aRealMan Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 So, there're plenty of pua sites directed to helping men get women. There are even plenty of yahoo articles that display help for men. I lost count of how many TV commercials that tell "him" what "he" should buy "her" in order to "win" "her" over. Hell, there are even plenty of topics on here that tell guys: be confident, be assertive, be funny, pay for her meals, etc, etc Has anyone actually wondered how they got on the pedestal in the first place? And what do they have to offer that keeps them there? You would think that since one gender is clearly valued more than the other, there would be a long list of reasons, right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thatoneguy1988 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 well to me any girl worth winning over is (a girl that isnt addicted to drugs, is healthy example 5ft 5 135 lbs, and at least average in looks, and somewhat sane) but its impossible to find that Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 The main alternatives are that you remain alone or go for guys instead. If you cannot see the positives in winning over and being with a woman who is compatible with you, then perhaps those alternatives are worth considering. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 A woman worth winning over is one who doesn't need to be put on a pedestal. Plenty of them out there. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Algermas Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 In most species females serve as the reproductive gatekeeper. Humans are, in essence, no different than the peacock. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 It's because women are passive by nature and desired. Women have options. So in order to get her, a guy must prove himself to be better then the other men. Even if a woman doesn't have pursuers, which is rare, a guy must still meet her standards, or else she will be content with being alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Has anyone actually wondered how they got on the pedestal in the first place? And what do they have to offer that keeps them there? You would think that since one gender is clearly valued more than the other, there would be a long list of reasons, right? It's actually culture specific. In the U.S. and some other western countries, men put women on a pedestal. In eastern europe, the middel east and many other parts of the world, women put men on a pedestal. In our society, men are taught from an early age to 'pursue' and 'win over' females. This mental conditioning is so strong, it's very hard to shake off. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 If YOU think she's "worth" winning over, then it's up to you to decide whether to try it or not. If you don't make the effort, you might face a lifetime of regret. If you do make the effort and do not meet with success, you might face a lifetime of butt-hurt bitterness. Or anything in between. Your choice. Pedestals don't even come into the equation, and neither do the actual characteristics of the woman, really. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 The main alternatives are that you remain alone or go for guys instead. If you cannot see the positives in winning over and being with a woman who is compatible with you, then perhaps those alternatives are worth considering. What an odd statement. It's like me suggesting that a woman who complains about being unable to find a decent man should consider clitoridectomy. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 What an odd statement. It's like me suggesting that a woman who complains about being unable to find a decent man should consider clitoridectomy. Not really. January did not suggest genital mutilation or even giving up on sexual activity. I'm sure that if a woman is completely unwilling and scornful about the idea of putting out effort towards establishing a relationship with a man because men are not "worth" it, it would not be unwise for her to consider that she might be a lesbian. Or a chronic onanist, or asexual. But she could keep her clit, just like you can keep your wiener even though you dislike women. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 When she will treat you will and your life will be better with her in it. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 I'll chase a woman if I see her worth chasing but there's no way I'm gonna go head over heels for her unless I'm crazy. She has to reciprocate. Meet me at least and show some interest. If she doesn't, then she can remain on that pedestal for all I care. Won't bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aRealMan Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 The main alternatives are that you remain alone or go for guys instead. If you cannot see the positives in winning over and being with a woman who is compatible with you, then perhaps those alternatives are worth considering. A passive-aggressive butthurt answer. Funny how you didn't even mention any positives. Just the typical "go gay" thing. It's because women are passive by nature and desired. Women have options. So in order to get her, a guy must prove himself to be better then the other men. Even if a woman doesn't have pursuers, which is rare, a guy must still meet her standards, or else she will be content with being alone. Do you really think they'd be content being alone. Women need attention more than guys need sex. Look at how many serial daters, facebook addicts, and girls who flirt while being taken. It's actually culture specific. In the U.S. and some other western countries, men put women on a pedestal. In eastern europe, the middel east and many other parts of the world, women put men on a pedestal. In our society, men are taught from an early age to 'pursue' and 'win over' females. This mental conditioning is so strong, it's very hard to shake off. Yes, that's what I was getting at. I was wondering if guys actually thought that they were worth winning over, or if they do it without a second thought, AKA social conditioning. When she will treat you will and your life will be better with her in it. I actually kind of like this answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author aRealMan Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 If YOU think she's "worth" winning over, then it's up to you to decide whether to try it or not. If you don't make the effort, you might face a lifetime of regret. If you do make the effort and do not meet with success, you might face a lifetime of butt-hurt bitterness. Or anything in between. Your choice. Pedestals don't even come into the equation, and neither do the actual characteristics of the woman, really. Actually, in the US they do. And how can someone be "bitter" when the counter part (historically speaking) hasn't exactly proved themselves valuable for anything other than reproduction. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 What an odd statement. It's like me suggesting that a woman who complains about being unable to find a decent man should consider clitoridectomy. Yup, Mme. Chaucer explained very well what I meant. If your target market is not worth it and you cannot change your products, you must change your target market and ply your goods elsewhere - you don't keep churning out the same goods and expect your target market to change their needs to suit you. Of course, another alternative is that you improve the quality or range of goods that you offer. I didn't mention anything as intrusive as cutting off body parts. I suspect that you wrote that for dramatic effect, FG. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Not really. January did not suggest genital mutilation or even giving up on sexual activity. I'm sure that if a woman is completely unwilling and scornful about the idea of putting out effort towards establishing a relationship with a man because men are not "worth" it, it would not be unwise for her to consider that she might be a lesbian. Or a chronic onanist, or asexual. But she could keep her clit, just like you can keep your wiener even though you dislike women. Yeah but I like women. If a woman is a feminist but not a lesbian, what could she possibly need a clit for? Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Yeah but I like women. If a woman is a feminist but not a lesbian, what could she possibly need a clit for? If you don't know, then I can't help you. Maybe a course in basic human sexuality might be in order?? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Yup, Mme. Chaucer explained very well what I meant. If your target market is not worth it and you cannot change your products, you must change your target market and ply your goods elsewhere - you don't keep churning out the same goods and expect your target market to change their needs to suit you. Of course, another alternative is that you improve the quality or range of goods that you offer. I didn't mention anything as intrusive as cutting off body parts. I suspect that you wrote that for dramatic effect, FG. Turning gay is not considered "dramatic" in your book? A much better alternative, in my view, is to stop being a pussy (no pun intended) and quit putting women on a pedestal. Instead of being a desperate pussy beggar who chases after and tries to "win over" women, you need to become a man that women chase after and try to win over (which is not that hard, really, if you play your card rights). Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 A passive-aggressive butthurt answer. Funny how you didn't even mention any positives. Just the typical "go gay" thing. Since you're not inside my head, I'll be the judge of what I'm feeling right now. "Going gay" as you put it, is a legitimate choice. I'm deadly serious. If you're at the point of desperation where you need to ask internet strangers about the worth of the target of your attraction (I'm assuming you are heterosexual given your reaction to "going gay") then it suggests you are not sure about your attraction to that target. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 "Going gay" as you put it, is a legitimate choice. I'm deadly serious. Are you speaking from personal experience? Deadly serious question. Link to post Share on other sites
fishtaco Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 If YOU think she's "worth" winning over, then it's up to you to decide whether to try it or not. If you don't make the effort, you might face a lifetime of regret. If you do make the effort and do not meet with success, you might face a lifetime of butt-hurt bitterness. Or anything in between. Your choice. Pedestals don't even come into the equation, and neither do the actual characteristics of the woman, really. Women face lifetime of regret too. It's not like it's in the exclusive domain of men. The pedestal-putting is just part of the show. If you REALLY put someone on the pedestal, you've just taken yourself out of the equation. If you give something away for free, then others will perceive it as worthless. So yes, in the US, this pedestal thing is all the rage. But you have to remember, it's just a game. The men that put women on the highest pedestal are usually the first ones to earn the honor of being the back-burner guy. You do it just enough to satisfy the social requirement, and nothing more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Turning gay is not considered "dramatic" in your book? A much better alternative, in my view, is to stop being a pussy (no pun intended) and quit putting women on a pedestal. Instead of being a desperate pussy beggar who chases after and tries to "win over" women, you need to become a man that women chase after and try to win over (which is not that hard, really, if you play your card rights). Nope, not dramatic at all, in my opinion. I think it's a viable alternative. I do agree with you, FG, that men (and women) need to take more responsibility - take action and reframe their perceptions and change their behaviour rather than sitting idly and complaining that they're not happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelsgoodman Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Nope, not dramatic at all, in my opinion. I think it's a viable alternative. Again...are you talking from personal experience? Did turning gay solve your problems? I'm genuinely curious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aRealMan Posted July 10, 2012 Author Share Posted July 10, 2012 Since you're not inside my head, I'll be the judge of what I'm feeling right now. "Going gay" as you put it, is a legitimate choice. I'm deadly serious. If you're at the point of desperation where you need to ask internet strangers about the worth of the target of your attraction (I'm assuming you are heterosexual given your reaction to "going gay") then it suggests you are not sure about your attraction to that target. "desperation"? Excuse me? Now I can see why you're a regular on here. Any female who's at least a 5/10 probably doesn't need a dating-help website. Every question is responded with subtle jabs of bitterness and butthurt. In the end, all I was wondering is what is the worth of your group besides sex. It's strange that the gender responsible for everything that we have in the world today, are mostly chasing putting the less valuable gender on a pedestal. Not trying to be mean, but one has to admit, it seems a bit backwards. But FGM pretty much nailed it. It's just social conditioning -- seeing as no one really gave any other direct answer. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Again...are you talking from personal experience? Did turning gay solve your problems? I'm genuinely curious. FG, I don't have problems with men. I love them. One in particular. So nothing to solve. I did consider "turning gay" when I found out that a female friend was attracted to me, but I wasn't attracted to her - not because she was the same sex, but I just wasn't attracted to her. Thus, I maintain that it's a viable option, for anyone, male or female. aRealMan - I have an SO. I'm here to help those who want to be helped. Judging by your posts, you feel that I'm not helping you but rather I'm attacking you. That's unfortunate and not my intention. If you are happy with FGM's answer, then I guess your thread is done. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts