moodyblues Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 Greetings! I have been dating my boyfriend for seven months now. He gets jealous when I talk to other guys because he believes that guys only talk to girls that they want to sleep with, I guess. Most of these guys are in our pool league and are typically 20 years older than me, married, and fat. The thing is that I actually do have male friends, including two really close friends that I have had for 10 years. So talking to guys is not a big deal to me. In fact, pretty much all of my exes never had a problem with it either. I am a big girl and I know how not to put myself in situations and also how to bring up the "I have a boyfriend" line. I have tried to tell him on many occasions that I would never cheat on him, but it doesn't seem like he gets it. Well, we got into an argument last night because I felt like this girl was hitting on him and he was just going along with it. This was like our first real argument too. He doesn't think that it is fair that I expect him to not be jealous and then become jealous. I don't think its fair that he's allowed to be jealous and I am not supposed to be. Catch-22. I guess I am just kind of freaked out because I really hate arguments, and especially ones dealing with jealousy. I swear Aquarian men are so freaking strange! Anyway, mostly I just needed to vent, but all advice is welcome. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
echoparkdude Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 I'm gonna have to agree with your boyfriend...boys only talk to girls they want to sleep with. It's sad but it's true, ugly people get ignored. But that doesn't mean he should be so jealous. If you read the other threads on this issue, most people would agree that jealous has nothing to do with the other person. It's all personal and it has something to do with self-esteem, pessimism, self-defeating attitudes, and whatnot. That's my two cents, what do other people think. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 Echoparkdude, I totally disagree. I'm gonna have to agree with your boyfriend...boys only talk to girls they want to sleep with. It's sad but it's true, ugly people get ignored. If these guys are truly just friends and you were not involved with them romantically he should not say a word about it. Maybe if you get your boyfriend to get to know your guy friends he will feel more comfortable with it. However, if at any times there was a romantic involvement, your boyfriend, IMO has just cause to be upset with excessive contact. I think your boyfriend was giving you a bit of your own medicine by talking to this other girl. In fact, he just proved you right: guys don't ONLY talk to women because they want to sleep with them - unless of couse he DID want to sleep with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 Echoparkdude, I totally disagree. I'm gonna have to agree with your boyfriend...boys only talk to girls they want to sleep with. It's sad but it's true, ugly people get ignored. If these guys are truly just friends and you were not involved with them romantically he should not say a word about it. Maybe if you get your boyfriend to get to know your guy friends he will feel more comfortable with it. However, if at any times there was a romantic involvement, your boyfriend, IMO has just cause to be upset with excessive contact. I think your boyfriend was giving you a bit of your own medicine by talking to this other girl. In fact, he just proved you right: guys don't ONLY talk to women because they want to sleep with them - unless of couse he DID want to sleep with her. Link to post Share on other sites
DerangedAngel Posted July 7, 2004 Share Posted July 7, 2004 ...boys only talk to girls they want to sleep with. Oh dear. I've got a huge line waiting for me then. Come on, echo. That's ridiculous. -DA Link to post Share on other sites
Author moodyblues Posted July 7, 2004 Author Share Posted July 7, 2004 If these guys are truly just friends and you were not involved with them romantically he should not say a word about it. Maybe if you get your boyfriend to get to know your guy friends he will feel more comfortable with it. -Debster That is a little hard because both of my friends are in the Midwest (St. Louis and Detroit) while I am in the West. Great idea though and I know the one will come out for snowboarding with his girlfriend next winter, which is great because my boyfriend loves to snowboard. That guy I did have a fling with. Eight years ago. It was college. Nothing has happened since then and nothing will. The other guy and I never did anything with each other. Our friendship is more like bickering 8 year olds, which is a lot of fun, but I could never be with him because I would kill him (that and he is incredibly scrawny). Link to post Share on other sites
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