Found messages..but there's a catch!

[theJakeFury]

Ok so, I've been dating this girl for about 8 months now. About 3 months in, I knocked her up. Soon after, we moved in together. Things went downhill quickly from there.

 

It started first with "I'm not a touchy feely person." Even though, all we would do before we moved in together was cuddle, kiss, talk romantically, have sex, etc. so I was off put by this remark, reasonably so. Then, oh and then it turned into things like, "Go have fun with your friends, I need my space", or "You're loading the dishwasher wrong, you f**king idiot!" It really seemed like she was taking every opportunity to put me down about absolutely ANYTHING! I played it off like it was just hormones.

 

So then one night she says, "This guy is messaging me on Facebook and won't stop." I reply, "You know, there isn't a rule that says you have to message him back." To which she says, "I know. I don't want to be mean though." Hmm. She had told me previously that she looks at Facebook while she was bathing. An odd place to do so, if you ask me. Once again I think, "Just acting crazy because she's pregnant."

 

Ok long story short, the current situation is we do not share the same resting place, we haven't had physical/intimate contact in a few months. Pretty much living like roommates besides the fact we communicate about out child and such.

 

Now, the other night she used my phone to check her Facebook because her phone is broken. The entire time I'm hoping she doesn't log out. Lucky me! I read the entire conversation log between her and this guy. To my surprise, she wasn't cheating. But what I find is just as bad. Apparently she has lost feelings for me even before she got pregnant. Telling this guy she is miserable and she was drunk most of the time we were dating. The reason she was being a heartless b@&$h was because she was trying to get me to leave so the break up wouldn't be on her. She wanted me to cheat on her but said she knew I wouldn't. The guy says, "Why don't you come stay with me, I can help you out." (exact words) Her reply was, "Haha! No. I don't want the break up to be my fault." He says, "I was kidding." She says, "Oh ok." That response just sent me sky high! Well I read another conversation between her a friend that we visited once (the trip I knocked her up on) and that explained to me that she was thinking about breaking up with me then.

 

Needless to say, this relationship would be better off if it didn't exist anymore. I guess my question is, how do I approach this without her knowing I snooped through messages? Sorry for the long story. You need to background to fully understand the predicament.

[chunkydunk]

i feel really sorry for you, quite a few out there would of run a mile as soon as they find out their partner is pregnant but you did,nt. i know this may be blunt and may hurt your feelings but you cannot force someone to love you and at least you have found out now instead of years down the line. the only option i can see from what you have said is to leave but stay in contact as its not the childs fault that his daddy isnt around. you can leave with your head held high knowing you did,nt cheat and leave her to what she wants to do. its not easy being on your own with a child to bring up but it looks as if that is what she wants and why put youself through years of misery. enjoy your life, you only have one go at it. you will find someone who will love you beyond compare and you may miss this person if you stay in the loveless relationship.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

You're still playing games.

 

What if she left her Facebook on intentionally, and wanted you to find those messages?

 

And now your next game move is trying to figure out a way to NOT let-on that you read them.

 

 

Stop playing games.

[skywriter]

Leave her a message on Facebook, stating, you got her message about not wanting to be the one to break up and what a "lady" she is.

Edited July 13, 2012 by skywriter

[veggirl]

Uh why don't you just say "we haven't been getting along for months. We need to break up."

[FryFish]

ask her why she has gotten so fat... Tell her that the fetus will weigh at most 10 lbs when its finished baking and ask her to explain why she let herself go so completely...

Seriously, she is a spineless cunt.

[Sebastian76]

What a f*****g monster you met!!! I am seriously shocked and feel so sorry for you my friend. Didn't have the imagination that people like her even existed. Please don't let this hurt your self esteem too bad. You don't feel bad if your lizard doesn't like you. See her like a reptile, because she is not more human than that.

 

Screw the pride of admitting that you snooped her fb. Tell her that you read it, feel very humiliated and besides that that it is over for good of course. With that out of the way you should start to focus on the baby. It is in the baby's interest that you two can stay civil. If she acts up, tell her that now it's time for her to think of what is best for the baby, not her or you. You must be on talking terms because the kid needs both parents. I can understand that you hate her, f*** I hate her after reading this, but is not about you anymore, it's about something more important than either of yours feelings.

 

Oh and by the way, don't be surprised if she tries to keep the baby from you, so save every piece of evidence about her actions/motivations for the courtroom. I would try to get screenshots of her FB communications (make sure she is using your computer so that it holds up in court). If you need to know the technical details of how to do it send me PM.

 

 

Best of luck, // Seb

Edited July 14, 2012 by Sebastian76