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Dread When Someone Reaches In


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Does it bother anyone else if a family member contacts to reach out? I dread the phone ringing, and answering to someone asking, have not heard from you, are you ok, am worried about you.

I would have called if I found it necessary, and at those times I wish to be to my self, these calls, really bother me. I should be happy someone is concerned, but I feel opposite, like they are invading, and they will continue to call.....very difficult to explain.

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Maybe, just now thinking about it again, because I would rather have a phone call, because all is great in my life, not someone calling to see if I am okay, still living and breathing.

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I'll use an example that might perhaps jog perception...

 

I often still startle and somewhat 'dread' the phone ringing, mainly for two reasons, and they're both emotional at base.

 

One is the long period of time where I would receive calls in the middle of the night from my mother on some usually benign psychotic rant, especially in the period prior to locked placement. The combination of the craziness and constant sleep disruption, both from the phone and when I was actually caring in person, caused me to dread the phone ringing.

 

Two is, with rare exceptions, unlike your example, people generally call when they want something. It's very rare that anyone calls to just see 'what's up' and 'how are you doing'. Yeah, that might be the lead-in, but then they always/invariably get to the punch line, accessing my skill set.

 

I assign emotions to these experiences, and those emotional memories are triggered by the ring of the telephone. Pure stimulus trigger of emotional memory. It can be processed, and I learned to do that, but recognize the triggers nonetheless.

 

What's your story? That you view family members and friends calling to see how you are doing as 'invading' your space comes from somewhere. Where?

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I'll use an example that might perhaps jog perception...

 

I often still startle and somewhat 'dread' the phone ringing, mainly for two reasons, and they're both emotional at base.

 

One is the long period of time where I would receive calls in the middle of the night from my mother on some usually benign psychotic rant, especially in the period prior to locked placement. The combination of the craziness and constant sleep disruption, both from the phone and when I was actually caring in person, caused me to dread the phone ringing.

 

Two is, with rare exceptions, unlike your example, people generally call when they want something. It's very rare that anyone calls to just see 'what's up' and 'how are you doing'. Yeah, that might be the lead-in, but then they always/invariably get to the punch line, accessing my skill set.

 

I assign emotions to these experiences, and those emotional memories are triggered by the ring of the telephone. Pure stimulus trigger of emotional memory. It can be processed, and I learned to do that, but recognize the triggers nonetheless.

 

What's your story? That you view family members and friends calling to see how you are doing as 'invading' your space comes from somewhere. Where?

 

Perfect. Great analogy. You are correct. A check in to make sure I am not dead, so their lives can go on as they wish it too. Cannot say more for TMI and privacy, but yes, I feel like answering and saying, "I am still f'king alive, do not worry. Maybe an automated voice message of saying just that:)

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"I am still f'king alive, do not worry." Maybe an automated voice message of saying just that

 

Try that and see how it goes. I like the automated message. I did that for awhile and just shut the phone's ringer off. It was either that or set the thing on fire and put it out with a machine gun :)

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Does it bother anyone else if a family member contacts to reach out? I dread the phone ringing, and answering to someone asking, have not heard from you, are you ok, am worried about you.

I would have called if I found it necessary, and at those times I wish to be to my self, these calls, really bother me. I should be happy someone is concerned, but I feel opposite, like they are invading, and they will continue to call.....very difficult to explain.

 

I'm terrified of the phone. For some unknown reason, but probably because it always bears bad news. I hate feeling as though people are "invading my privacy", especially with "How are you? I'm worried about you, blah blah blah.." So yes, I know what you mean. I figure if there was something I'd wanted them to know, I'd have told them. My family figured that out quite some time ago. Now they just do the "grapevine" thing. They never ask me. They ask someone else who's talked to me or knows what's going on.

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Maybe, just now thinking about it again, because I would rather have a phone call, because all is great in my life, not someone calling to see if I am okay, still living and breathing.

They call because they love you and care about you.

 

Isn't that enough?

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