phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Reading skills lacking this morning? Please read my response in that thread before passing judgement. I'm sorry but if you think "I think there are all kinds of men out there. I couldn't imagine a single one of my exes being interested in an "intellectually disabled" women, not even for a one night stand." is equal to the broad brush comments you make about men & feminism in this thread & other's you are delusional. 1
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I haven't even posted on that thread! Exactly. It's a thread basically saying men only care about looks & not brains and it's no more degrading to men than this post is to women & yet you only comment on this thread defending women not the other defending men. how does that make that any different than the op? It doesn't. 1
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Now that's worth a ROTFLMAO! arrogance much? This was Kamille's response in that thread: yeah. not quite the blanket statement she makes in threads started about women now is it?
Kamille Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 The real reason: girls have a much lower sex drive than guys. You know - perhaps. When we're premenstrual, women's testosterone levels spike to about what men have at all times. Since my last spike had me simultaneously feeling angry at the world and sexually frustrated, I can sympathize with what single and sexually frustrated men go through. It doesn't change the fact that women have a sex drive and that for 1-2 weeks of the month, it is as strong as men's. The difference, at least for me, is that I'm not guaranteed an orgasm by mere virtue of finding someone who'll have sex with me. 2
Kamille Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I'm sorry but if you think "I think there are all kinds of men out there. I couldn't imagine a single one of my exes being interested in an "intellectually disabled" women, not even for a one night stand." is equal to the broad brush comments you make about men & feminism in this thread & other's you are delusional. Please point me in the direction of said previous broad brush comments. I can always learn how to better communicate my understanding of social life.
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 That's irrelevant. If one woman says something disagreeable, then all women must agree and all women will defend all other women at all times in the EPIC BATTAL against men. Incidentally this is the same reason why some men think all women have it easy. They're incapable of seing individuals - just an amorphous blob with boobs and a vagina. And I don't understand why they don't get this.
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Please point me in the direction of said previous broad brush comments. I can always learn how to better communicate my understanding of social life. LULZ. the famous "prove it" response. without actually addressing what I said. LOVE IT!
Kamille Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 LULZ. the famous "prove it" response. without actually addressing what I said. LOVE IT! Go goad someone else into a gender-based flame war. Oh Kettle!
Bob_Funk Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 You know - perhaps. When we're premenstrual, women's testosterone levels spike to about what men have at all times. Since my last spike had me simultaneously feeling angry at the world and sexually frustrated, I can sympathize with what single and sexually frustrated men go through. It doesn't change the fact that women have a sex drive and that for 1-2 weeks of the month, it is as strong as men's. The difference, at least for me, is that I'm not guaranteed an orgasm by mere virtue of finding someone who'll have sex with me. Like most women, you're vastly underestimating men's drive: Personality and Social Psychology Review It's laughable that we need studies now to prove things that used to be common sense.
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 i'm really a gender-biased troll trying to goad you into a gender-based flame war fify when your ready to step down off that pedestal & start defending both men & women equally then you actually have a defense against what I've said. But we both know that won't happen anytime soon. so Instead of more useless back & forth that you so seem to enjoy i'm taking my leave & giving you the last word. Make that pat on your back a good one! :lmao:
Kamille Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Like most women, you're vastly underestimating men's drive: Personality and Social Psychology Review It's laughable that we need studies now to prove things that used to be common sense. I guess that supports Hokie's and my subsequent point. Men and women define "success" in dating differently. I may get approached, but am more likely to be on the look out for relationship material and less interested in just getting it on. So, where does that leave us: does it mean women don't have it easier?
Kamille Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 fify when your ready to step down off that pedestal & start defending both men & women equally then you actually have a defense against what I've said. But we both know that won't happen anytime soon. so Instead of more useless back & forth that you so seem to enjoy i'm taking my leave & giving you the last word. Make that pat on your back a good one! :lmao: Thank you! It's very kind of you to offer me the last word. I can take it with confidence since I know none of your accusations stand muster. 1
dasein Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) Women have it easier in dating generally in U.S. culture due to transitional social and cultural factors associated with the sexual revolution, cheap and relatively effective birth control, women as a large easily swayed voting bloc on the left, etc. Most specifically, conventions of the past that benefit women are still in place with no commensurate balancing expectations of the past. Won't speak to elsewhere than the U.S. This is balancing out in time, but in the here and now, gives a very lopsided appearance. Children today, for the most part, won't grow up in such a social structure. This kind of thread is a candidate for a merged thread. And of course the usual contingent here is not interested in equality expressed in certain other threads, it wouldn't comport with their moremoremoremememe agenda. Feminist "equality" is indeed an interesting "concept." Edited July 16, 2012 by dasein
bac Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Few hours after she went single, she told us that 3 guys had asked her out and she was laughing at it. meanwhile..... i know few decent looking guys who have never pulled gals. We are all in late teens, I see the situation much easier for men. A girl was asked out only by 3 guys. And, she rejected all of them. She cannot control the situation because she chooses only from the guys who want her. The end result is that she is single. Any man can ask out as many girls as he wants. The number of the girls is unlimited because he is a man who is expected to take initiative. And, he is rejected by every 1 of 10 girls. The end result depends on his initiative.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Eh, any woman who is still trying to date in her 30's has obviously made some mistakes. Mistakes like completing her education? Traveling the world and having adventures? Waiting to make a lifelong commitment until she felt ready for that? Or until she met a person with whom she believed that was possible? Getting to know what her true priorities and values are? SD, that is just an ignorant thing to say. So many women of my generation did not even consider getting married before about 30. I hope that is carrying on today. People should not be marrying just because they want to be married and somebody asks them. Recipe for failure. 1
Bob_Funk Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I see the situation much easier for men. A girl was asked out only by 3 guys. And, she rejected all of them. She cannot control the situation because she chooses only from the guys who want her. The end result is that she is single. Any man can ask out as many girls as he wants. The number of the girls is unlimited because he is a man who is expected to take initiative. And, he is rejected by every 1 of 10 girls. The end result depends on his initiative. Please tell me you're trolling. Rejected by only 1 in 10? Try 999 in 1000. Yes, those are the kind of numbers an average guy has to put up if he wants to get with an average girl.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 arrogance much? yeah. not quite the blanket statement she makes in threads started about women now is it? I have to wonder what you think you've seen around here. Kamille SO does not come off as arrogant. She is intelligent and insightful. Knowing something and saying what that is does not equal arrogance. And making blanket statements - she doesn't. Hallucinate much? 1
carhill Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 So, one the one hand, we have a man who approaches women, accepts rejections and acceptances, and assesses women's approaches On the other, we have a woman who assesses men's approaches and chooses amongst those who approach, in addition to having the freedom to ask out any man she chooses. She may or may not avail herself of that freedom. It's her choice. If she does, she then becomes one of the approaches the man assesses. While other men's experiences may differ markedly, I personally have never been approached by a woman and my rejection to acceptance stats range closer to 9 out of 10 approaches were rejections. That said, I managed to have LTR's and be married for a decade. At the OP's age, that rejection rate was 10 for 10. So, OP, you have some basis for the advice I provided prior. When you get to be my age, you'll understand it completely. Live a full life. You only have one shot. 1
Kamille Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 I can be arrogant too! But he's clearly got me confused with some imagined enemy. (And thanks for all the other compliments ).
zengirl Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) It's all a matter of perspective. Many men associate dating and relationships with sex, so if you can have sex, then you are successful at dating and relationships. Since they perceive that women can get sex almost effortlessly, then they conclude that women have it easier with dating and relationships. It's a valid conclusion based on the man's perspective. On the other hand, many women will associate dating and relationships with commitment that leads to marriage and kids. If you find a good man who can provide both support and excitement in your life, then you are successful. However, that's a very arduous task, especially in the modern dating environment. So it's a valid belief from women that they don't have it easier than men. I'm surprised the thread didn't end there, really. Yes, women can get sex more easily. No, women do not generally consider that dating success, as they are socialized not to do so, and the few women who DO view that as 'success' and flaunt their sexuality are often socially criticized, by men and women. But I've yet to meet many women who did not think long and hard about dating and relationships and feel they were unsuccessful at those things when they were single, regardless of their ability to get sex. I've met a few, but I've met a few unconventional men as well. The conventional sense is a woman's success in dating is measured by her ability to get men to commit to her and stay with her, often consummating with marriage (though the push for marriage is changing, thankfully). Honestly, I think many men measure Rs that way, but not all, and I think there tends to be more ebb and flow in male thinking and yes, more value placed on sex, again due to socialization. I would not say that's necessarily 'easier' for men to get a committed R. I think it's easy for some men and easy for some women and hard for some men and hard for some women. I do envy men sometimes and think they have more 'control' over the situation than many women - mainly because we socialize men to lead in that process and women to follow, for better or worse. A man who is a poor leader will have more challenges than a woman who is a poor leader in that process, but a man who is a poor follower will have less challenges than a woman who is a poor follower in that process. Of course a man or a woman with something ELSE to offer can more easily buck their socialized role. Luckily today, there are more means for people to have balanced roles, rather than one "Passive" (ETA: which I'd really call more Reactive/Following) and one Active. But I think when people say women have it easier, they're either referring to the 'sex' issue that Hokie covered or generally referring to "women have the default Passive role" and they're generally people who wish they could have that role. However, sometimes a great deal of energy and technique and frustrating is expended in the passive role, frankly. Personally, I find the active role more comfortable, and I'd never call it "less easy" but that's my natural mode. I hate playing a passive role! Edited July 16, 2012 by zengirl 2
phineas Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 (edited) Mistakes like completing her education? Traveling the world and having adventures? Waiting to make a lifelong commitment until she felt ready for that? Or until she met a person with whom she believed that was possible? Getting to know what her true priorities and values are? SD, that is just an ignorant thing to say. So many women of my generation did not even consider getting married before about 30. I hope that is carrying on today. People should not be marrying just because they want to be married and somebody asks them. Recipe for failure. and in come the troops! From earlier in this thread: That's irrelevant. If one woman says something disagreeable, then all women must agree and all women will defend all other women at all times in the EPIC BATTAL against men. Incidentally this is the same reason why some men think all women have it easy. They're incapable of seing individuals - just an amorphous blob with boobs and a vagina. I think this is best post in this thread & not a single woman or man even commented on it. Why? Speaks volumes. Edited July 16, 2012 by phineas
somedude81 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 The main belief behind this concept is that few men actually think that women have any dating issues at all. The most common 'dating problem' I see from women on here, is that her people picker is way off and she got into a relationship with a scumbag, and doesn't know what to do because she "loves him so much." Other common threads are, "We had sex on the first date, does he think I'm a slut." And also, "I cheated, I feel like a slut, can I keep this to myself?" BTW, the answers are. He's trash dump him. Yes he thinks your a slut, don't have sex so soon. You're a whore for cheating, tell him so he can dump your ass.
bac Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Yes, those are the kind of numbers an average guy has to put up if he wants to get with an average girl. I doubt that the guy who asked out 999 girls and was rejected by all of them is average. 1
somedude81 Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 Oh, I forgot that women also make a lot of FWB threads and she's fallen for the guy and wondering if he's going to fall for her. The answer is most likely, no. Don't have sex with somebody you're not in a relationship with.
zengirl Posted July 16, 2012 Posted July 16, 2012 The main belief behind this concept is that few men actually think that women have any dating issues at all. The most common 'dating problem' I see from women on here, is that her people picker is way off and she got into a relationship with a scumbag, and doesn't know what to do because she "loves him so much." Other common threads are, "We had sex on the first date, does he think I'm a slut." And also, "I cheated, I feel like a slut, can I keep this to myself?" BTW, the answers are. He's trash dump him. Yes he thinks your a slut, don't have sex so soon. You're a whore for cheating, tell him so he can dump your ass. There are certainly some single women on here who can't find anyone (I could name at least half a dozen off-hand). A lot of them are a bit older (makes sense, with how dating ages skew), but they're still women. I'd say there are quite a few single women who are looking without success -- they don't post the same kinds of threads as you do, but that's a socialization issue in terms of how women and men are taught to communicate about such things.
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