Im the other woman...why is he acting crazy?

[Ms. Z]

Yes, Im the other woman. It took a lot of thought before I agreed to involve myself with this situation and now I think I may have gotten involved with someone who doesn't have all of his marbles. I told myself that I would have to play by the rules and not get caught up that's what I've done to this very day. But he's starting to act a little strange. Here's my story.

 

I met this really sweet man two years ago and I was instantly attracted. I asked him if he had a girlfriend he said no. We dated for about 6 months or so, got really close and suddenly he disappered. I was disappointed ,but other than really liking him, there was no intimacy involved, so there were no major emotional attachments. I moved on. About two weeks later I ran into some girls that I had met through him One of them "casually" mentioned that he moved in with his girlfriend but wanted to know if I was still "taken care of." He's a professional athlete. First, Im a grown woman, I take care of myself and had never accepted nor asked for a dime from him. I played it cool though and told them I had no idea that he had a girlfriend but that we weren't talking anymore anyway. Of course, I called him and gave him piece of my mind. He apologized saying that they had reconciled and that's why he stopped calling. I was through.

 

About a month and a half later, I ran into him, spoke politely and he said that he had missed me and wanted to pick up again. He said that he felt like him and his girlfrind had grown apart, he couldn't talk to her like he could me and he didn't know what to do and what did I think about "us" By this time I was involved, although not committed. I wasn't happy either. he said if I respected his situation, he would respect mine and that our situations were perfect. I thought about it hard. I really had missed him. Never felt that close to anyone so fast. Didn't know what to do.

 

So, here we are two years later, still involved. Overall, the realtionship has been great. No drama, no questions, no expectations, no arguments. He comes and goes as he pleases and so do I. I have maintained "friends" other than him and Im quites sure if he's cheating on his girlfriend with me, then there are other women as well. But, that's not my concern. He had started to get somewhat sloppy and a little arrogant just assuming I was here when he wanted me. I nipped that in the bud real fast. Other woman or not, I don't tolerate inconsistancy or disrespect. I told him to either shape up or ship out. For the first time in two years I told him that I cared about him, but that could easily change. I hadn't heard from him for two weeks after that conversation so I figured he was gone. He had not called me and I had not called him either. I was turned off to be honest. Then he calls and said he understood everything I was saying and I was right. Now he's acting strange. He called the other day and asked if he could come by. He was already in the parking lot! I was out with some girlfriends the another night, he called, said he was outside of the club, he was coming in and that he was with some friends. When he came in, he was by himself...we sat and talked and just making conversation like I had many times before (with no problems) asked what he had been doing all night. He looked at me as if he wanted to kill me. like how dare I ask him where he was. It was innocent. The look in his eyes scared me. I didn't understand because HE called ME. I didn't call him. I was was doing my own thing.

 

Here is when I started getting nervous. The other night I was out with some girlfriends, and bumped into a 'friend" we talked for a while. That night I get a message on my phone saying " I saw you at the club" It was him. The next day I replied, why didn't he speak. He said I looked" busy". I wasn't busy all night. So was he just sitting there watching me or what? Im starting to think he makes plans with me just occupy my time and then won't follow thgrough just so I won't be able to make other plans. Did I make a mistake telling him finally that I cared about him? Does he sound crazy or is it just me? Or is he just being the typical territorial man who wants to have his cake and eat it too? He knows he's not the only one. The only one I'm intimate with, yes, but not the only one? Why is he suddenly trying to cahnge the rules? Im concerned that he may have not used protection during an intimate moment. I think he tricked me. Id he trying to trap me or what? He knows how I feel about. What's going on? should I leave him alone?

[miz_barby]

How could he have "tricked" you into thinking he used protection? OMG can't you FEEL the difference??

 

Okay now on to the "weird" part...yes he sounds a little odd like maybe he is a little

"obessive" but expects you not to question him. I would be careful when you go out, make sure he's not following you. Looked like he wanted to "kill" you because you asked him where he was?

 

I say if you feel weird about him cut ties, I wouldn't be with him if I wasn't comfortable with him. It is sad that neither of you think about what you're doing to the other people involved but that's not for me to judge!

 

Just be careful and stay safe.

[fanou22]

From what you are saying, I would definitely stay away from him and severe all ties.

 

Believe me when I tell you, you don't want to live the "being stalked" life.