I Cant Trust Him!!

[fateX2]

hi...this is going to be long... im having such a problem trusting my boyfriend. we've been together for 5 years now and the problem has come up recently since i found out hed been going to strip clubs and bars with friends from work behind my back, i also found a huge bag in his car filled with about 50 porno magazines and DVDs!! it hurts so much until this i used to be the one that wasnt trused and no he makes no attempt to even hide when he is masturbating he says "can you get out for 5 minutes??" we have a child together and one on the way

 

i am a very pretty girl and he is a little overweight and insecure..i wonder if he thinks he isnt good enough for me so hes finding a way to destroy our relationship? all i know is that i cant trust him anymore and im always asking him where he is what hes doing i even count his money! i know it sounds bad and thats probably hurting our realationship just as much but i dont know what to do??? id like to work things out after all i am having ANOTHER child! what should i do!?!?

[Kasey70]

Hi fate, I'm sorry you're going through this. If you all don't have trust, then you don't have alot. However you can rebuild that trust over time if the 2 of you are willing to work things out. I know you would like to stay with him because you love him and have kids together, but if you were wanting to stay just for the kids sake, thats not a real reason to do so. I know people do it all the time but sometimes it does more harm than good. Maybe you should sit down with him and tell him how you feel and suggest counseling so you all can try and rebuild some trust. If hes not willing to go along with that, then I'm not sure what to tell you. It has to be your call anyway, no matter what advice people give you. Hope all works out.

[miz_barby]

Sorry but maybe you shouldn't be so controlling....counting his money?? Well actually I guess this isn't that controlling since you two live together *I assume* or am I wrong there? Anyway I think it's wrong for him to be spending money at strip clubs *if he does* when he's got mouth's to feed! I think a man should know his place and be at home with his woman/children but not everyone sees it this way.

 

I can kind of see where you would think he is trying to sabatoge the relationship due to his insecurities and if you feel this way you should try sitting down and talking to him about it. Let him know you love him and *if you wouldn't* that you would never cheat on him, if you feel he's cheating when he does these things *except masturbating since he's alone for this* then you should let him know. I wouldn't want my man spending money on some other sleeze taking her clothes off for all those men, nor would I want him looking and touching someone else either. My man understands this but if he didn't and wouldn't then I don't think I could be with him! Anyway good luck and I say just try and work it out....if he doesn't come around maybe you'll have to move on and find someone to cherish you.