FitChick Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 What a difference a new photo makes! I got my hair cut yesterday and my hairdresser styled it in a totally different way that looked sexy and feminine. I went home and took a picture and posted it. I got so many more views and messages. So guys, you need to do the same. Constantly change your photos so you seem like the new guy on the block and at least women will look at your profile. Maybe get a new hairstyle, too! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 One thing I have heard a lot about online dating is that there are lot more men than women on the websites. I have always been a little sceptical of this claim. Does anyone actually have any proof that this is the case, or is it just from anecdotal evidence? I am a data collecting geek and it's about 3:1 depending on site, age, location, that kind of stuff but there are other factors as well. Some areas and ages will be 5:1 and then when you do searches by body type (say, athletic girls to athletic guys) you end up with 10:1. Now, I know that what people put in their body type/profile isn't always* the truth but I doubt there's a much larger percentage of men lying about that stuff vs. women. Suffice to say if you are an 18-30 year old guy you need to take very very good pics and have a good profile description in order to set yourself apart from the other guys. Good pics are smiling portrait, out and about with friends, and an activity pic. Good lighting, well dressed when out with friends, look like a badass doing whatever activity you have, portrait pic needs to be pro quality. If you are camera-clueless put out an ad on craigslist, backpage, or some photo junky forum saying you need help with online dating pics. You will get a film student with a high quality camera to do it for 50$ and they will have many more photo ideas than you will to boot. Some guys can get away with a bathroom mirror pic, some guys have ultra low standards and will screw anything, but for most guys the above applies. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 If I read "Life is for the living" one more time, I'll scream! It's amazing how so many people write paragraphs that say nothing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happykat Posted February 25, 2013 Share Posted February 25, 2013 If I read "Life is for the living" one more time, I'll scream! It's amazing how so many people write paragraphs that say nothing. Ha ha! same goes with -- "I work hard to play hard", "Live life to the fullest", "I want I woman that likes to have fun" blah blah blah.. I like to respond that fun is very overrated.. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 (edited) I'm not sure if this should have it's own thread or if I should post it here. So I get an email from OKCupid with my "quiver match" or whatever it is. I've been staying from OLD for a little while but occasionally I click on the emails just to see what's up. One of the matches was a girl I used to go to school with (I haven't seen her for 7 years or so) who used to date a friend of mine (not a good friend, just a "sometimes" friend, if you know what I mean). She seems interesting, and did seem interesting when I went to school with her, I just never had the occasion of talking to her or anything beyond the usual superficial "hi how are you?" kind of thing. Is there a proper way to go about messaging her? Or should I avoid it? Edited February 27, 2013 by fortyninethousand322 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted February 27, 2013 Share Posted February 27, 2013 Perfect opportunity. Say something like "Come here often?" Then say what a pleasant surprise it was to recognize her because online dating is generally a nightmare. That way it gives her an opportunity to agree and maybe want to get to know you better. Or disagree, which tells you she has a lots of options. Ask to get together to discuss old times, whatever happened to so-and-so, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Online dating is an oxymoron. TANTAM (= there are no trolls at Meetups!) Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Its another great way to meet people that you would probably never meet, I've had a couple successful relationships from online and I'm talking with someone from online and it seems to be going very well at the moment Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Ive had nothing but a positive experience with OLD. dated many women. always good dates. they always wanted a 2nd date, but most didnt fit what I wanted but met some nice women. great experience. there are no rules imo and thats why I was successful. I didnt play games. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Keep in mind that the orange haired freak who shot up the theater in Colorado had an OLD profile. Just sayin'. As for me, seven years OLD with no luck. Met my man thru more conventional means last February, and am getting married in May! OLD: a lot of really jaded, bitter people, playing games. Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Keep in mind that the orange haired freak who shot up the theater in Colorado had an OLD profile. Just sayin'. I hope this was said in jest because there are plenty of crazies out there that don't have OLD profiles Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I hope this was said in jest because there are plenty of crazies out there that don't have OLD profiles Actually, it's true. And yes, there are crazy, not crazy, and every type of person in between out there. Dating online or any other way there is. Fact of life, I suppose. Just pays to be cautious and observant no matter what your M.O.! Link to post Share on other sites
Casablanca Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Actually, it's true. And yes, there are crazy, not crazy, and every type of person in between out there. Dating online or any other way there is. Fact of life, I suppose. Just pays to be cautious and observant no matter what your M.O.! I'm not saying the statement was true, but it sounded like it was used as a reason to not do OLD Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I'm not saying the statement was true, but it sounded like it was used as a reason to not do OLD I follow you now. Didn't mean for it to imply that. Not quite, anyway. It just always sorta blows my mind when the news media, in reference to the latest crazed lunatic to commit a horrific act, states "according to his/her Facebook page" or "in his match profile, he says". It's scary. Makes me wonder what some of the weirdos I've had contact with are capable of. Sure, you can meet them at church too! Just my little tangent. Be safe, be happy! Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 It's really disturbing how many average-looking females on OKCupid that is younger than me who is already mothers and yet they are single. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 I've got a question for girls who use Match: What's your response to being a "favorite" of someone? Are you aware that it can happen? A while ago I signed up on Match just for fun and to see who was there. I never reached out to anyone, I just responded and searched. I started getting in the habit of "favoriting" the girls I really liked so I could contact them if I ever felt like it (making someone a "favorite" just means they get put on an earmarked list for you). So in December I came across an extremely cute girl who met all the criteria, so I favorited her. Then to my surprise she winked, I sent her a very funny tailored message but she didn't respond and soon after I noticed her subscription had been canceled so she couldn't respond even if she wanted to. Yesterday I noticed her account was reactivated so I looked at her page again. Then she sent me a message saying: "Hi there! I got something that said you made me a favorite. I'm not sure about exactly what that means...What's your name?" Now this girl is very attractive, she must get dozens of messages a day, I find it real hard to believe that she hasn't been "favorited" by anyone else. I'm thinking that in her message she's just playing a little dumb as an excuse to open a conversation -- not that she thinks I'm some creep, right? But why would a girl who's seemingly got it all message someone else outright when she's got 50 other guys knocking the door down? Is it at all possible she really just has no concept of "favoriting" and is maybe some combination of flattered and curious? Normally I'm not one to look into all sorts of trivial stuff like this, but like I said, she seems like she's everything I'm after, so I don't want to waste the chance. With a girl like this online, I feel like the circumstances are pretty fragile and one wrong move ends it for me. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 Disregard the above, I think I've got this. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 2, 2013 Share Posted March 2, 2013 It's really disturbing how many average-looking females on OKCupid that is younger than me who is already mothers and yet they are single. For some it's a case of 'life happens'. For others it is because they have terrible taste in men. The first case is something that can be worked with, the second you can't really do anything with (other than have a one-night-stand). Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 For some it's a case of 'life happens'. For others it is because they have terrible taste in men. The first case is something that can be worked with, the second you can't really do anything with (other than have a one-night-stand). The only reason why I said this is because they aren't very physically attractive. Butter face, some of them has a lot of meat (like clearly over 200 lbs), and their overall looks is average at best. When I look at their images, I can't see me be physically attracted to them. While that can be worked around if they have a good personality, then I notice that they already have children, which is another obstacle that would normally kill what little interest I have yet. Of course, there isn't a lot of profiles that has enough info that I would want to PM them, even if my profile is very underwhelming. Link to post Share on other sites
tk-421 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Hi all. This is my first post here and since I don't see a thread/forum for introductions, I'll try to get right into it and stick to the pertinent facts. Been on Match.com on and off. Most recently I've been on for six months, almost never finding anyone interesting that I really want to connect with until this January. Messaged the girl, could tell she never read the e-mail (I have the feature that tells me if it's be read) and couldn't do anything about it. Month later, I Googled her (lots of specifics in her profile) and found her on Facebook. Nothing left to lose, I sent her a message to the effect of, "I know this is weird, but saw your Match.com profile and really enjoyed it so I Googled you and found you here." I was skeptical because I felt like a cyberstalking weirdo. Got a message back that night to the effect of: "Wow! I'm impressed, would love to get to know you better" and this is after she saw my profile. Also sent me a Facebook friend request which I accepted. We exchanged a couple messages that week, until I got one from her that didn't say much and didn't have any follow up questions for me. So I sent back a message that included something like: "I'll address the elephant in the room. This is kind of weird, right? How about we try this in person sometime instead? I know I'm still a stranger from the internet, but having signed up on Match you must have been open to that prospect at some point. So stick a pin in it, discuss it in a committee of friends, and let me know what you think." Thought I was leaving it light and friendly, but now I realize (after talking with one other friend and doing some searches) I should have named a specific time and place and not an arbitrary "sometime". So my questions are: Did I kill it? Is it over? Do I stop right where I'm am and wait for her to get in touch with me? I sent her the last message on Monday so tomorrow will have been a week. Do I still have a window to say, "Hey, would you like to meet me at XYZ at 8 o'clock Saturday?" Will that make me seem too eager? Don't want to get into it, but I'm kind of an eccentric artist/musician type and she is the most promising potential date I've come across in years. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 My thoughts are probably not conventional wisdom, but in my opinion if you wait for her to respond you will be waiting forever. Rather than overeager I would think of it as persistent but not a stalker, in other words finding her somewhere else or another form of communication would be too much, but I think you have to follow up on Match with another message along lines you suggested even though probably won't get response. But it won't be because you tried. Link to post Share on other sites
tk-421 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 She is not a paid member on Match.com and cannot read messages I send to her from there. We've been communicating through Facebook messages. Do I send her one on there and say, "Hey, let's go to this place at this time?" Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Give her the choice of two different, not similar, venues and tell her to pick one. Then give a window of three hours time, i.e "I am free between 6pm and 9pm on either (day) or (day). Let me know which day/time works for you." Then forget about her. Are you performing anywhere? Invite her. Or go to coffee or whatever but keep your guitar in the car and if things go well, you can play for her in a park or even in your car. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 People, when you write a profile, proofread it and have a literate friend proofread it as well. I read this today: "I'm honest, kind-heated, analytical and intellecutal with attention to detail." Yes, people make typos, but that could cost you a job if it was in your resume. I've seen many ways of spelling "intelligent" -- "I am intelligant and educated." It's a simple thing to use spell check and have the aforementioned literate friend proofread it again. I get annoyed when I see this in so many profiles over and over. The photo equivalent would be to wear mismatched socks or have your fly unzipped. I yam a ejekated women what likes inteligint mens! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tk-421 Posted March 3, 2013 Share Posted March 3, 2013 Give her the choice of two different, not similar, venues and tell her to pick one. Then give a window of three hours time, i.e "I am free between 6pm and 9pm on either (day) or (day). Let me know which day/time works for you." Then forget about her. I like that. Actually, she is a performer too, which is why I was sort of thinking about karaoke or open mic, though neither are great places to have a conversation. She plays ukulele and a little guitar and I play guitar and a little bit of whatever I can get my hands on. It's kind of cold to play in a park this time of year in Chicago and guitars in cars don't work well (I've tried ). Thanks much, I will really think about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts