Top 5 regrets when dying

[Eternal Sunshine]

This is an interesting article written by a palliative care nurse about her patients:

 

 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

 

 

2. I wish I didn't work so hard

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

 

 

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

 

 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

 

 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

 

[Els]

These are remarkably close to the principles that I always try to live by. Seeking happiness for myself and trying to bring happiness to the people I love are the primary goals of my life. After all, what is the purpose of everything else - career, money, relationships, hobbies, etc, but for that? The first point (not living the life others expect of you) is probably the toughest IMO, and the one I struggle with the most, but I think being able to do so is paramount to happiness.

 

Fortunately, I'm in my mid-20s, so I hope I won't have those regrets when I'm in a nursing home.

[USMCHokie]

6. I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life on LS.

[Eternal Sunshine]

6. I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life on LS.

 

I am already saying that one and I am not even dying yet

[Robert Z]

This is an interesting article written by a palliative care nurse about her patients:

 

 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

 

 

2. I wish I didn't work so hard

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

 

 

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

 

 

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

 

 

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

 

 

 

1. Big giant megamondo check. I am making the most of the time I have left be it 2 years or 30.

 

2. Uh oh, superduper no check. But you can't get anywhere in life by sitting still. And I have an expensive lifestyle.

 

3. Ha ha, like that's a problem for me! Way past that one.

 

4. I got in touch with old friends and was mostly sorry I did. No going home again. Pure fantasy.

 

5. I finally did it. I was so screwed up by my family in my early adult years that it took me forever to understand how screwed up my marriage was. I got some things right and have corrected most of the rest.

[Crusoe]

Every choice you make and every path you follow has consequences. Your history always catches up with you and in the darkest moments, when self pity takes hold, there will be regret.

 

I know men that didn't work hard who regreted not having anything to leave his family. I know people that chased their dreams and lived for their own happiness who regreted not living more for others. I know people who expressed their feelings wished they had left things unsaid.

 

There will always be something to regret.