Object_a Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I know this is aimed AT men but I have to say, if I received one of the two 'good' messages from a woman, I would run a mile. Both sound like they are trying way too hard. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 PS - mentioned IQ numbers in a profile sounds pretentious and stuck up. Im a smart guy myself with an above average IQ, and Id be super turned off seeing a girl act like you did in her profile. It just sounds snobby. PPS - IQ doesnt determine how well I click with someone. Nevermind the fact that different IQ tests garner different results. And also that many folks in the science world dont consider IQ to be the sole measure of intelligence. Link to post Share on other sites
greenetree Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Why should guys read profiles when those of us who do are ignored even when we write good messages trying to connect with you? Men have been conditioned not to give a damn on OLD because of how most women have reacted to us. Go to the real world if OLD doesnt work for you. Or loosen up and reply to some of the guys who just say "hi". People just say hi in real life and it sparks some good convos OP. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy... like a race to the bottom. Way too many men send worthless messages... then condition THEMSELVES to not invest any time because of the lack or response. They did this by diluting the message pool. The only thing women do is turn on the computer and wade through hundreds of messages. How is that really my fault? I'm telling you to stop writing garbage so that I won't only meet men I message, or remove my profile pic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 It's a self-fulfilling prophecy... like a race to the bottom. Way too many men send worthless messages... then condition THEMSELVES to not invest any time because of the lack or response. They did this by diluting the message pool. The only thing women do is turn on the computer and wade through hundreds of messages. How is that really my fault? I'm telling you to stop writing garbage so that I won't only meet men I message, or remove my profile pic. You could be right on about this. Not your fault. Unfortunately, the reality of things now. Link to post Share on other sites
greenetree Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I know this is aimed AT men but I have to say, if I received one of the two 'good' messages from a woman, I would run a mile. Both sound like they are trying way too hard. Alright so out of context it seems that way. I basically end my profile with message me if you are 140+ IQ. Prove it to me. Say something intelligent. I've littered my profile with things they can inquire / talk about. The irony is the messages are just as bad as when I just write a bunch of dumb cliches and platitudes. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) It's a self-fulfilling prophecy... like a race to the bottom. Way too many men send worthless messages... then condition THEMSELVES to not invest any time because of the lack or response. They did this by diluting the message pool. The only thing women do is turn on the computer and wade through hundreds of messages. How is that really my fault? I'm telling you to stop writing garbage so that I won't only meet men I message, or remove my profile pic. Um...women never message men, and they barely reply to the guys who write thoughtful messages. In the end women are just like men, they reply or message people based on pics. And this is why guys message the way they do. Also, your profile sounds like a turn off to decent guys out there. I would never message you upon reading the IQ remark. It sounds stuck up and snobby. It would straight turn me off. You didnt seem to consider that. A lot of decent guys will not bother with chicks who seem entitled or snobby. Mentioning your IQ basically sounds like "dont talk to me unless youre considered smart as measured by tests that people in the scientific cannot even agree upon." Or "dont message me if youre not smart enough to keep up" OP...how about writing a profile that highlights your IQ without outright giving a figure? Thats what would draw me in. And dont use POF. Its a wasteland. OKC has smarter folks. Edited March 25, 2013 by kaylan Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 The only thing women do is turn on the computer and wade through hundreds of messages. Not entirely true... sometimes they send me messages. Eloquent passages? No, they say "hi". But anyway, if wading through messages isn't working for you, get out there and send some of your own (but not just "hi", unless you're hot, or I'll delete it). Link to post Share on other sites
greenetree Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 PS - mentioned IQ numbers in a profile sounds pretentious and stuck up. Im a smart guy myself with an above average IQ, and Id be super turned off seeing a girl act like you did in her profile. It just sounds snobby. PPS - IQ doesnt determine how well I click with someone. Nevermind the fact that different IQ tests garner different results. And also that many folks in the science world dont consider IQ to be the sole measure of intelligence. It totally does yet just as many men message me as before. Go figure. I did it on purpose, hoping it would reduce the message bombing, but it has the opposite effect. Link to post Share on other sites
greenetree Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Not entirely true... sometimes they send me messages. Eloquent passages? No, they say "hi". But anyway, if wading through messages isn't working for you, get out there and send some of your own (but not just "hi", unless you're hot, or I'll delete it). I hate to say this but I type "Hey!" and get a response 90% of the time if they are online. Men are too easy... Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Well the right guys obviously arent that easy if you havent found anyone to connect with. Why arent you messaging guys with depth that youd click with? And it sounds like both versions of your profile were crap and brought in the same lame types of men. A girls profile can bring in the right or wrong kind of guy. And Ill say it again...OKC has higher quality people. Link to post Share on other sites
greenetree Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 Um...women never message men, and they barely reply to the guys who write thoughtful messages. In the end women are just like men, they reply or message people based on pics. And this is why guys message the way they do. Also, your profile sounds like a turn off to decent guys out there. I would never message you upon reading the IQ remark. It sounds stuck up and snobby. It would straight turn me off. You didnt seem to consider that. A lot of decent guys will not bother with chicks who seem entitled or snobby. Mentioning your IQ basically sounds like "dont talk to me unless youre considered smart as measured by tests that people in the scientific cannot even agree upon." Or "dont message me if youre not smart enough to keep up" OP...how about writing a profile that highlights your IQ without outright giving a figure? Thats what would draw me in. And dont use POF. Its a wasteland. OKC has smarter folks. We'll I'm already setup dates with 3 men I messaged first and will be nuking my account soon so here it is: OkCupid | greene_tree / 29 / F / Los Angeles, California This is the first time I mentioned the whole IQ and kids thing. I really thought it would reduce my message spam not increase it. That it got worse, is the reason I created this thread. Men who message ME really don't bother with profiles - all they care about is my pic. I really do CARE about his profile! Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 We'll I'm already setup dates with 3 men I messaged first and will be nuking my account soon so here it is: OkCupid | greene_tree / 29 / F / Los Angeles, California This is the first time I mentioned the whole IQ and kids thing. I really thought it would reduce my message spam not increase it. That it got worse, is the reason I created this thread. Men who message ME really don't bother with profiles - all they care about is my pic. I really do CARE about his profile! Also, you gotta realize that some guys will go after single moms just for hookups, as a lot of dudes prefer single women without kids. So that might explain the spam you get. I personally never message woman with kids, so all men online dont just randomly spam girls with decent pics. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I hate to say this but I type "Hey!" and get a response 90% of the time if they are online. Men are too easy... So don't bitch when we do it to you. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I'm going to share some of them with you as well as my insight in hopes that you boys will learn how to get a reply from a quality woman looking for a quality man. "Boys" is an insulting term. And what makes you believe you are "quality"? Your post indicates the opposite. "Hi there how are you? I just saw your profile and wanted to say hello. I would love to get to know you." This guy was hot but generic spam message means he's a douche bag player. Next. LOL, so not only was he hot, but his message has nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it might be "spam." Get this through your head, if you are capable. The way you and other women dismiss so many guys so quickly and casually is the reason guys have to spam. Spamming doesn't mean they are "douche-bag players", it means it's the only way they can get any responses. Making girls custom messages in OLD is a colossal waste of time, because most women are like you - dismissive and entitled. Maybe if you didn't sit around feeling so entitled, and learn some humility, you might start having success. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 IQ is only half the game. Emotional IQ and scruples are as equally if not more important. Tons of psychos have high IQs and this is coming from somebody constantly being put in the gifted classes in school. The Unabomber has a high IQ. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Estate Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 In other words, don't message pretty girls. Wait for them to message you if you're a hot guy. If you're not a hot guy, delete your profile. Or at least be interesting and give it a shot? No? Wah, wah, wah. Link to post Share on other sites
greenetree Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 "Boys" is an insulting term. And what makes you believe you are "quality"? Your post indicates the opposite. LOL, so not only was he hot, but his message has nothing wrong with it other than the fact that it might be "spam." Get this through your head, if you are capable. The way you and other women dismiss so many guys so quickly and casually is the reason guys have to spam. Spamming doesn't mean they are "douche-bag players", it means it's the only way they can get any responses. Making girls custom messages in OLD is a colossal waste of time, because most women are like you - dismissive and entitled. Maybe if you didn't sit around feeling so entitled, and learn some humility, you might start having success. It wasn't his message that said douche bag player. It was his profile and the fact that he sent me the message not 15 seconds after OKC notified me he was visiting my profile. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) I misunderstood what you said about kids. Thought you meant you had your own till I saw your profile. Anyways, heres some reasons why you get lame messages from guys lacking depth. Your self summary says NOTHING about you. Its bland and not too unique. Hence guys will put no effort into messaging you. You will be "just another pretty face". Say something about your personality. What you do for fun, what your friends think of you, etc. You mentioned sex in the "6 things I cant live without" section. Are you surprised by the responses you got? What I have noticed, and what my friends have experienced who have had success with OLD, is that women who put sex in that section or mention how much they like sex in their profile...well these girls usually are down for hook ups. You give off that vibe when you put sex in that section. As a guy I wouldnt mention sex in my profile since it turns girls off. Conversely, you shouldnt put it in your profile. It attract the wrong kind of guy and makes guys like me not bother to message you because we assume youre just another pretty girl looking for a hookup. If a girl seems open online hookups...shes not gf material. And I already touched on the IQ thing. Its offputting. PS - I will give your eclectic musical taste props though. You got some punk bands in their I grew up on. To go from the Dead Milkmen to Dave Brubeck is unique. I have both in my music library. Edited March 25, 2013 by kaylan Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 We'll I'm already setup dates with 3 men I messaged first and will be nuking my account soon so here it is: OkCupid | greene_tree / 29 / F / Los Angeles, California This is the first time I mentioned the whole IQ and kids thing. I really thought it would reduce my message spam not increase it. That it got worse, is the reason I created this thread. Men who message ME really don't bother with profiles - all they care about is my pic. I really do CARE about his profile! I wouldn't message you based on your profile. Aside from you being hot, you've got nothing that interests me, and we couldn't even eat a baby pig together. Though I'm sure you are correct that most men don't give a damn about your profile and would contact you just because they think you are attractive. Such is the struggles of being a woman. As for your previous post, would you reply to a guy who had a profile you liked but was only average in looks? What if he looked dorky as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Joaquin Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Bizarre post altogether. Even the old not giving enough attention. Edited March 25, 2013 by Joaquin Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I hate to say this but I type "Hey!" and get a response 90% of the time if they are online. Men are too easy... I enjoyed reading your thread. A bit savage, but that helped make it entertaining. I also thought the two you liked were trying too hard. Anyway this post of yours prompted me to say most women's openers or conversations on OLD are not much better. You really just don't go with Hey do you? Link to post Share on other sites
greenetree Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I enjoyed reading your thread. A bit savage, but that helped make it entertaining. I also thought the two you liked were trying too hard. Anyway this post of yours prompted me to say most women's openers or conversations on OLD are not much better. You really just don't go with Hey do you? I'm glad you realized I was trying to be slightly sarcastic about it. Savage is a good word. Why should I bother with anything else when it works 90% of the time? I only message men if they are online so I can converse in real time. I learn much more about them (yes I'm looking for smart) when they don't have hours to think of something funny to say. Yes there is a certain irony in that... Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I will give your eclectic musical taste props though. You got some punk bands in their I grew up on. To go from the Dead Milkmen to Dave Brubeck is unique. I have both in my music library. Your email to greenetree....80% anyway... Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted March 25, 2013 Share Posted March 25, 2013 I've found that a well written message gets a reply from an attractive women about 25% of the time. The messages I personally felt that I didn't write something that interesting get replies maybe about 10%. It's hard to write something catchy every time as I'm not willing to spend more than a few minutes reading a profile and crafting a message. Also the long messages are a TOTAL waste of time. Never more than 2-3 sentences. But I agree with the OP assessment. A well written message will likely get them to click on your profile which is 2/3rds of the battle with that kind of message volume... Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 I've found that a well written message gets a reply from an attractive women about 25% of the time. Why do I hear the opposite most of the time? Oh, you must be really hot or something. Link to post Share on other sites
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