Romantic gestures down the LTR road.. or lack thereof

[Els]

Probably not a good attribute for a man to have to retain attraction but it's my style and I ain't gonna change it.

 

I have always been a huge fan of this attribute, and always will be.

[carhill]

Yes, you have a lot of company. My comment reflected life experience with the dynamic of want versus attraction. To boil it down, some/many women want that the man who they are attracted to does such things/says such words. It's a pursuit of sorts. The trick for the man is to never be completely 'caught'. That was the error I made in my M and, generally, in failed past relationships. I got caught. Once caught, boredom sets in and romantic gestures are received as ordinary and expected.

 

Hence, the 'lack thereof' has traction in the dynamic, as it engages frustration and annoyance; a smart man balances the two. When I take a hard look at the M's around me which have lasted for decades and where I see/hear a goodly amount of their 'stuff' as a trusted friend, that's what I see. Balance. In fact, some of the wives told me directly that I 'doted' on my exW too much. Fair criticism. Accepted.

[mercy]

Yes, you have a lot of company. My comment reflected life experience with the dynamic of want versus attraction. To boil it down, some/many women want that the man who they are attracted to does such things/says such words. It's a pursuit of sorts. The trick for the man is to never be completely 'caught'. That was the error I made in my M and, generally, in failed past relationships. I got caught. Once caught, boredom sets in and romantic gestures are received as ordinary and expected.

 

Hence, the 'lack thereof' has traction in the dynamic, as it engages frustration and annoyance; a smart man balances the two. When I take a hard look at the M's around me which have lasted for decades and where I see/hear a goodly amount of their 'stuff' as a trusted friend, that's what I see. Balance. In fact, some of the wives told me directly that I 'doted' on my exW too much. Fair criticism. Accepted.

 

I agree, too much of a good thing is never a good thing.

 

h has to be careful with that too and sometimes I have to remind myself how bad I wanted a 'good' guy to marry. Sometimes he's just too nice.

[Els]

Balance in everything is certainly a good idea, IMO.