Ohmylife Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 i posted this somewhere else but i thought i might get some answers here. ill try to sum it up small. I met my best friend, lets call him BOY when he was the roommate of a guy i was casually seeing. we hit it off right away and instantly became close. We spent almost every weekend together, and he never dated anyone, while i was in serious relationships continuously. He would always hang out with me and whoever i was dating and we always had fun together. then one night BOY met a skanky girl at a bar and they started dating. i got INSANELY jealous and the feelings came flooding out. we both declared our love for each other, slept together, and that was that. for three weeks. then BOY left on a deployment. we spoke via skype every night and i was extremely devoted. i was excited for him to get home so we could continue our new found relationship. about 6 months into the deployment i started to get lonely and bored and i got drunk and hooked up with someone. i developed feelings for the someone and when BOY came home, i had to tell him. he was crushed. i felt awful- but we had only been "together" for three weeks so it felt easy and natural for me to feel like we were just friends- like we always had been. He cut off contact with me, and i stayed with the someone. i ended up having a baby with him and we got married for the benefits. The whole time i was married (about 2 years) i thought about BOY constantly. i missed him like crazy and i knew i was still in love with him. so my marriage ended for various reasons, and i went looking for BOY. after a lot of letters, apologizing, etc, he forgave me and we started talking again. then one night we hooked up. and it was amazing. it felt like we had never been apart. he met my baby, who is nine months, and admitted he felt weird about it (reminder of what i had done). so we decided to just be friends with benefits, because we love hooking up together (best sex of my life) but im in love with him, and he knows it, so it makes it complicated. he says he feels the same way but cannot be with me because of the baby and the "situation she creates" whatever that means, and that he doesnt trust me, doesnt want a commitment, etc. i understand it will take time for all of this. the issue is, he keeps going back and forth of wanting to just hook up, or just be friends without hooking up, to telling me he wants to be with me but cant, etc. we talk CONSTANTLY, love being together, etc, with no issues. but he is VERY confused and wishy washy, and honestly, it really hurts. i learned a lot from what i did to him, and i would never do it again. i realize i took him for granted and im so fortunate to have him back. im scared to death of losing him again, i truly believe he is my soulmate. he says he really believes i have grown up and changed my ways and appreciates me new found honesty. what can i do to fix this. should i not hook up with him? or do? let him come to me? chase him? i need help, its a mess. and i cant lose him! ah!! Link to post Share on other sites
GLDheart Posted July 11, 2012 Share Posted July 11, 2012 Stop pushing the subject. It forces him to hold his ground. If you just focus on enjoying your time with him and he starts to grow fond of your daughter, he will get over the past... If he doesn't get over it, too bad for him. Your Daughter comes first now. I will never be with someone that doesn't treat my Daughters the way I feel is right. They come first. Link to post Share on other sites
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