Is there a such thing as effeminate/camp straight men?

[punkybutterfly]

I might sound ignorant, but I'm legitimately confused about this guy I like. The effeminate/camp guys that I know are all gay. He's just...different.

 

I thought he might be gay because:

• Most of his friends are either girls or gay
  
• He's very much into fashion
  
• For the 3 years I've known him, he's never mentioned dating a girl
  

 

But if he is, then he's in the closet.

 

What confuses me is that he always talks about women he finds attractive(exotic women like Nicole Scherzinger) and even said he wanted to have babies with this one girl he met on Twitter. My other friends and I have also caught him checking out women. We were at a party and he got a pretty good peek up this girl's skirt.

 

He's also a big supporter of the LGBT community and pretty much every he knows, knows that he supports equal rights. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would be afraid to come out or keep it a secret. His family is really open minded.

 

Sometimes he jokingly flirts with his guy friends, and he and one of his straight friends have this thing where they pretend they're dating and make jokes like "you cheated on me!" or "I just can't be with you anymore."

 

But a lot of guys do that I think.

 

He has moments where he's incredibly campy, head tilting and hand waving included...usually when he's explaining something or excited about something, but other times he's not.

 

What do you guys think?

[pteromom]

?????

 

Could be gay.

 

Could be bi.

 

Could just hang around with gay guys so much, he has picked up traditionally gay mannerisms.

 

Why not ask him? I mean, if he's your friend, he certainly wouldn't be offended by "Hey, are you straight or gay?"

 

Just by what you've shared, I would guess he is gay. But I could be totally wrong.

[Feelin Frisky]

Gay. :cool:

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I might sound ignorant, but I'm legitimately confused about this guy I like. The effeminate/camp guys that I know are all gay. He's just...different.

 

I thought he might be gay because:

• Most of his friends are either girls or gay
  
• He's very much into fashion
  
• For the 3 years I've known him, he's never mentioned dating a girl
  

 

But if he is, then he's in the closet.

 

What confuses me is that he always talks about women he finds attractive(exotic women like Nicole Scherzinger) and even said he wanted to have babies with this one girl he met on Twitter. My other friends and I have also caught him checking out women. We were at a party and he got a pretty good peek up this girl's skirt.

 

He's also a big supporter of the LGBT community and pretty much every he knows, knows that he supports equal rights. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would be afraid to come out or keep it a secret. His family is really open minded.

 

Sometimes he jokingly flirts with his guy friends, and he and one of his straight friends have this thing where they pretend they're dating and make jokes like "you cheated on me!" or "I just can't be with you anymore."

 

But a lot of guys do that I think.

 

He has moments where he's incredibly campy, head tilting and hand waving included...usually when he's explaining something or excited about something, but other times he's not.

 

What do you guys think?

 

 

Bring up raunchy male-male porn perhaps of the sort which YOU {for this purpose pretend to} enjoy - if he doesn't balk at the very thought of it, then double your bets as to his being gay.

 

 

If he balks, then give up on the idea that he's gay.

[punkybutterfly]

?????

 

Could be gay.

 

Could be bi.

 

Could just hang around with gay guys so much, he has picked up traditionally gay mannerisms.

 

Why not ask him? I mean, if he's your friend, he certainly wouldn't be offended by "Hey, are you straight or gay?"

 

Just by what you've shared, I would guess he is gay. But I could be totally wrong.

 

Maybe you're right about him picking up the mannerisms, because the first year I knew him he wasn't camp at all and at that time he didn't have most of the gay friends he has now. Sometimes I wonder if he just does it to be goofy.

 

I guess I could just ask...I'm just really shy and awkward, and feel like I was being nosy. Though I'm sure that's the only way I'll ever know 100%. Just curious to see what other people think.

[punkybutterfly]

Bring up raunchy male-male porn perhaps of the sort which YOU {for this purpose pretend to} enjoy - if he doesn't balk at the very thought of it, then double your bets as to his being gay.

 

 

If he balks, then give up on the idea that he's gay.

 

Well me and my best friend did force him to watch The Bachelorette with us the other night...we literally sat on him after he complained that he didn't want to. He did seem pretty uninterested, but I don't know if that means anything.

 

I guess I could try the porn thing lol.

[FitChick]

I've noticed British guys are apt to be more camp. I think it's just more acceptable over there, especially when they are younger. It seems to be a phase some of them go through. American men, who are homophobic, not so much.

[Radu]

I think he's secretely shy.

 

Some of the stuff you mentioned is what i used to do [apart from the fashion sense ... still learning there], i did it for shock value and to make ppl think i wasn't shy.

It felt for me like removing all barriers and doing things seemed taboo.

 

Some ppl can also ... atune themselves fast to other ppl.

It's like they can morph to run in synch.

To give you an example, i had a guest come over from a region of my country with a very distinctive accent.

1 week later i had adopted some of his mannerisms and part of his accent [i love that accent].

I think that if i had moved over to that region for 1month, i would have fully adopted the accent.

I don't even do it consciously, it's like mirroring [from body language] done instinctively and to a different level.

 

Think back, if you saw him join this group of friends, did he seem initially like he was keeping his distance, observing ... ?

 

PS: The Bachelorette is not something i would call a test.

That show pisses me off something fierce, and i'm quite straight.

[punkybutterfly]

I think he's secretely shy.

 

Some of the stuff you mentioned is what i used to do [apart from the fashion sense ... still learning there], i did it for shock value and to make ppl think i wasn't shy.

It felt for me like removing all barriers and doing things seemed taboo.

 

Some ppl can also ... atune themselves fast to other ppl.

It's like they can morph to run in synch.

To give you an example, i had a guest come over from a region of my country with a very distinctive accent.

1 week later i had adopted some of his mannerisms and part of his accent [i love that accent].

I think that if i had moved over to that region for 1month, i would have fully adopted the accent.

I don't even do it consciously, it's like mirroring [from body language] done instinctively and to a different level.

 

Think back, if you saw him join this group of friends, did he seem initially like he was keeping his distance, observing ... ?

 

PS: The Bachelorette is not something i would call a test.

That show pisses me off something fierce, and i'm quite straight.

 

I'm not quite sure how he was when he joined that group of friends because he met them when he went on a tour of South America.

[punkybutterfly]

I've noticed British guys are apt to be more camp. I think it's just more acceptable over there, especially when they are younger. It seems to be a phase some of them go through. American men, who are homophobic, not so much.

 

It's funny that you mentioned the British thing. His grandparents on his moms side were English, and he's always talking about how he wished he lived in London. He's pretty much obsessed with everything that has to do with the UK.

[punkybutterfly]

Okay so I've kind of ruled his being camp as him being nervous or goofy because he usually only acts that way when he's in a bigger group setting.

 

I have another question though.

 

Yesterday a small group of us went to dinner, and we were sitting next to each other, and he kept touching my leg. He would lay his arm on my leg and then look at me and move away really quickly. He did it like 4 or 5 times. The whole evening we kept stealing glances at each other but each time he either looked down or at someone/something else.

 

Do you think he might like me too? He's so confusing lol.