balla88 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 You can give her a call, or send a text asking her to hang out. Coffee is fine. Dinner is fine too. Something like that. Maybe a frozen yogurt run, go downtown, etc. Umm...I guess that's a little more notice than typical. I'm not really sure. It might be kind of weird if you delete your account and she were to notice. she might think you're taking things way faster than she may be. As you said, she may be talking to multiple guys. As for telling her you're the only one you're talking to..I'm not sure...if that's a good idea or bad. well i ask cuz the way it is now, theres no reason for me to pay 100 bux to be on the site if im not using it.. what would she think if i just say like yea i was on the free trial and ive just kinda been ignoring everybody else except you so im probably gonna cancel. (this way it seems like i have other options, im just choosing her) in terms of her thinking that im taking things faster, she is clearly showing wayyyyyy more interest than i am right now. shell like leave off the convo, "im about to do such and such, text me later"- and then shell always text first. plus she responds about 5x quicker than i do.. she compliments me alot, and weve sent like 100 lengthy texts in 2 days (which in my experience is a lot, idk about online dating tho) all propelled by her.. and as i said-- she was the one who asked me to hang out. even with all this you think offering to pick her up is a bad idea? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Not sure which site you are on but if you are paying, you can cancel right before they automatically renew. To play it safe, do it two days before. You don't have to delete your profile. Just stop logging in. She will see that you have been inactive but haven't taken down your profile either. Link to post Share on other sites
balla88 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Not sure which site you are on but if you are paying, you can cancel right before they automatically renew. To play it safe, do it two days before. You don't have to delete your profile. Just stop logging in. She will see that you have been inactive but haven't taken down your profile either. yeah i get that.. and thats def the least that im going to do.. id like to remove it completely though (im a little embarassed to be on at such a young age -_- lol).. from a girls perspective, what would you think if the guy told you basically that hes not really using match at all and figures he might as well take his profile down since hes canceling the trial anyways (obviously id keep texting her)? like i said, she seems to be extremely interested and initiated the date, so i think that gives me a little bit of leeway.. i doubt she would take from that that im a huge creep or anything (although i am probably gonna tell her that im ignoring everyone else besides her). im not making it seem like im crazy about her, just that i dont have time to waste on more than 1 and i already got my top choice Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Take it down if you like but don't say anything. She may notice or not, and ask you about it or not. If she does ask, say you didn't see the point in keeping it up since you met her. Link to post Share on other sites
balla88 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Take it down if you like but don't say anything. She may notice or not, and ask you about it or not. If she does ask, say you didn't see the point in keeping it up since you met her. might that scare her away more than explaining my real reasons? she might notice it on her own and be like, wow this guy already thinks were together after we just started talking Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Sorry, I didn't realize you hadn't met. Tell her your three day free trial is up so she shouldn't try to contact you via the website, just your personal email or phone. I'm just wondering if she is a shill, trying to get you to sign up and pay. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Did not read all the replies but the first 8 pages showed me it was a good thing I dont do OLD anymore...all the men are just conniving little liars who just want a lay Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Did not read all the replies but the first 8 pages showed me it was a good thing I dont do OLD anymore...all the men are just conniving little liars who just want a lay And all the guys on there who want real relationships are ugly losers. Of course. Link to post Share on other sites
balla88 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Sorry, I didn't realize you hadn't met. Tell her your three day free trial is up so she shouldn't try to contact you via the website, just your personal email or phone. I'm just wondering if she is a shill, trying to get you to sign up and pay. is there such a thing? is it like a computerized thing or what? and i would highly doubt it, she gave me her number in the 2nd email, and already set up a date with me Link to post Share on other sites
trevzilla Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 And all the guys on there who want real relationships are ugly losers. Of course. Yeah, wtf, my intention was only for a long term relationship, talk about generalizing. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 is there such a thing? is it like a computerized thing or what? and i would highly doubt it, she gave me her number in the 2nd email, and already set up a date with me Not computerized. Some people work for the dating website and try to get guys to become paid subscribers. Then once you subscribe they disappear. Cancel immediately and see what happens. You have nothing to lose at this point. Let us know what happens and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
this is 40ish Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Amen. As a woman who has online dated on and off, there are a number of signs which freak you out. A guy who emails you multiple times in a day (but you've never met) Someone who clearly cuts and pastes their 'hey cutey' response Someone who sends you a note which doesn't ask any questions Someone who can't spell at ALL Also, don't ever text someone who you've never met. Its weird and feels very stalker-ish to be on the receiving end. If someone sends me a note, I guess its because he wants to know more about me.. which means 'ask a question!!!'. I do the same when I am reaching out to a guy - its because I want to know more. If someone doesn't response within - say 3 days - I move on. He clearly doesn't want to know anything about me. Anything else is just head games. Link to post Share on other sites
this is 40ish Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Totally refreshing to read as a woman (41). My friends and I who have tried online are all 7/8s and just get played. So now we're not dating at all....which kind of sucks, but hard to meet guys unless its through work or at the gym (ugh). Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 We looking for single men and women to participate in a pilot program. For more information please visit the link below: http://i1311.photobucket.com/albums/...ps9e44962d.jpg Note: This is not a TV show. Really? You want to see resumes? Link to post Share on other sites
trevzilla Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Not computerized. Some people work for the dating website and try to get guys to become paid subscribers. Then once you subscribe they disappear. Cancel immediately and see what happens. You have nothing to lose at this point. Let us know what happens and good luck! match.com is being sued for doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
w.halliwell66 Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 is any one interested:love: Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I got an email from a man whose username was 'whippet.' Now, when I think of a whippet, I think of a sleek, beautiful dog fast on its feet and graceful. The only thing this guy had in common with a whippet was his fur covered face. His user name should have been I_Am_The_Walrus. Goo goo ga joooob! Link to post Share on other sites
flopply hat Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I joined a dating site, seemed a good idea at the time. Chatted to a few and clicked a little with three. One I like a lot so agreeded to give him a text. Every thing fine there, he's not over bearing and seems to have taken note of my profile 'friends first'. Second one seemed friendly and asked me to text then he asked if he could call as he really would like to meet me. We chatted and I agreeded to meet him this coming Saturday. The conversation went on and i realised that I could not meet this man. Question (because I'm not used to dating) how do I get out of it? 1. I thought, Close the site down, he doesn't know who I am or where I live. (coward in me) 2. This was my sons idea...turn up and be horrible i.e. tatty clothes, no make up, unwashed hair, chain smoke and drink the wine out of the bottle (my son has a wicked streak). 3. Tell him I have changed my mind and I'm very sorry. I have a feeling he will probably start crying. I could message on site or text or be really brave and call him. What do i say? Any ideas welcome. 4. Still meet with him and tell him that I don't want to meet again. This is least appealing to me, second to my sons suggestion. What is acceptable and least cruel in the long run? Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Just flake out. Text him right away, say you can't make it after all, and then ignore any further attempts at contact. All you owe him is enough lead time to not screw up his schedule. Link to post Share on other sites
TaserTag Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 If you got a weird feeling or don't want to meet the guy for whatever reason, I wouldn't meet him in person to try to let him down. I would just message him through the original site as soon as possible and tell him you can't make it and aren't interested in meeting up. Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 I joined a dating site, seemed a good idea at the time. Chatted to a few and clicked a little with three. One I like a lot so agreeded to give him a text. Every thing fine there, he's not over bearing and seems to have taken note of my profile 'friends first'. Second one seemed friendly and asked me to text then he asked if he could call as he really would like to meet me. We chatted and I agreeded to meet him this coming Saturday. The conversation went on and i realised that I could not meet this man. Question (because I'm not used to dating) how do I get out of it? 1. I thought, Close the site down, he doesn't know who I am or where I live. (coward in me) 2. This was my sons idea...turn up and be horrible i.e. tatty clothes, no make up, unwashed hair, chain smoke and drink the wine out of the bottle (my son has a wicked streak). 3. Tell him I have changed my mind and I'm very sorry. I have a feeling he will probably start crying. I could message on site or text or be really brave and call him. What do i say? Any ideas welcome. 4. Still meet with him and tell him that I don't want to meet again. This is least appealing to me, second to my sons suggestion. What is acceptable and least cruel in the long run? Why dont you want to meet him? Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Why dont you want to meet him? This is what I'm wondering 1 Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 Because honestly in online dating scenarios men and women get rejected all of the time. It's not cruel if he is a complete stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
Wesker Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 Doing the same profile, same message with different pics (1 with a decent looking dude, the other with average looking) experiment; I'll safely state that it's always been, and always will be about looks. Zero responses from the average looking profile, with a little bump in salary. Compared with quite a few responses from the decent looking guy profile, with a little dip in salary. Doesn't really matter how bland, or written a profile is; or how well written a message is. If you're not Mr. Super Model Dude, forget about it. Of course this was with one of the free sites, but I can't imagine it being any different being a paid subscriber. Link to post Share on other sites
Esoteric Elf Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 If you flake out or text him saying that you couldn't make it, he may turn out to be one of those stalker guys and make trouble for you. Tell him you are a guy who was making an experimental girl's profile; he won't stalk that. Edit: Never mind; it seems that he has heard your voice already... Link to post Share on other sites
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