Stage Two: Extreme Hatred and Thirst for Revenge

[KaiaMahina]

Two weeks since my loving, courageous, manly, trustworthy fiancee dumped my fine ass over the phone while I was AT WORK (and less than one week after he had offered me a ruby/diamond engagement ring), and I'm so absolutely furious that I could tear his house down to the ground and then dig up the foundation with my bare hands! If Stage One is grief, Stage Two is being damned good and mad.

 

That miserable #$@damn mother!#$#% ass@$!%!!!! I can't believe that I've spent hours crying over him, unable to eat, unable to sleep without thoroughly exhausting myself, then dreaming of that worthless turd and waking up miserable. I'm so filled with rage I can't concentrate. I go to work and can't function. I'm at a total loss when I get home; I watch television like a zombie or pace the place like a caged mountain lion with a taste for blood.

 

I don't wish him ONE moment of happiness from this day until the day they toss his withered sad ass into his lonely grave. I hope that every single endeavor he undertakes cames to nothing but bitter failure. I hope he sustains one heartbreaking disappointment after another, and that the people he loves most turn on him and betray him with the same callous disregard that he used with me. I hope that he looks back down the long, dark tunnel of his life and sees me as the last light he could have hoped for and lapses into total despair. I also hope he goes bald!!!!!!!!!!!

 

My only consolation is that the Greeks were right: "The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine." Which is just a fancy way of saying that good-for-nothing sons of $@#@% who screw with you will eventually get what's coming to them.

[lexnmike4enomore]

I know right now may seem like rock bottom. But if he were to call you later and say that he was sorry and gave you every line in the book , would you take him back. Know your going to say no but when that time comes, i think you will. Everyone does. No matter what their guy does to them, they usually always take them back. And i can tell how mad you are so you must have loved him. The second he says" Baby. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Blah Blah Blah, you are going to melt and fall for it again. thats what happens 90% of the time, But if you want revenge slash his tires or put Bologna on his car. It peels the paint right off. Just remember, be strong. If he wants you back, DO NOT listen to a word he says. he just doesn't want to be alone and he's settling for you. DON'T GIVE IN. Most women do and we have to stop that. Set an example.

[dudesomewhere]

let it vent baby!

 

question, would you go back to him if he asked? Just messin

 

hey, your handle. You're not Hawaiian are you? Yes or no, story for you. I was working my retail ass and in came 2 brothers. Brothers cuz they look like brothers you know, all related looking. . Me being the asian I am notice they have this asiatic look to them.

 

Dudes were funny as hell and very friendly too...told me they were from Hawaii. So in my head I wonder about their ethnic makeup...probably mostly chinese/japanese with a bit of pacific islander mixed with some caucasian genes, big square jaws they had...could come from anywhere that part

 

anyway, just a sidestrack story...help you think of something else. So doesn't matter if you're hawaiian or not

[simplybrill]

ah, hawaiian's gotta luv em....why arent there more in the world? I think we're going through a hawaiian guy shortage here on the east coast!

[KaiaMahina]

Dudesomewhere, I took the name Kaia Mahina, meaning Sea Moon because those are the natural entities that I love the most. I have been mistaken for Hawaiian, Polynesian and Tahitian, but I'm Cherokee and Six Nations (Mohawk), with some Irish thrown in for the hell of it. Coming from these people, when I go to war, the earth shakes. I'm sure my ex can feel the ground tremble in his little cowardly rabbit warren even now.

 

LexnMike, thanks for the good words. I AM rock bottom because I was led down the posey-strewn garden path. HE fell in love with me before I fell for him. HE brought up marriage, and was sweet and loving and persuasive until I said yes. HE kept moving the date up, nearer and nearer. HE wanted to look at rings. HE told me to have the ring that I liked set with the ruby I chose and it was mine. HE called day and night, sent emails, brought gifts every time he drive 250 miles to see me. What woman in her right mind wouldn't fall for that? But then he gets cold feet and hysterical and does precisely what he said he would never do: leave me.

 

He wasted a YEAR of my life, demanding exclusivity and an engagement, and I keep thinking who I may have met if I hadn't been tied down to his chicken**** self. He sure turned tail and took off like a greased weasel on roller skates. Like the song by the Pet Shop Boys, "What did I do to deserve this?"

 

Would I take him back? Hell yes. When he crawls buck naked on a 100 degree day across an asphalt parking lot the size of a football field strewn with ground glass and then through a salt mine. Which is exactly what he's going to have to do emotionally if he ever wants me to give him the time of day again. I have made no contact with him and have no intention of flushing my dignity down the toilet by doing so. The ball is in his court. But then again, it can't be, because he has no balls to speak of.

[HokeyReligions]

Originally posted by KaiaMahina

I have been mistaken for Hawaiian, Polynesian and Tahitian, but I'm Cherokee and Six Nations (Mohawk), with some Irish thrown in for the hell of it. Coming from these people, when I go to war, the earth shakes. I'm sure my ex can feel the ground tremble in his little cowardly rabbit warren even now.

 

Now I know why I can relate to your posts! I'm Apache, Irish and German! Green eyes, red hair, dark complexion -- I scare 'em before I even say anything! Wanna talk tempers and plotting! (and I'm a Leo)

 

Hey, vent away -- this stage is better than the crying and grief. Hope you kept the ring -- you can sell it and get yourself something useful!

[dudesomewhere]

gotta tell ya...I like that fire.

 

ah, my fiery native american warrior maiden sista

 

I would hope you not take him back though...not with that attitude. It would be like me looking at some typhoon and then having it instantaneously calmed with the flick of some proverbial switch.

 

I love seeing that sort of strength in women...is that bad? It evidently is with some of these posters...not in this thread per se, but at ls

 

[KaiaMahina]

HokeyReligions, greetings to my Apache sister! I'll bet you don't take any prisoners! And you got it right, this is far better than boo-hooing and crawling around over a boy who should be strung up by his ... combat boots.

 

Dudesomewhere, this typhoon ain't nowhere near making landfall just yet! It's gonna rip-ass along out in the deep water yet for a while, maybe take out a couple of small Caribbean islands, until HE comes out in his little old row boat...

 

Meaning, I'm just WAITING for him to contact me!

[sinner]

He sure turned tail and took off like a greased weasel on roller skates.

 

 

Wow, KaiaMahina, girl you can write! I know you're nuclear angry but your literate posts rock the palace!!!

 

I've never found anyone's rage so damn entertaining.

 

Do you know if there's another woman? Were there any portents? Signs? Did this really come out of the proverbial blue?

[JulieBoolie]

Well at least someone else is royally pissed off at their ex. This just made my day reading these posts.

 

I fell for the same $*@! too from my ex - he rushed the relationship, professed undying love, bought flowers, bought me a killer engagement ring, etc., etc. Whole time he kept "threatening" me that if I ever cheated I'd be out the door. I being the wise woman I am - saw this major red flag. I know that guys who are so worried about you cheating on them are usually up to no good themselves.

 

Ends up this ass-wad was flirting and carrying on behind my back. But you'll enjoy hearing I did to get him back. I took his porno magazine and opened it to one of the pages that showed this guy with an enormous penis and wrote "IF YOU WERE THIS BIG I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO FAKE IT ALL THOSE TIMES!!!". I put the magazine and his KY Jelly on his pillow (the last time I walked out his door after he went to work that morning).

 

I wrote a letter and put it on the magazine that said "I never would have cheated on you as it's not my nature - I'm faithful and loyal to the man I'm with. Unfortunately your self-absorbed slimey ways lost me for good this time. So here is your porn mag and your lubricant - you will need this alot more now because you will never see or touch me again."

 

After he found this he called me over and over and left a message on my answering machine "Oh I'm soooooo sorry, I know how you feel, please forgive me - I love you so much". I never called him back. When I get the urge to go back to him I just replay that message.

 

He was a sorry loser like your guy but I had the priveledge of dumping him before he steamrolled over me. I'm still pissed though and reading your post felt good - couldn't have said it better myself!

[KaiaMahina]

Sinner...signs and portents? Hell, the Oracle of Delphi consulting the Magic 8 Ball couldn't have seen THIS one comin'! I had so much sunshine blown up my bottom that it glowed in the dark.

 

JulieBoolie, I laughed out loud for the first time in weeks reading your post! Yaaaahooooo! Ride 'im cowgirl, and dig them spurs in good and deep! Here's to all of us who have been dumped, kicked when we're down, and p****ed on -- may we get a chance to get a little of our own back and do it as well as JulieBoolie!

 

Yes, Sinner...it was out of the blue. Totally. And I've got pretty damn good intuition, not to mention a natural-born suspicious nature. This dude is either the greatest actor on the planet or he has one mean mamma-jamma case of the bipolar blues. I have a sneaking suspicion he could use a Prozac tablet the size of a hockey puck. And I'm just the one to jam it down his throat. With all the best intentions in the world, don't you know.

 

What, me bitter?!

[sinner]

That's very nasty. Your horrible situation reminds me of what one wag said about men and women:

 

A woman will occasionally fake an orgasm; a man-- an entire relationship.

[Mr Spock]

I LOVE that quote Sinner, it's in the water cooler somewhere....sharon stone?

 

 

I'm in a milder place than you both right now......I really did like the porno mag editing bit though. I must write these wonderful ideas down somewhere.

[sinner]

The "size" attack was a good one. Most men have no sense of humor below their belt. We're insecure souls.

 

By the way, Spock, this is way off topic but I commend you on your counsel to the pregnant 16 year old. Great posts, no preaching. You go, girl.

 

[Mr Spock]

Thanks Sinner.

[jw32802]

KaiaMahina

Wow so how long has it been and has he called?

[KaiaMahina]

Hey, JW.

 

It's been three weeks exactly today. And no, he hasn't called me. I can't even imagine that he would have the chutzpah to even attempt it. The last time I spoke with him (as I sat in my oh-so-private CUBICLE at work, spattering all the paperwork on my desk with genuine TEARS), he said to me "I hope it won't be long before I die, I don't want to be on the planet much longer." And that he loves me and would love me forever. Because it was simply tearing him apart to let me go, don't you know. While the idea of him being off the planet makes me feel like this

, the concept of him loving me forever and $4 will get me a mocha cappuccino at Starbuck's.

 

Everyone I have talked to about him says the same thing: he'll contact you. Even my therapist (yep, I have a therapist who does nothing but work on my "relationships" -- what a gig!) said, interrupting me in the middle of a helluva harangue, "It's not over. He's going to contact you, and then you'll have to decide if you want to work this out." She said this three times and said, "I don't know why, but I have this feeling..."

 

My friends, my sisters, my ex-husband (who happens to be the best friend I've ever had next to my mother) -- they all think this half-witted, melodramatic, self-absorbed limp d**k is going to have the guts to contact me. Honestly, I've been dumped twice in my life before, and each time the pathetic boob has come sniffing at my doorstep before too long. One of them just offered me a Lexus to come back and marry him. True story. But like I told my friend the other day, I always get what I want...when I don't want it anymore. There was a time I would have bought HIM a Lexus to take me back, but at this point I couldn't give a damn.

 

So...if my track record holds, this one will send some sort of poignant email, threatening to join the French foreign legion or jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, to test the waters. Personally, given his ultra-sensitive nature and his basic gutlessness when it comes to relationships, I truly doubt I'll ever hear a word from him. But IF I do, you can be sure it will be when I NO LONGER GIVE A S**T.

[jw32802]

I really feel for you, im glad you have all that support. I know its hard, mornings are my worst times, its like once you are doing fine, then morning comes and it all rushes back.

 

How long did it take for all these other guys to come back to you? Years??

Seems to always happen doesnt it?

[KaiaMahina]

Well, JW, the first guy who dumped me (kicked me out of his house and I moved cross country with NO job, NO friends and NO family near me) cut me loose in October. On December 22 (my birthday), I came home from a date to find 2 dozen long-stem red roses on my doorstep from You Know Who. He had dumped me once before and I immediately moved out, and he called me in a week and told me how miserable he was without me and that he'd made a BIG mistake. MY big mistake was going back to him to get dumped a second time!

 

Over the past 4 years he's been trying to get me to come back to him. Even after marrying someone else, having two children with her, and then divorcing her! He was anxious to my latest ex and I to break up so that I would come back to him. That'll be the day.

 

The second one dumped me and then IMed me at work a week later saying, "I'm miserable." Not having learned my lesson with the first one, I went back to him and HE dumped me a second time! Two years (yes, TWO YEARS) later he comes back looking for more and I told him to get lost. Left me a whiny email about how sorry he was to treat me the way he did which I didn't bother to answer.

 

Funny...I'm not hanging out with a guy I dumped two years ago, who ended up calling ME after almost one year. Strictly friends with benefits because, let's face it, why should I sit around alone while my ex-fiancee is surrounded by family and friends. No interest in a relationship with him, but it's a nice distraction.

 

So...bad pennies always turn up...sooner or later...

[aFighter]

I posted her nakkie pic to all her friends.

Probably a stupid thing to do but it made me feel better to hurt her at least a little like she hurt me.

 

I regret doing now though...

[KaiaMahina]

Well, afighter, I can't help but laugh to think of your ex's pic exposing her to the world! Face it, we're all a little vengeful. Most people only THINK of what they'd like to do.

 

Still, I've found that usually Fate hands you the perfect opportunity to turn the tables. You only have to be silent and patient. The day one of my exes called me at work (after dumping me TWICE) and literally begged me to come back to him was one of the best days of my life because I was able to say, "No, I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you any more." Didn't have to be mean, just had to be truthful. He's miserable and he got what was coming to him and I didn't engineer any of it. After I hung up, I laughed for about half an hour. Now he knows how it feels to want someone you can't have.

 

As for regretting what you did...we all have regrets.

[aFighter]

I heard from a mutual friend today that she didn't care. As I was told she put it "So what? I'm not exactly running for office or anything".

So I guess I didn't do as much damage as I thought. In a way i'm kinda glad, it was a stupid and petty thing to do.

My bad.

But hey, if we're not going to communicate anymore what does it matter, right

[perdida]

KaiaMahina,

Your words made me chuckle sinisterly...oh how I also wish my ex misery. There are people who say that when you don't wish them the best its cuz u never loved them for real....I don't believe that though. He did me wrong, so he deserves whatever is coming to him. I'm miserable and angry now and I also am a total loss at home but instead I sit in front of the computer screen like a zombie and zone out just thinking about all that I've been through. "Pace the place like a caged mountain lion with a taste for blood"--I loved this...good stuff...good analogy. "I hope that he looks back down the long, dark tunnel of his life and sees me as the last light he could have hoped for and lapses into total despair."---another thought that couldn't have been expressed any better.

 

And you hope he goes bald, but I on the other hand hope that my sexually addicted ex gets ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION at an early age (he's only 24)....hehehehe. That would be absolutely delightful!

[Tragedi67]

KaiaMahina,

Wow I love how you've put your rage into words. I unfortunately am a victim myself. My ex-husband left me for another woman who pretended to be my friend in the beginning but all the meanwhile she was &*cking my hubby! Another thing is I unfortunately run into the both of them because we all work for the same company. Oh how I'd love to beat her ass (i actually had a dream where i slammed her head into a wall a couple times!) or how I'd love to do something to the car which was once mine and his and she now thinks is hers. I unfortunately fell victim again to him trying to butter me up so he could get some cause she wasn't putting out enough. So I can totally relate. HOW I LONG FOR THE DAY WHEN KARMA WILL COME AND SCREW HIS LIFE UP!!

[KaiaMahina]

Perdida...Tragedie...girls, we are all in the same leaky boat!

 

Yesterday I got called into the boss's office and was told how "concerned" he is with my "spaciness" and all the stuff I've been screwing up because of my personal problem! I went into the ladies' and bawled my eyes out because, damn it, I have less than $1000 in savings, $200 in checking and bills up my ying-yang. I can't afford to lose my job because of that sorry sack of s**t!

 

It's his birthday on Sunday (curse the day!) and here are a few birthday wishes I have for HIM:

 

Being an accomplished guitarist, and making quite a bit of money giving lessons, the perfect gift would be if he were accosted by a posse of thugs who pulverized every bone in both of his hands with a ball peen hammer.

 

OR, given his delicate digestive system (because of his ultra-sensitive nature), perhaps he could use a couple of burly male nurses administering a battery acid enema. That should cure his condition of being full of s**t.

 

I have other scenarios designed for him which make the Spanish Inquisition look like a tupperware party. I am submerged in a TIDAL WAVE of insane fury!

 

Perdida, there are some mighty fine voodoo curses which are said to cause impotence. However, creative visualization is also an option. Just keeping thinking, "Limp, limper, limpest!" while visualizing his manly member! Let's face it, once that goes, they'r ready to commit suicide.

 

Also, Perdida, that blather that you couldn't be this angry and vengeful if you REALLY loved them is, as you indicated, a lot of crap. If you didn't love them, you'd shrug your shoulders and get on with life. It's LOVE that can turn to the bitterest hatred, not indifference. Once your love is betrayed, why shouldn't you be angry?!

 

Tragedie, girl, I feel for you! You weren't just done wrong, you were practically crucified! And to have to see him and your so-called "friend" at work must be pure hell. If I were you, I'd be slithering under that car and severing those brake lines faster than Ex-Lax through a goose. Or imagine the good times that would ensue if the steering wheel were to suddenly come off in his hands? Like the kid on the Simpson's says, "HA HA!"

 

Anyway, that good-for-nothing guitar plinker will be surrounded by his (loser)friends and his (loathesome) family on his birthday while I'm sitting alone and miserable, picking lint from between my toes. Too bad someone couldn't slip arsenic into the birthday cake batter and take the whole pack of them out all at once. The world would be a better place.

 

Aggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!