simplybrill Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 I broke up with the one guy I really loved and who understood me 2 years ago. I didnt talk to him for almost the whole two years due to the bad breakup we had. We've been exchanging friendly emails within the past week after all that time, and he drops the news on me that he's got a girlfriend and they've been together for a year. Needless to say, it hit me like a ton of bricks- when we were together I thought I could have married this guy. Im happy for him, really I am - its not like I expected us to get back together after all that time, nor did I expect him to be holding a torch for me or anything -- I just expected us to be the close friends we always were, and today I signed into my messenger (havent done that in 2 years either) on a whim, at work- and it made my heart sink a notch when his display name was basically a banner for their love, an anniversary announcement proclaiming their one year anniversary. To make matters worse, when I did talk to him, he was short with me- which was just awful! I mean he writes me these emails that are all 'happy to hear from ya, so glad you wrote' - and then its like once I actually get a chance to talk, he treats me like a stranger. He said that all the past grudges and ill feelings are water under the bridge now, so what gives, why am I getting the cold shoulder??? Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 I don't think he purposely gives you the cold shoulder, per say. You have to look at it from his perspective... You had a bad break up and two years later he's forgiven you and moved on. He has a special girl in his life now and she is now his best friend. His life has moved on and he doesn't have a need to have you for a close friend anymore. You've been there and done that and it's time for you to move on too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simplybrill Posted July 7, 2004 Author Share Posted July 7, 2004 Is it bad,,,for me to still want to be friends? I still care about him as a person, ugh. If it would have been anyone else I could have accepted all of this and 'moved on', its just not that simple. we had love. we were in love Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 I'm wondering…who emailed who first? By the sound of it, it seems as if you may have initiated contact. If *HE* was the first to contact you after two years…just to brag about his new girlfriend…then I would absolutely question his motives. It would then seem vindictive. He said that all the past grudges and everything was water under the bridge now, so what gives, why am I getting the cold shoulder??? Well, if you were the one who contacted him first, then it's because he's in love and doesn't want a past relationship to jeopardize his current one. It shows a lot of respect for his current girlfriend. I believe he has forgiven whatever happened between the two of you in the past … or at least moved on to a happier place in his life. I think, while trying to remain "polite" to you, he is seeking closure. He may even be aware that you are still holding a candle for him, and for the sake of his current relationship, he doesn't want to fan the flames. I know it stings, but for his sake and yours, you'll have to let go. One day you'll meet someone who makes you forget about all those past lost loves, too. Then you'll have a better understanding of where your ex-boyfriend is coming from. So sorry you felt hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
TommyGirl Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 Why did you break up with this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
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