Forgiveness

[eleanorhurting]

How do you deal with forgiving people who wronged you?

 

I think I have a lot of resentment and anger towards certain people of my life. I know God wants me to forgive them and I feel like I have tried but to be honest I feel like I can't. I am sure with time it will go away but I just cannot be OK with the people who hurt me.

[eleanorhurting]

But how do you stop feeling the hate and the resentfulness?

[mercy]

But how do you stop feeling the hate and the resentfulness?

 

We can't control what we feel. We can only control how we react to those feelings. Bitterness and anger only hurt you, the ones you're feeling those feelings towards go on with their lives.

 

I decide/choose to be kind to myself, to nurture myself. If I felt that any good would come from those feelings then I'd act on them. But at my age I realize that not once has bitterness resentment or hate ever brought me anything but mental, emotional and physical pain. And I refuse to do that to myself.

 

I give those people that have hurt me to God, to the universe, then I release myself and tend to me.

 

I also want to be forgiven so I allow forgiveness to come easy.

 

There have been a few times in my life that the pain, caused by others, I thought would literally kill me but time has been kind to me and moved me past the crushing pain and I go on. I don't believe that time heals all wounds but I do believe that time eases the pain.

 

Forgiveness is a gift I give myself it has nothing at all to do with another.

 

Anyway those twits aren't worth a second of my time be it positive or negative.

[iambookworm]

We can't control what we feel. We can only control how we react to those feelings. Bitterness and anger only hurt you, the ones you're feeling those feelings towards go on with their lives.

 

I decide/choose to be kind to myself, to nurture myself. If I felt that any good would come from those feelings then I'd act on them. But at my age I realize that not once has bitterness resentment or hate ever brought me anything but mental, emotional and physical pain. And I refuse to do that to myself.

 

I give those people that have hurt me to God, to the universe, then I release myself and tend to me.

 

I also want to be forgiven so I allow forgiveness to come easy.

 

There have been a few times in my life that the pain, caused by others, I thought would literally kill me but time has been kind to me and moved me past the crushing pain and I go on. I don't believe that time heals all wounds but I do believe that time eases the pain.

 

Forgiveness is a gift I give myself it has nothing at all to do with another.

 

Anyway those twits aren't worth a second of my time be it positive or negative.

 

Exactly!

 

I too have been wronged recently. I could have retaliated and ruined his life. I have to admit, I thought a lot about it. I mean revenge is too sweet. One action and he could lose his job, his wife, the respect of his children, and any hope of every getting a job again.

 

But I thought, why would I do that? Revenge? That is not something that is acceptable to me. And I knew that the more I thought about it, the more it was eating me up inside. And the more I felt depressed.

 

So I let go. I am changing myself and praying to God for emotional healing. That is something I can control. Myself. I cannot change him. I can only change myself. And I feel better about everything. I am slowly healing. And I know it would have taken longer if I had exacted revenge.

 

For now, I am leaving it to God to handle this. I have forgiven him. I am healing myself. And that is the important thing, right?

 

That we begin the healing. That we let go of the negativity? Like a pus that needs to be pierced to let all the poison out.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

[eleanorhurting]

I recently ended a friendship because I could not deal with the resentment I held toward this person

 

I feel like as much as I tried, I resented her very much for things she did to me and things her friends (one of which is someone I dated in the past who hurt me very much) did to me.

 

she said that I am a grudge holder and a hater

 

and maybe its true.

 

But I just could not deal

 

How am I supposed to be friends with someone who betrayed me?

[TheFinalWord]

How do you deal with forgiving people who wronged you?

 

I think I have a lot of resentment and anger towards certain people of my life. I know God wants me to forgive them and I feel like I have tried but to be honest I feel like I can't. I am sure with time it will go away but I just cannot be OK with the people who hurt me.

I recently ended a friendship because I could not deal with the resentment I held toward this person

 

I feel like as much as I tried, I resented her very much for things she did to me and things her friends (one of which is someone I dated in the past who hurt me very much) did to me.

 

she said that I am a grudge holder and a hater

 

and maybe its true.

 

But I just could not deal

 

How am I supposed to be friends with someone who betrayed me?

 

That's a good question. I'll tell what I do First, I don't think it's always easy. People can really hurt and betray us.

 

But I think there is a difference between forgiving people and befriending them after they betrayed you. The former is for your benefit, the latter is a natural protection mechanism to prevent them from hurting you again.

 

Confidence has to be earned, it is not freely given. One thing that has to happen to reconcile a friendship is for both to recognize they contributed. For her to say you are a "hater" or whatever, shows she is not willing to admit she contributed. That has to come first. Often the other person won't do that so reconciliation becomes impossible. If they don't give you that, you can still forgive them though. Reconciliation is forgiveness from both sides.

 

Here is what I do (now this is mainly from a Christian perspective).

 

1) If they are un-saved, I often forgive people on that alone. They are living outside of the truth. They aren't aware of reality and so I forgive them due to their ignorance (no offense to non-believers).

 

The same way Christ did (6:30 into clip **Kind of GRAPHIC**):

 

 

2) I consider others who were able to forgive under much harsher conditions than the injustice brought on me:

 

 

3) I think about all of the things I am forgiven for and how often I mess up. Also, unforgiveness hinders our ability to walk with God.

 

Do Yourself a Favor Forgive Part 1 Joyce Meyer - YouTube

 

Joyce Meyer was molested by her father, and later baptized him!!!

 

Holding a grudge is easy and very natural. Loving our enemies is very hard sometimes, but when we do so we allow God to remedy the situation. He becomes our defense and our shield. As long as we hold the grudge we are telling God not to interfere, that we will handle it. It is better to let God handle people. In doing so we become wiser than our enemies b/c they are using carnal methods to seek justice. By forgiving we recognize that we only have limited knowledge; God knows everything about that other person. He can change their heart, or if they are corrupt He can pull them out of power.

 

O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day. Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies: for they are ever with me.

I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my meditation.

I understand more than the ancients, because I keep thy precepts.

I have refrained my feet from every evil way, that I might keep thy word.

Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.

Edited July 16, 2012 by TheFinalWord