Addison312 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 Okayyyyy I think everyone here gets it. Stop rating women as numbers. You sound so pathetic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I'm only using numbers in the context of OLD. Geez... I've never met any of these people so what else do you have to go on besides a profile pic and a stupid list of movies and books they like... Link to post Share on other sites
bf3junkie Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah I made a dummy account to check out the girls on okcupid and match. Ok, wtf. The majority of girls have pictures of themselves WITH friends doing outdoor activities or having dinners or drinking in bars. So obviously these people have no trouble making friends and most of them say they're outgoing and sociable. They have a ton of friends, yet they can't find a significant other through everyday life. I mean, what the hell, something smells fishy here. I mean, I thought it would be easier to meet girls who maybe are shy or introverted or have SA so they're online, but now it seems every girl on there is outgoing and sociable and probably don't give a **** about shy guys. Why are they online in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
ls32ssibm Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Well, keep in mind anybody can make an online profile seem like they have a perfect life with tons of friends. It's one reason Facebook leads to depression for a lot of people; it passes off the false imagine that many people are living perfect lives. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 'Looks like this thread's got my name all over it... I too made a Match account just to kind of see who was out there and pre-screen a little. A common theme I noticed for the girls my age (early to mid-twenties) is that they're sick of the process of going to bars to try and meet guys. They find that guys in bars are typically only interested in one thing, which may or may not be true to an extent. I feel like the girls who do OLD, especially the paid sites, are actively looking for a relationship. It's not that they're shy. They just want to see the guy's credentials and make sure he's good relationship material before they get too serious. It sounds to me like you're a little resentful because you're shy and you thought that breaking some ice online might mask some of your shyness... I don't know if that's going to be the case. Most of the girls I've seen on the paid site seem ambitious, well adjusted, social, and more discerning than usual. Shy? Not so much. It takes some effort to put yourself out there like that. Link to post Share on other sites
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I am curious to what your experiences have been with online dating sites. I have used various dating sites for a number of years with mediocre success. I feel I am good at writing online profiles - I'm a good writer in general - however I still find that a precious few girls I talk to online end up being worth talking to. I have good success at getting attractive women - it's just always the ones that aren't really right for me. I realize there is a communication gap in that you don't really know the person or much about them for that matter. But it just seems to me that there is something, maybe more than that, missing in online dating. Anyone else feel this way? Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Online dating sucks. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 MrCastle I agree. But don't get me wrong, I WANT to like online dating. I think is should be kind of a "cure all" to regular dating. I mean if nothing else, you get a huge dating pool - the whole country or maybe even the whole world... But just what is it about it that makes it suck? I have been asking myself this question for quite awhile now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Yeah, online dating does suck. I did it for about 3 months, and was pretty slack about it if I'm honest. I went out with 6 guys, 5 of which were total duds, who weren't who they said they were. One of them was ok, then we had sex and I hardly heard from him again. Pretty much turned me off the whole thing. Meeting people organically is much more fun anyway! Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 MrCastle I agree. But don't get me wrong, I WANT to like online dating. I think is should be kind of a "cure all" to regular dating. I mean if nothing else, you get a huge dating pool - the whole country or maybe even the whole world... But just what is it about it that makes it suck? I have been asking myself this question for quite awhile now.. Because human beings aren't trading cards. The human interaction you get online is questionable, at best. OLD is you just putting up your stats like a baseball card, and a few fun facts. Attraction doesn't work that way. Attraction is based on in person, face to face interactions. The problem with OLD is people only go for the ones they *think* they'd be attracted to. But who you think you'd be attracted to and who you end up falling for are often not the same person. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Not who they say they are... that brings me to a possible point. I guess that's a complaint I have about the online dating scene as well. It allows people to be total fakes and I have experienced some of this too. Believe it or not, I think it's worse on some of the "big name" sites. They claim to "match" you. I think I could pick better matches with my eyes closed LOL. Had some success on POF but too much junk overall in my opinion. I have moved over to some of the more "niche" sites and honestly had more success. Link to post Share on other sites
Lani Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Just move on from OLD altogether. You've been on there for 'a number of years with mediocre success'. It's not the sites you're using that are the problem, it's the whole concept. If it were going to work for you it would have by now. Castle is right about the attraction thing. It's chemical, and you can't feel that through seeing someones stats and a photo. It's like me and you right now. I could be your perfect woman, but through these interactions you'd never know it. How could you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I'm terrible at online dating. Met a few girls and got as far as a bj. I just have to bang one remotely attractive girl from OLD and I'll be happy....just 1. Then I'll never use it again. So I'm still trying things out. I'll let you know how that goes, OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Lani also great point. The communication factor is a huge issue. It's tough to know who is right by just talking or worse typing. Not bragging at all, but through all the people I have talked to, I have become extremely proficient at picking out the decent ones, though I have to go through a lot of people - kind of a draining task. I get a good idea through even text chatting. Once I talk to them on the phone, I can generally peg someone's personality pretty well. First dates, first impressions, I'm rarely wrong. I guess I've become good at "reading people". Kind of a sad fact, but it still doesn't help me. Here's why and it's exactly what you said - it's the interactions that are the problem. Even if I think the person is a match, chances are they haven't seen it yet. Sometimes they pick up on the spark, but usually it either takes forever or goes completely unnoticed. I mean, they really don't even know you, so how much importance are they going to place on your conversations? Not much, again just a trading card - no connection... Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I realize there is a communication gap in that you don't really know the person or much about them for that matter. But it just seems to me that there is something, maybe more than that, missing in online dating. Anyone else feel this way? OLD is a way of meeting people from outside your social circle... so of course you don't know them. So you go on dates to get to know them. Not really sure what you're getting at. Link to post Share on other sites
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I guess what I'm saying is that I believe the connection is often missed because of the fact that OLD is a numbers game in general. In my experience, people don't place much importance on text chatting and phone conversations in general. When you meet, at least you have a chance. But still, since it began on OLD I think you are generally more "numb" to connections because you just met the person. You weren't introduced, you don't have the same friends etc. No reinforcement. Link to post Share on other sites
averageguy Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Basically, if I were introduced to ten people, lets say by friends - I think there is a much better chance of success. As opposed to dating ten people I met online - they have no connections to you, no reinforcement, no idea of your past - they have less to go on therefore I think they tend to place less importance on it in general. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 I have had mostly very positive experiences with OLD. I don't have time to do it the old fashioned way, so use OLD. For me there are very little differences between OLD and meeting people the old fashioned way. In fact, you get to know more about someone OLD before you meet than you do meeting someone the OFW, provided they are telling the truth about themselves via email, phone, texting or their profile. If not truthful, well, lying doesn't stop on OLD, it also happens when dating the OFW. I've only met really nice ladies, but circumstances, timing, were issues, not that any of them were psycho or dishonest. The real problem with OLD is the GIGS. There are so many options, people are less inclined to commit b/c they are looking for the next "better" potential mate that may contact them. Not my experience, but it is a problem. OLD is just another way to "meet" people. If you're basing your entire opinion on someone simply by referring to their online profiles, then you're OFW of dating is probably doomed too. It's about assessing character in person and that happens when you meet face-to-face, date, get to know one another....all things you do in the OFW. ....just have the decency to stop checking your OLD account once you've committed, that's all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
starla33 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Today I had a guy from OLD completely flake out and not even say anything after I texted him. First time that has happened to me, but yeah. Always have backup plans... Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Flakes, stage 5 clingers, rebounders, passive aggressive, controlling, bitter. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Today I had a guy from OLD completely flake out and not even say anything after I texted him. First time that has happened to me, but yeah. Always have backup plans... Yeah, I hear that this is typical. Another thing about OLD.... Many people who use them have relatively low communication skills or simply uncomfortable face-to-face. It emboldens many like that to try to reach out and date by using OLD, but really, they realize that the actual conversation has to happen in person. So, be aware, as many of you should be that what you read is not what you may get. Another thing is about the accuracy of the pictures. Again, been mislead only once, but that is also an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 Flakes, stage 5 clingers, rebounders, passive aggressive, controlling, bitter. All are found doing it the old-fashioned way.... Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 It's a slight conundrum, online dating. I think it CAN work very well but it's unusual. I think it's better to meet people slowly and gradually online through NORMAL websites you use frequently rather than specifically for dating purposes. There's a lot of pressure on those sites, and a lot of "posturing" and needing to impress. I have had 2 relationships that began online. The first was in 2001 and she is still my partner now. We met on a website for lesbian dating but also friendship and casual chats and stuff. Neither of us was there to actually meet someone, we just wanted some casual friendships online, entertaining chats, etc. We lived in different states but not too far away. We had an internet only relationship for the first 6 months (it took us 3 months after first meeting to actually realise we had fallen in love with each other. Through long emails twice a day and nightly hours-long chatting sessions online), and then finally met in person. Then we were long distance and still online and also phone, and visited each other every 2-4 weeks for a few days at a time, before she moved to my state to be with me. We've been together ever since. THAT worked because we were just lucky. It is VERY rare. We also were very cautious in that we really got to know each other before we met. Although having said that, sometimes that leaves much more opportunity of inaccuracies and potential lies not being found out until way later, and also the singular perception thing of online relationships where everything they say is perceived a certain way by you, but when you meet, they may REALLY not be what you expected, hoped for or wanted. My 2nd online relationship I never met. We were together almost 2 years, and in an affair situation. Both of us with other partners. Him a lot older than me. We met on a discussion board like this one, but for music stuff. Knew each other as casual friends for 1-2 years before we got much closer. We were deeply in love and I still miss him horribly. He broke up with me last December because he couldn't continue living in an affair situation anymore. I believe if we'd had the chance to meet (we never got to cause we're in different countries) we could have worked out as well (if neither of us were with other people of course!) As well as daily emails and twice daily chats online, we sent texts all the time and also did videos for each other, just talking and stuff, sitting around, cooking, driving, getting dressed. We tried to bring some of the normal day to day mundane stuff into our long distance relationship that way, to feel closer. So yeah. I am a fan of online dating, but you have to be very open minded and very sure of what you want and whether you take ages to meet someone or whether you meet them early on, is up to you. And you CAN definitely fall in love / feel a spark just from writing on a screen. You really can, especially if you give it time and you just "click". Link to post Share on other sites
happykat Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 In my experience, people don't place much importance on text chatting and phone conversations in general. I don't agree with this at all, as far as women go anyway.. A lot of women I know place so much importance on what a guy texts that they save the texts and read them over and over.. My experience with OLD has been pretty good. And to be honest I have had the best luck with craigslist (placing my own ad). Of course you have to be very selective. Out of about 50 responses I received 2 that were decent (not great odds, I know) and one led to a 5 month long relationship. Maybe the thing with OLD is that it's almost too easy (for women) to meet someone. And that may lead to constantly searching for the better and better.. thinking you can trade up? All I know is that I decided to give an OLD site another try a couple of days ago and have been overwhelmed with the response. I already hid my profile because I just don't even want anymore responses lol! And that would never happen if I went to a nightclub or something. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted March 14, 2013 Share Posted March 14, 2013 All are found doing it the old-fashioned way.... Have you ever seen that movie DUH!? Link to post Share on other sites
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