PMS breakup?

[chupichulo]

Hi everyone, just joined today.

 

Here's my story.....

 

Been with a fantastic girl for three years....... but, we've broken up a number of times. I can usually convince her to continue.

Seems to me that this always happens right about the week before she has her period.

 

Now... I'm not saying that all the problems are down to PMS and I'm a saint. I understand how she might well feel insulted that I'm just trying to blame her hormonal cycle and not listening to what she says.....

 

but...

 

I've been exploring this issue on the net and it's very interesting to read that feeling your relationship is not working and it's time to finish is a common problem described by many women. Once the painters arrive, these women describe how they return to normal and start to think and feel completely different.

 

So, when my girlfriend says our relationship is not working and it's time to finish, I can't help thinking, here we go again. Maybe I should just leave you alone for a week or so and everything will be fine.

 

I welcome comments on these points...

 

when she says I'm wonderful and everything is hunky dory and then two weeks later she dumps me. That's PMS talking.

 

When I suggest to her that it might just be PMS (You did what???!!!!)

and she refuses to accept even the possibilty that it may be part of the problem. That also is a symptom of PMS.

 

This time it seems that we've broken up for good. I thought I could use my charms and talk her round again but it's been a week now and no go.

 

I've spent the last week in desperate pleading mode, flowers, chocolates.

I urge her to remember the good times we've had and not just focus on the bad, and when I say bad, I mean we don't go out together as often as we should because we're both busy people, real real bad, huh? but she seems to think it's all bad. Hmmm? PMS anyone?

 

Now we're in NC. After a week of getting nowhere, she doesn't want me to call. We've already talked, she says, and she remains adamant that it wasn't working. Well, says I, that's not what you said two weeks ago !

 

NC is for me to get over her, not to get her back. I get that. Obviously, I'm hoping that after a week or so, or longer, she will miss me and come back to me. Not too optimistic on that front because that would mean admitting I was right all along and she's a strong, STUBBORN woman.

 

I'm thinking after a period of NC, I can get in touch and see how she is with me. If she remains convinced that the breakup was a good idea even when the painters have been and gone, then that means there is no hope for us, and it's time for me to grow a pair and move on.

 

Just looking for comments or suggestions from any guys in the same boat, or any comments from women who feel their partner is the antichrist one week out of the month.

 

thanks for listening.

[Els]

Now, I understand completely how PMS can screw one's emotions over. But even though the girl's partner can be understanding, empathic, etc about it, at the end of the day it comes down to HER recognizing the patterns and at least trying to work with them. For the most part, girls just get a little weepy, emotional, and/or grumpy during that time. Breaking up with you every time her period comes near is reflective of much greater problems, IMO, either with the relationship or with her, or both.

 

I would personally opt for a less roller-coasterish R, in your place.

[Radu]

I suspect the same, that the relationship was not rosy for her or she had unrealistic expectations that kept her on the edge most of the times, and PMS just pushed her over the edge.

 

Here's another thought though, a huge red flag, never be with someone that utters the word 'break-up' or 'divorce' so carelessly, because that's the A-bomb of a relationship.

They could use this on you, to emotionally blackmail you to their point of view.

 

Let it be.