I want to watch my wife have sex with other men.

[tiki]

Originally posted by miamiman

Im not advocating everybody have the same experience as me, just sharing my experience.

 

Sure....and that's why you said this....

 

"And to the women out there who dont enjoy being a little naughty for your husband, I think you are missing out, denying yourself and your mate some yummy satisfaction. Whether or not you realize it, you are at risk of losing your husband (at least temporarily) to someone who will indulge his sexual fantasies."

 

You contradict yourself, don't you? Make up your mind and then come back and stand your ground without being wishy-washy. Geez.

[hotgurl]

miamiman

In response to your question my bf and I talk about all our fantasys and we have acted out all but two one I am not into and the other he is not into. I think it is healthy to share fantasies and try them but some things people are really against some things like anal sex for instance or inviting another person into the bedroom. And granted if your partner is not into one of your fantasies then you are missing out on fullfilling that particular fantasy but marraige is also about having the respect and caring for your partner to sometimes let it go if they're not into it.

[Moose]

Moose, I find it interesting that you answered his post, but didnt answer any of his questions!

 

Of course I answered his question. The question was, wouldn't most women like to have this kind of arrangement. I of course answered no.

 

Like I've said before, you all can go do whatever you believe is right, I'll do whatever it is I believe is right. There is nothing wrong with that, I don't agree, and I may feel bad for you and your lack of respect for your wife, and for the consequences I believe you will suffer, but that's not out here for you to change your mind. We will all see in the end now won't we?

[Iwould]

Interesting subject, no?! And quite an active thread as well.

 

tikibrandy, as I see it, having an orgy in a sex club and "being a little naughty for your husband" are not the same thing. I think there was an anecdote there about the orgy adventure and later advice about indulging whatever fantasies you and your mate agree on, am i right?

 

In some of the other forums on this site, there are women decrying their men watching porn and being aroused. I wonder, what are they offended by? I mean, in general, are the women offended by the acts that arouse their men, or the fact that they are aroused by other women?

 

It sound to me like ShareHer and miamiman are saying that they prefer to be aroused by acts with their wives rather than by some stranger on film, video or dvd. I'm sorry, but I just dont see that as a bad thing.

 

ShareHer, are you still reading this forum? Do you watch porn much, or does the arousal that you get from your wifes indulging your fantasies suffice? Just curious.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by Iwould

ShareHer, are you still reading this forum?

 

I'm back, now.

 

Do you watch porn much, or does the arousal that you get from your wifes indulging your fantasies suffice? Just curious.

 

I can't say I watch porn much. Just watching any two people have sex, etc doesn't do it for me. It all depends on the scenario. Sometimes watching something that's not supposed to happen can be exciting to me. During a strip poker game one time, I watched my wife perform oral on a buddy of mine, only for about 10 seconds ... kind of like a "I dare you" kind of thing. The memory of watching her do that stuck with me and excited me to no end for months afterwards.

[supermom]

During a strip poker game one time, I watched my wife perform oral on a buddy of mine, only for about 10 seconds ... kind of like a "I dare you" kind of thing. The memory of watching her do that stuck with me and excited me to no end for months afterwards.

 

Was the dare from you?

 

Also, don't you think it is kind of like pimping your wife? Do you see her as a whore?

 

What would you do if she fell in love with one of the guys she does for you? Wouldn't you think that you were the open door for them?

 

Have you ever once cheated on her? If so, how did she take it?

 

IMO if my H was wanting the same things as you, I'd probably leave, because I would feel like he was seeing me as a good for nothing whore, so wtf do you see her as?

 

Is her putang her best quality to you? If not, what is?

 

I just don't understand

[sinner]

ShareHer, don't you think you'd find a much more sympathetic reception at a more "swinging" web site. LoveShack's demographic is overwhelmingly female, and moderate to boot, so your swinging life style posts are going to get slammed.

 

Why are you posting, here? Is it only to elicit a reaction? I mean what can one say when you tell us your wife went down on some guy in the middle of a poker game? I suspect you're just trying to arouse some ire. Perhaps make fun of all the squares...

[shortbus74]

I pose a question to everyone here......a little off the topic but somewhat on it at the same time.....................

 

If you have two consenting adults with the same sexual desires would you still consider it "cheating" or looking at the female like a "slut" or is the male "pimping" out his woman?

 

Please remember that everyone here has different sexual fantasies.... you may not care for it but at least respect it....

[sinner]

Swinging is fine so long as children or small animals are not involved in the sexual games. Swinging has a long pedigree in America. However, it's not everyone's cup of tea.

 

I suspect ShareHer is trolling on LoveShack for sexual partners. I view his posts as a form of personal ads. I wish him luck.

 

However, when you push a swinger agenda on LoveShack you gotta expect some heat.Plus ShareHer, unlike some of our more emotionally vulnerable posters, can handle himself.

[miamiman]

Originally posted by hotgurl

miamiman

... And granted if your partner is not into one of your fantasies then you are missing out on fullfilling that particular fantasy but marraige is also about having the respect and caring for your partner to sometimes let it go if they're not into it.

 

Very true and deserves repeating.

 

If she (or he) isnt into it, you're asking for trouble by pushing it.

 

Originally posted by Moose

Of course I answered his question. The question was, wouldn't most women like to have this kind of arrangement. I of course answered no.

 

No, I meant the questions posed by Iwould. I would be interested in hearing what you and your spouse do with your fantasies, if you can express them to one another. You seem to be saying that expressing is wrong and supressing is right which gives the impression you have a very suppressive relationship. I dont think that can work for too long, and I dont think its healthy.

 

Originally posted by Iwould

 

tikibrandy, as I see it, having an orgy in a sex club and "being a little naughty for your husband" are not the same thing. I think there was an anecdote there about the orgy adventure and later advice about indulging whatever fantasies you and your mate agree on, am i right?

 

Couldnt have said it better myself!

 

Originally posted by Iwould

In some of the other forums on this site, there are women decrying their men watching porn and being aroused. I wonder, what are they offended by? I mean, in general, are the women offended by the acts that arouse their men, or the fact that they are aroused by other women?

 

Good questions. Good food for thought. Maybe someone will try to answer.

 

Originally posted by Iwould

It sound to me like ShareHer and miamiman are saying that they prefer to be aroused by acts with their wives rather than by some stranger on film, video or dvd. I'm sorry, but I just dont see that as a bad thing.

 

ShareHer, are you still reading this forum? Do you watch porn much, or does the arousal that you get from your wifes indulging your fantasies suffice? Just curious.

 

I have watched porn, WITH my wife, in fact before we were married. I find certain types erotic, as does she. We used to watch it and talk about what we liked, thought was kinky, thought was TOO kinky, would never do, etc.

 

Originally posted by ShareHer

 

I can't say I watch porn much. Just watching any two people have sex, etc doesn't do it for me. It all depends on the scenario. Sometimes watching something that's not supposed to happen can be exciting to me. During a strip poker game one time, I watched my wife perform oral on a buddy of mine, only for about 10 seconds ... kind of like a "I dare you" kind of thing. The memory of watching her do that stuck with me and excited me to no end for months afterwards.

 

Suddenly it doesnt seem so much as if she isnt interested at all, she just wants it to be "the right time". She has to be interested, intrigued, or dared to enjoy it, and she has to enjoy it to do it.

 

Originally posted by supermom

Also, don't you think it is kind of like pimping your wife?

 

Do you see her as a whore?

 

Sorta, but then thats what turns me on! Shes my porn star, and all my favorite fantasies are about her. It should be clear from the popuarity of porn and "the worlds oldest profession" that men generally have no problem being turned on by a whore. In case you'd never heard this before, we men have been known to want our wives to be a the ultimate lady in the public, but we surely want the same woman to be our steamy, smoldering whore in bed!

 

My own experience suggests that there are plenty of women who like the kind of dirty talk in bed that indicates their man loves their slutty, vixxen side as well. You may find this hard to belive, but alot of you women even like being called a whore under the right circumnstances!

 

Originally posted by supermom

What would you do if she fell in love with one of the guys she does for you? Wouldn't you think that you were the open door for them?

 

Well, IMO that would mean she wasnt yours to begin with. Im sure you're familiar with the old "if you love something, set it free" cliche. And in my case, it would also be pretty shallow of her to "fall in love" with someone shes only met once. Only one time we included someone we knew, a girlfriend of hers, and there was a lot of worry on her part that I would like the other woman more or try to keep seeing her behind my wifes back. It took a while to calm her fears, but before that and since then, the other participants have always been strangers or people we just met and for the most part will never see again.

 

Only once have I encountered a person again, in a crowded elevator on the way to a business meeting. A self proclaimed bi-curious woman we had met and included in a threesome one night had both of us amazed with her oral skills. I recognized her slightly behind me and across the elevator trying to "place" my familiar face. As she passed me on the way off the elevator with her husband, I saw her flash me a fleeting coy little smile. Of course, the memory of that adventure got me super aroused later that night when I got home. While I'll admit that there was a certain thrill to the feeling of sharing an erotic little secret affair, I'd hardly think it could lead to any real love like I have with my wife.

 

 

Originally posted by supermom

Have you ever once cheated on her? If so, how did she take it?

 

Yes, before we were married. She took it very hard. We had a HUGE argument.

Then she wanted to know EVERY detail.

Then we had some unbelievable, highly emotionally charged sex.

Then we went to one of these clubs and she got her sweet revenge! (Another story for another time)

 

Obviously we got over it and ended up happily married. Made us stronger in the end, I thnk.

 

Originally posted by supermom

IMO if my H was wanting the same things as you, I'd probably leave, because I would feel like he was seeing me as a good for nothing whore, so wtf do you see her as?

 

I'll bet he'd never tell you, even if he does want the same things as me for the very reason he knows you'd react like that. And to answer your question, I see my wife as a wonderfully vibrant person, an incredible cook, a dedicated mom and wife, a thoughtful intellect, and an amazingly hot sexy lover.

 

Originally posted by supermom

Is her putang her best quality to you? If not, what is?

 

ABSOLUTELY. without a doubt. The hands down best.

 

Originally posted by supermom

I just don't understand

 

You can be forgiven for that!

[LoveMyWoman]

Originally posted by sinner

ShareHer, don't you think you'd find a much more sympathetic reception at a more "swinging" web site. LoveShack's demographic is overwhelmingly female, and moderate to boot, so your swinging life style posts are going to get slammed.

 

Why are you posting, here? Is it only to elicit a reaction? I mean what can one say when you tell us your wife went down on some guy in the middle of a poker game? I suspect you're just trying to arouse some ire. Perhaps make fun of all the squares...

 

I can't speak for the original poster, but theres no need to in order to reply to this:

 

I just looked, and in the WHOLE loveshack.org site, this is the ONLY topic I've seen with a 5 star rating. I just tried to vote on rating this thread and it appears that rating is reserved for MEMBERS ONLY. Just look at it, its one of the most active threads on the entire site, so if the objective was "to elicit a reaction", it damn sure worked. Can't argue that.

 

Oh, and another thing, traffic and repeat visitors is GOOD for a site like this, so I think maybe the moderator would be a better judge of what's appropriate here or not.

 

Originally posted by sinner

I suspect ShareHer is trolling on LoveShack for sexual partners. I view his posts as a form of personal ads. I wish him luck.

 

I strongly suspect that if ShareHer was looking for sexual partners, he would have registered or in some other way provided contact info.

[Iwould]

Originally posted by LoveMyWoman

I strongly suspect that if ShareHer was looking for sexual partners, he would have registered or in some other way provided contact info.

 

Although he hadnt registered when this thread started, I see that he has registered. So I guess its a good question. Are you trolling for partners ShareHer?

[Moose]

To answer the question that was asked of me: What my wife and I do with our fantasy is our business, we share them together and we consider them to be a sacred thing that should ONLY be shared between the two of us, no other. They are not suppressed like you might believe and we definitely don't live a suppressed life. We enjoy life to the fullest, even more so than most people ever do. We are not consumed with the way the world lives, or the pressure bestowed upon us by society's idea of how to live, but we are concerned for those who are ignorant in the ways and knowledge of God.

 

Put quite simply, I am powerless over how you decide to live your life, these thing must come to pass to fulfill prophecy, the bible tells us that the world will be like in the days of Noah upon Christ's return. So the way I look at it, I haven't seen anything yet. What you and your wife do is pretty tame compared to what people in Noah's day where doing. But I do warn you, believe it or not, you're headed in the wrong direction.

 

When you stand before your maker, don't make any excuses, cause when you deny ever hearing the truth, He'll remind you that a stranger on LS told you.

[VivianLee]

Hummmm....

 

I'm 37 yrs old and have been married for 18 yrs and I thought I'd heard and seen it all (of course I've only been aware of most things for the past 4 yrs , I'm a little behind and was sheltered) but I just don't get this. I understand fantasies but I just can't see it in a so called normal relationship that a man would want to see his wife with another man. It seems to go against nature. Men are usually so territorial, I just can't image a man wanting this. It seems like eventually things would break down, that the marriage would fail, I mean if you are into pushing limits, you're either going to go over the limit or you'll grow tired of each other if you can't find anymore limits to push....I just can't see anything healthy coming out of this!

[Iwould]

Originally posted by Moose

 

To answer the question that was asked of me: What my wife and I do with our fantasy is our business, we share them together and we consider them to be a sacred thing that should ONLY be shared between the two of us, no other. They are not suppressed like you might believe and we definitely don't live a suppressed life. We enjoy life to the fullest, even more so than most people ever do. We are not consumed with the way the world lives, or the pressure bestowed upon us by society's idea of how to live, but we are concerned for those who are ignorant in the ways and knowledge of God.

 

Yep. Agreed. Your business, and my opinions. Here they come.

 

You said your wife is bi-curious, but that's not acceptable to you (of course you blame this intolerance on God, like so many intolerant people do) so is it such a stretch to say that she probably has some bi-sexual fantasies that you ( or God, if you prefer) would rather she suppress?

 

Like I said before, not every man has the same fantasies as those guys, but pretty much every man has some. And heres the newsflash, SO DO WOMEN.

 

I'm not trying to disrespect your wife or your marriage or even your religion, but there is a clear contradiction here. And out of respect for what you're saying about keeping your fantasies between you two (or to herself, in your wifes case) I wont ask you what they are, I'm only asking you what you expect she should do with them? Bottle them up forever? Or until shes a thousand miles away somewhere where you'll never find out and a handsome stranger comes along who she feels comfortable with and invites her to indulge herself just one time and she feels sexual and alive and free and YOU NEVER KNOW ABOUT IT.

 

Now, I'm not much of a gambling man, but considering your reaction to her admission of bisexual curiosity, I'd bet even money she has some other fantasies she probably will never venture to tell you about. I'd bet she's had some experiences she'd never tell you about as well.

 

Its pretty amazing how naive and ignorant we men can be about womens sexuality, and how conflicted we men make them with our "good girl/bad girl" dichotomy, but I personally know too many men whose wives have left them after YEARS of marriage for women or for more open minded men.

 

Again, no disrespect to your religious beliefs, but its a display of your own ignorance to run and blame the bible for what you believe when your common sense and ability to reason fails you. Its just a clear display of the fact that you cant think through what you believe yourself. You shouldnt be suprised that more than one person can think for themselves.

 

Originally posted by LoveMyWoman

in the WHOLE loveshack.org site, this is the ONLY topic I've seen with a 5 star rating. I just tried to vote on rating this thread and it appears that rating is reserved for MEMBERS ONLY. Just look at it, its one of the most active threads on the entire site, so if the objective was "to elicit a reaction", it damn sure worked. Can't argue that.

 

Oh, and another thing, traffic and repeat visitors is GOOD for a site like this ...

 

Considering who benefits most from a hot topic like this, I would have bet on the site managers as an alias for ShareHer! :-)

[Moose]

I don't see where the contradiction is......my wife's curiosity is viewed as wrong in God's eyes, does it mean she'll lose the curiosity, no, can she be forgiven for them, yes. Should she bottle them up forever? no, she should be open about them with me and God, no one else. Should she take a handsome man up on it if she gets the chance? That's up to her, and like I said before, she will have to deal with the consequences if she does. Should I be worried that she'll explore these feelings behind my back for fear that I won't approve? She knows that she can't get away with such an act, I'm not the one she fears, the one she fears sees and knows all, so no, I'm not worried about that happening.

 

You didn't give anyone here a so called, "News Flash" either. I think it's safe to say that most people on this forum knew that tid-bit already......you didn't enlighten anyone.

 

There is no one on earth who knows my wife better than me, I know everything she has done, wishes she had done, her fantasies, her fears, her experiences, her goals, concerns, and hatred......even if she had a one night stand with someone else, male or female, she would eventually tell me, the guilt would kill her. There is nothing kept secret between her and I, so keep your money.....I don't need it.

 

And if believing in the bible displays my ignorance, then put a dunce cap on me....set me in the corner on a stool so everyone can make fun of me.....I'd be more than proud to be a fool for God.

 

We aren't intolerant, you can do whatever you want, no skin off our back, that's not intolerant is it?

 

Naive and ignorant of women's sexuality? Maybe you, but I truly know and love my mate, I have the knowledge and the respect of her needs. Convincing her to act on them is not going to happen because we both know for a fact it's in direct violation of our vows and boundaries of our marriage and of course, against God. Men who treat their wives like a hooker and a piece of meat, now, that's what I consider Naive and ignorant. Women leaving their marriage for more open minded men, good for the husband then!!! If my wife wanted to have sexual relations with other people, she would have to leave the marriage cause I wouldn't have it.

 

She's read this whole thread, and she just gets a kick out of your posts. It's great having what we have, and we don't need a third party to make her feel sexual, awake, alive and free..........so get over it.

 

She also pointed out that if your wives need sexual relations outside of your marriage, than you need to examine yourselves and figure out what you're doing wrong that they need third party help.....

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by supermom

Was the dare from you?

There was no actual dare. I said it was kind of like one. Sometimes when people feel dared to do something, it gives them extra incentive to do it when they might usually not.

 

Also, don't you think it is kind of like pimping your wife?

No, my buddy didn't pay us for the favor.

 

Do you see her as a whore?

No, but that might be a fun fantasy to play out.

 

What would you do if she fell in love with one of the guys she does for you?

Then I can rest assured that our relationship wasn't built to last. Even if I didn't enjoy watching her with other men and that sort of thing made me jealous, I wouldn't be with her if I thought there was danger of her falling in love with someone else. We are very secure with one another.

 

Wouldn't you think that you were the open door for them?

Sure. I would have provided the open door to a relationship that was meant to be.

 

Have you ever once cheated on her? If so, how did she take it?

Nope, I never have. I don't want any other lovers. She gives me everything I want.

 

IMO if my H was wanting the same things as you, I'd probably leave, because I would feel like he was seeing me as a good for nothing whore, so wtf do you see her as?

I see her as a beautiful, sexy, fun loving woman that's not hungup on what society considers normal.

 

Is her putang her best quality to you? If not, what is?

Physically? No, actually her breasts are probably my favorite. Her putang as you called it is pretty damned hot too. No wonder that guy loved it so much.

 

I just don't understand

That's ok, nobody expects you to understand. On paper it doesn't seem to make much sense but in reality, the thought of seeing her with another man is hot as hell. (Which according to the Christians is where I'm going anyway.)

[Fayebelle]

Originally posted by ShareHer

That's ok, nobody expects you to understand. On paper it doesn't seem to make much sense but in reality, the thought of seeing her with another man is hot as hell. (Which according to the Christians is where I'm going anyway.)

 

Please don't generalize. Just b/c you and Moose are having issues on the religious aspect doesn't mean you have the view of all Christians. If you will reread my response you will notice I never mentioned Hell.

 

But since you brought it up- my God is forgiving...I don't think he'll kick you out for your "moral shortcomings" since the only person they seem to be tormenting is you....and maybe Moose

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by sinner

ShareHer, don't you think you'd find a much more sympathetic reception at a more "swinging" web site.

 

Why are you posting, here? Is it only to elicit a reaction? I mean what can one say when you tell us your wife went down on some guy in the middle of a poker game? I suspect you're just trying to arouse some ire. Perhaps make fun of all the squares...

 

If I were looking for sympathy, that might be the case. I posted originally to find if other woman would enjoy this arrangement, not to have moderates judge me or my wife. I post here because I'm registered to post here and I choose to post here. I post here to have conversations not to have moderates try to tell me that their lifestyle is the only lifestyle one should have.

 

LoveShack's demographic is overwhelmingly female, and moderate to boot, so your swinging life style posts are going to get slammed.

Without females, this lifestyle would not be possible. There are many women that are into it but many won't admit to it on the boards for fear of others "slamming" them.

 

I suspect you're just trying to arouse some ire. Perhaps make fun of all the squares...

If I were trying to arouse ire, trust me, I could do a much better job of it. I don't think the others here are squares. I just think they think differently than we do.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by sinner

I suspect ShareHer is trolling on LoveShack for sexual partners. I view his posts as a form of personal ads. I wish him luck.

Trolling? Good grief, there are much more efficient ways of finding sexual partners. She is a beautiful woman. Most men we come in contact with find her very sexy. You might very well find her hot as well but I'll stop at that. Don't want to give the impression I'm luring you in!

 

However, when you push a swinger agenda on LoveShack you gotta expect some heat.Plus ShareHer, unlike some of our more emotionally vulnerable posters, can handle himself.

Funny. As much as I and this lifestyle in general are despised on this board, this thread just keeps drawling them back. Maybe they have more interest in it than they will admit.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by VivianLee

Hummmm....

 

I'm 37 yrs old and have been married for 18 yrs and I thought I'd heard and seen it all (of course I've only been aware of most things for the past 4 yrs , I'm a little behind and was sheltered) but I just don't get this. I understand fantasies but I just can't see it in a so called normal relationship that a man would want to see his wife with another man. It seems to go against nature. Men are usually so territorial, I just can't image a man wanting this. It seems like eventually things would break down, that the marriage would fail, I mean if you are into pushing limits, you're either going to go over the limit or you'll grow tired of each other if you can't find anymore limits to push....I just can't see anything healthy coming out of this!

 

VivianLee, people like you are the ones I enjoy most replying to. Although this lifestyle is shocking to you, you're kind enough not to judge me and make rude comments.

 

You're so correct about men being territorial. And they can be territorial in many different ways. Some men wouldn't think of having their wives work outside the home for fear they'd come in contact with other men. Some men prefer their woman to gain lots of weight so they won't be attractive to other men. Some men wouldn't consider allowing their wives to go on a "girls night out". All of those situations sound ridiculous to me. I want my wife to have fun in any way she desires. I would never be jealous of her vibrator. The only difference between her enjoying her vibrator and her enjoying another man is that the vibrator doesn't have a heartbeat. When she's done with her vibrator, she puts it back in the drawer and still loves me as much as ever. When she's done with the other man, she sends him home and still loves me as much as ever.

 

I am not alone in the way I think. There are a number of web sites devoted to men that enjoy sharing their wives. I don't know if it's against forum rules to post the link here.

[ShareHer]

Originally posted by Fayebelle

Please don't generalize. Just b/c you and Moose are having issues on the religious aspect doesn't mean you have the view of all Christians. If you will reread my response you will notice I never mentioned Hell.

I didn't exactly have him in mind when I mentioned Christians. My very best friend is a Christian. He loves me like the brother he never had. He tells me that I would make a good Christian and that I'm more kind, considerate and loving than most of the Christians he knows. But, after saying all that, he still thinks I'm going to hell.

 

But since you brought it up- my God is forgiving...I don't think he'll kick you out for your "moral shortcomings" since the only person they seem to be tormenting is you....and maybe Moose

 

Fayebelle, your statement "my God is forgiving" is kind of the basis of my lack of any sort of belief. Again, I'm not speaking of you but so many people make up their own rules on what is ok and what is not in "their" god's eyes. I know so many Christians that twist what's written in the bible to satisfy their own lifestyles.

 

I'm a little confused about your "since the only person they seem to be tormenting is you" comment. Who is "they"? Trust me, I'm a happy, non-tormented guy. Sure, I wish the wifie had more of a desire to fool around but if she never does, so be it. She's a great woman just the same.

 

Oh, and Moose doesn't torment me. I can't imagine living the life he does but he'd say the same about me.

[Iwould]

I didnt expect this thread to become "Moose's Marital Advice", cause actually, I wasnt offering it.

 

 

Originally posted by Moose

I don't see where the contradiction is......my wife's curiosity is viewed as wrong in God's eyes, does it mean she'll lose the curiosity, no, can she be forgiven for them, yes. Should she bottle them up forever? no, she should be open about them with me and God, no one else.

 

Where dont you see the contradiction in saying "she should only share them with me and God and nobody else", she shouldnt act on them, and saying its not a suppressive relationship? You appear to be saying that if she has desire for someone another woman, she should suppress it! Am I misinterpreting you?

 

Originally posted by Moose

Should she take a handsome man up on it if she gets the chance? That's up to her,

 

Obviously... as it is up to her to tell you about it or not.

 

Originally posted by Moose

and like I said before, she will have to deal with the consequences if she does.

 

and those consequences would be... what?

 

 

Originally posted by Moose

Should I be worried that she'll explore these feelings behind my back for fear that I won't approve? She knows that she can't get away with such an act,

 

She couldnt "get away" with keeping a secret from you? ... Um, I think you're not giving her quite enough credit here. I'm pretty sure she could, if she wanted to. And the way you pontificate, I could certainly see why she might want to.

 

Now I'm not saying she DOES, because as you correctly pointed out, I don't know your wife.

 

Originally posted by Moose

I'm not the one she fears, the one she fears sees and knows all, so no, I'm not worried about that happening.

 

"Couldnt happen, not worried about it."

Ah, naivety.

 

Let me ask you this, do you think your wife is above making mistakes? She isn't? Ok, so it IS possible then? Yeah, thought so.

 

Originally posted by Moose

You didn't give anyone here a so called, "News Flash" either. I think it's safe to say that most people on this forum knew that tid-bit already......you didn't enlighten anyone.

 

He who has ears, let him hear.

Yeah, its no "newsflash" to you because you dont believe it. From your own comments, you're quite sure it couldnt happen that she could even possibly have secret fantasies from you. It should have been a news flash for you, but I can see it was wasted.

 

Originally posted by Moose

We aren't intolerant, you can do whatever you want, no skin off our back, that's not intolerant is it?

 

You think you're tolerant because you dont try to stop me from doing what I want?

 

But where's the fine line between saying all those things about how you dont accept that from your wife, its not acceptable to our God, you would divorce her and make her "face the consequences" if she did it and not tolerating it?

 

Those are all indicating intolerance for something that doesnt fit your predefined recipe of how life should be.

 

Originally posted by Moose

Naive and ignorant of women's sexuality?

 

Yep. If you think its somehow deviant and unacceptable for a woman to be bi-curious, then naive and ignorant would be two of the most accurate words I could use to describe you. Bicuriousity among women is VERY common.

 

Originally posted by Moose

Maybe you, but I truly know and love my mate, I have the knowledge and the respect of her needs.

 

Naivity....

 

Originally posted by Moose

Convincing her to act on them is not going to happen because we both know for a fact it's in direct violation of our vows and boundaries of our marriage and of course, against God.

 

..and ignorance. You make my case so well.

 

 

Originally posted by Moose

Men who treat their wives like a hooker and a piece of meat, now, that's what I consider Naive and ignorant.

 

A valid opinion. My opinion of ignorance and naivity is men who separate the two and would pay hookers for what their wives would love to do for them, or would have mistresses to do things they want, but can't bring themselves to do with their wives.

 

But of course, we are two men arguing how women want to be regarded. We've been reminded already that we're in an overwhelmingly female forum, so maybe we should ask the opinion of the other participants.

 

 

Ladies,

Which is the more naive way to regard women?

 

 

Originally posted by Moose

Women leaving their marriage for more open minded men, good for the husband then!!! If my wife wanted to have sexual relations with other people, she would have to leave the marriage cause I wouldn't have it.

 

Yes, because you're obviously so tolerant.

 

Originally posted by Moose

She's read this whole thread, and she just gets a kick out of your posts.

 

Kewl!

 

Originally posted by Moose

It's great having what we have, and we don't need a third party to make her feel sexual, awake, alive and free..........so get over it.

 

Great for you because ignorance is bliss. You get to convince yourself that you dont have to worry about anything, and she will never deviate from the path you set out for her, and what you give/have will always be everything she needs, and she'll never ever keep any kind of secret from you, and yada yada yada.

 

She gets to deal with the difficulties of having desires that don't fit in your "righteous" plan, as stated above.

 

Originally posted by Moose

O She also pointed out that if your wives need sexual relations outside of your marriage, than you need to examine yourselves and figure out what you're doing wrong that they need third party help.....

 

What a cheap shot!

 

But look Moose, you wont even let her speak for herself! I guess that's on account of the fact that you already know everything there is to know about what she would say for herself anyway, eh?

[koala bear]

This post is for mymaniscrazy.......... Good for you if you don't want to do something don't do it. It wrong for him to ask you if you already said NO. I hope thing work out for you. Good Luck and your right that would be very funny if this was your hubby and kind of sick at the same time. once again good luck.

[Moose]

First to Fayebelle:

 

But since you brought it up- my God is forgiving...I don't think he'll kick you out for your "moral shortcomings" since the only person they seem to be tormenting is you....and maybe Moose

 

Seems we have a different God, mine is also forgiving, but He won't allow anyone in His kingdom that doesn't first accept the fact that they are dirty with sin and needs cleansing. It's my opinion, and belief that unless you truly believe that His Son, Jesus, paid our sin debt with his death and rose again, you will not experience eternal life in the kingdom of heaven. You can't get, "Kicked out" of something when you're not a part of it to begin with anyway. And yes, in a way this thread has been a torment to me......it's kind of bitter sweet really.....This thread is totally against what marriage was invented to be, ( In my eyes only apparently ), but at the same time, it's prophecy coming true and that excites me.

 

Iwould,

 

I don't know which part of my post(s) is confusing you.....let me just do what you do to me and go paragraph to paragraph......

 

I didnt expect this thread to become "Moose's Marital Advice", cause actually, I wasnt offering it.

 

Are you saying that you started this thread? I believe it was Shareher.

 

Where dont you see the contradiction in saying "she should only share them with me and God and nobody else", she shouldnt act on them, and saying its not a suppressive relationship? You appear to be saying that if she has desire for someone another woman, she should suppress it! Am I misinterpreting you?

 

Yes you are......you are missing the point here and maybe I can put this to rest for you.....It's not ME suppressing her, it's not ME telling her to not act on them, and I'm by no means saying that she's not allowed to have those feelings. ( I have no power or authority to put any kind of restrictions on my wife, and no husband should....just MO. ) It's by HER choice to follow God, and SHE knows what is right and what is wrong in His eyes.....being curious about sexual acts with the same gender doesn't neccesitate the need to carry them out.

 

As far as what you posted next, ( Trying to save space on the server ), the part about meeting up with another handsome man, that it's up to her to act, the consequences, and me finding out, that she's capable of keeping secrets from me, and she could make a mistake, and finally your comment on, "Thought so"......well, it's obvious again that you're missing the point.

 

While it is all true and you're absolutely right in a lot of respects........IFFFFFFF, she acted on it, and that's a huge IF, the consequences for her would be her own guilt, how she felt afterwards, potential STD's, potential loss of her husband and her five children, all brought on by herself. I'm even saying that even if I never found out about it, God already knows, and she knows that God knows.....it's again by HER choice to honor God and His ways......the consequences are there regardless....

 

He who has ears, let him hear.

Yeah, its no "newsflash" to you because you dont believe it. From your own comments, you're quite sure it couldnt happen that she could even possibly have secret fantasies from you. It should have been a news flash for you, but I can see it was wasted.

 

Hmmmmm, quoting the bible that I run and hide in, that I've been, "brain washed" with, that proves my ignorance........ok, it might not have been you who said that, maybe it was.....but since it was you that had to quote it, here's the hole you just dug yourself in:

 

"He who has ears, let him hear" and "Verily, verily I say unto you", are 2 key phrases in the Hebrew language that throws up a red flag, if you will, for readers to understand that if you gain anything from this, what I'm about to say is most important. In other words, "you better listen".....in the same book that you quoted, Matthew 19:1-6, ( I sincerely hope you pick up a sword, to you that's a bible, and read it ), Jesus is talking to the Pharisees about divorce, and what God intended marriage to be and I quote:

 

Verse 4: And He answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

 

Verse 5: And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

 

Verse 6: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let NO MAN put asunder.

 

Male and Female, not 2 Males and 1 Female or 2 Females, and 1 Male, not 2 Males and not 2 Females, one Man and one Woman. So where am I going with this? My wife and I are one flesh....we share EVERYTHING......fantasies, hopes, dreams, EVERYTHING, what's so hard to understand about that? Sure it's possible for her to have her secret fantasy......and she might of even had one today looking at a cute cashier at the store......I don't know for sure....and maybe she has so many that she forgets to mention them.....so what....it's normal to have them.....we are HUMAN, we ALL know that, it's no news flash and yes it was wasted, because I do believe she could have them, and I also believe that if I asked, she would be more than willing to tell me about it.

 

You think you're tolerant because you dont try to stop me from doing what I want?

 

But where's the fine line between saying all those things about how you dont accept that from your wife, its not acceptable to our God, you would divorce her and make her "face the consequences" if she did it and not tolerating it?

 

Those are all indicating intolerance for something that doesnt fit your predefined recipe of how life should be.

 

Friend, If I wasn't trying to stop you from doing what you want, would I be typing this at 12:30 in the morning?

You want to know where the fine line is? I do accept my wife's curiosity, I will not accept her acting on it...why? Go back to Matthew and you'll see, we are to be one flesh, there is only one reason in the bible that divorce would be accepted by God, and that would be fornification of the marriage itself, in other words, we are to remain as one flesh, to not take part of any other, "fleshy pleasures". AGAIN, it isn't me MAKING her face the consequences.....it would be brought on by herself, because she CHOSE to follow God and His words:

 

Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosever shall put away his wife, EXCEPT IT BE FORNICATION, and shall marry another, commiteth adultery, and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.....get it now??????????

 

 

As for the rest of your post, I'm not gonna go through all the trouble to correct you yet again. What you need to keep in mind, whether you think I'm naive, or ignorant, or suppressing my wife's desires, or whatever, you have no clue what my wife feels about this situation, as far as what she's told me, she doesn't understand why fantasizing about being with another woman turns her on so much. But to her it's something that she knows and feels is wrong, and it's my opinion that she gets turned on just because IT IS so dirty. It's not ME making her feel that way, and that's why I know she'll never act on it, UNDERSTAND????? And even if she did, like I've said before....I'd have good cause to end it, or I have good cause to forgive it. Personally, I would choose the latter, because, after all, we are only human.

 

My so called, "Righteous plan" and "Path" I set before her.....hmmmm, of course I would like to take credit for that, but I'm afraid I have to disappoint you yet again.....it's God's righteous plan and path that she follows, and it's HER choice, Her choice, her choice......believe me, sometimes, even I'm a little envious how much she follows Him......although, it's also a strength to me to see how much faith she puts in His plan for her life. I consider myself the richest man on earth to be part of her life and her walk with God.

 

To me, we share a part of our wives lives, only I don't agree with the way you or Shareher, or whoever is comfortable with third party sexual partners, and you and some others don't agree with our lifestyle.

 

You and I and Shareher and whomever else is on this thread that is up on this swinging lifestyle are trying to convince each other what is right and what is wrong. You can use the old, "judge not lest ye be judged", scenario, and that's your right, however, when you have the tenacity to call me naive, ignorant, suppressive, even moderate.......keep in mind, I consider those judgments on your part. And in some ways, you're complimenting me....for that I say thanks.

 

The last comment that you made:

 

What a cheap shot!

 

But look Moose, you wont even let her speak for herself! I guess that's on account of the fact that you already know everything there is to know about what she would say for herself anyway, eh?

 

She's read every word on this thread......if you knew all that she's said and how much taming I had to do to communicate her thoughts.....well, my next donation to LS will be a large one just so that she can put in her two cents in and not crash the server.

 

P.S. I think that it was rather brave of you to ask the opinions of the women on this forum......are you sure you didn't disturb a hornets nest or was that you intentions anyway....