from outside your marriage were brought into your bedroom? For me, I've never had these fantasies and would never want to indulge in them. Even if I did, I believe the risk would be too great for your partner being changed by the experience for the worse. I was tempted to put this in the sexuality section, but I am primarily interested in how these fantasies affected marriages if ever acted upon. I realize that there may be an exception for those committed to an open marriage or are swingers. I don't agree with the practices, but it seems like most are able to put up some type of boundaries that can better handle situations like the ones I wrote in the OP.

[Just4Fun28s]

Having someone else come into your physical relationship is just about fun, excitement, arousal, and TRUST. You both have to firmly know you can mentally handle the situation. If you go into it for your spouse you will probably come out of the situation damaged. However, if you go in to it excited and wanting to be involved in a threesome situation your world could change. My high school sweetheart and I have been together solid for 10 years. I had slept with one other person before him but he has only been with me. We do have a really rare relationship, we are normal in every way but also extremely open with each other..not swingers, not something we do all the time..we have been with another women twice. We are very open and honest with each other. If we think someone has a crush on us at work or there is an attractive women about to walk by we will make a comment to each other. Why not? I know who he loves and I am the one he comes home to..I know for a fact he has never cheated on me. Actually he has a free pass to have a one night stand (protected.) But there are rules-most importantly they can not be anyone in our lives that we see on a regular basis, obviously meaning co-workers, the barista at the coffee shop etc. Why? Because if you do see them regularly you can start building an emotional connection. That is what would hurt me the most. Another rule is that he has to tell me about it. My husband is my best friend. I know he has only had sex with one person-me! I want to know what it was like to sleep with someone else at 28 yrs old. Everyone views sex differently and sex norms have changed drastically over the course of human existence. I see sex as a physical act that makes each other feel good physically and mentally... we only feel good emotionally having sex with each other and want to keep it that way. Our two experiences have made our sex life incredibly better..it is hot hot hot now! We had a decent sex life before but it was mostly him initiating. Now I am initiating all the time and my husband feels like he is the luckiest man alive and that makes me feel amazing! I didn't choose to have a threesome just for him. I had my college day experiences..that he knows all about and so it was something we talked about for a lot of years until we were a little older, more secure with ourselves, and our relationship, that we actually made it happen. I have no regrets and look forward to when we can experience that again.

 

My husband isn't an alpha male that thinks he can take care of two women at once. We are there to take care of each other and have some fun, in fact the first time my husband and I had this experience we were just focused on her and she was focused on me. We didn't think about it or plan it..it just happened and it was a very sensual experience that we still feel the after affects from.

 

@Ducksoup-have you had an experience like this? I would disagree with most of your generalizations about why is happens. I think people do this for many different reasons but you would be surprised how many happy, secure couples bring someone else into the mix to spice things up. Yes, it’s true I do not find anything sexy about two men and one woman. Thankfully my husband (of course) shares the same opinion so it’s not an issue…But this should be no surprise, woman are cheered on to make out and touch each other while it is still awkward to see two men being affectionate. This experience didn’t come about because my husband couldn’t satisfy me and I was looking elsewhere.. It has been a fantasy of his probably since he knew about sex. I wanted to fulfill that fantasy for my husband when the opportunity presented itself, especially since we have been together 10 years, we’re 28, and have been 100% faithful to each other the entire time. I was curious and excited but certainly not seeking to be with another women, but I also didn't mind. Any nerves I had about it would be gone once we broke the ice and a little nerves were greatly outweighed by my desire to blow my husband's mind with my eagerness to participate.

 

We have a lot of fun together but this by far was the most exhilarating experience we have ever shared and brought us even closer that we thought possible.