ImperfectionisBeauty Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 If I was 35 and single I wouldn't have standards Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 If I was 35 and single I wouldn't have standards LOL! Oh come on, I find that hard to believe! Link to post Share on other sites
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 LOL! Oh come on, I find that hard to believe! Lol be nice and a little attractive. Actually those are basically my standards now ha 3 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Lol be nice and a little attractive. Actually those are basically my standards now ha You ask for so little. Dang, I wish more women were like you! Link to post Share on other sites
pyramid Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 can you be 35 + and still picky? you remain single yet you don't lower your standards? Oh heck yes. I would rather be single than with someone who wasn't a great fit. I'm 35+ and have no problem getting dates online... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Some people I know well IRL who are middle aged who have done OLD ARE very picky in who they will meet. They have high standards. They met some quality people through OLD that met those high standards. They are now either married to the person, or in an exclusive long term relationship with the person. Doesn't hurt to have high standards if you yourself have plenty to offer to meet those standards. There will be some people who meet those high standards. Takes awhile to find those that do meet those standards. As long as they are realistic, and you yourself have as much to offer, there is nothing wrong with having high standards. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I don't know. I'm on OLD and I often feel like I'm kidding myself. But I guess that's just par for the course. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 In all seriousness and having ONLY OLD since the end of my 12+ yrs marriage, I have been VERY fortunate. I have met some incredibly giving, open, attractive women and none of them would I characterize as whackos . Things don't work out for this and that reason, but never b/c of something dramatic and unreasonable. None of the ladies I've dated were flakes. But, OLD is tough and one can easily become entrenched and subject to the dangerous dynamics of it. GIGS, inaccurate pics, false personalities, etc and other things that the OP has described. I simply don't have the time nor inclination to go out to meet people. Just don't. Because online dating is liking walking down the produce aisle/section of a supermarket, people are constantly bombarded by choice, anticipation of choice....there is a serious paradox of choice, so much so, that many never commit to selecting anyone thing/person. People can simply move on and on and find themselves with no one at all by the end of it. It's not easy, but it can and does work. I have no formula that I keep to. Again, I have been darn fortunate. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I'm 32. I actually have higher standards now than ever. Not that I have an exhaustive list of standards but why on earth would I lower my standards? So desperate little boys can feel better about themselves? It also goes both sides. I've sent messages to a lot of men without having much responses. If you can't take the rejection, stay away from online dating sites. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I find all the bolding disconcerting. My eyes glaze over crap like that. OP's comments on men on OLD are apparently more true than false from what women report experiencing. He by the way is one of them as his post documents. Women on OLD wanting attention? Standards? I think the issue was not responding due to high standards, so I don't know what the beef is. I'm not going to wade through his bolding to see how his bogus mass mailing exercise suggests women are somehow complicit in guys like him screwing everything up for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 No different than real life. There's nothing that suggests people would date in real life profiles they are not acting on on OLD. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 The problem with OLD is that people have unrealistic expectation. When you have 100's of people as options it's easier just to move on. This is why I would never do the OLD. In MY experience that has not been the case. In MY experience, the ladies I've dated all have had very reasonable expectations. Expectations that they would have had if dating face to face or the old fashioned way. For example, height and body type. Everyone has an idea of what they are looking for whether you it's OLD or going out to a bar. I believe that it's true that for women, if they met the person who would have been 6-inches shorter than their OLD preference that that would make some difference. But, in this example, I also believe that in real life dating, the woman would greatly hesitate approaching that same person. Eh, what do I know? I just thank the lucky stars that I continue to meet some amazing, intelligent, hot women! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I like OLD because it is more efficient time-wise and energy-wise. I agree that most problems could be eliminated if people posted current, clear photos of face and body. That's a basic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 To reiterate why i was online ( I do not have many people to hang out with other than my gf, So i was hoping to grow my social circle, wrong place maybe,) but worthwhile observations. Here's a great test to find out if dating sites are places to find platonic friends: tell your gf that you're on a dating site writing to girls and (via your fake profile) getting messages from them. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 and yet the problem is guys mass contact women and harrass them, so you and your linked writer are major league confused. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I'm not talking about physical features. Just that there's more options. The Many Problems With Online Dating's Radical Efficiency - Peter Ludlow - The Atlantic Yup. I hear you. The more attractive ladies get tons of emails/messages and more often than not select the pretty boys over substance. That's their choice, right? Most of those same attractive women are still OLD. Anyway, I don't know what the key is. I'm not the most attractive or certainly tall, but I am passionate in my emails/messages and profile. I have been very efficient. When I get interest, I am persistent. I email 2-3 more times until the lady responds. But I do this only if they visit my profile and seem conflicted/uncertain. I AM ALWAYS POSITIVE, POLITE AND CONFIDENT. I, of course, leave them alone after the attempts to persuade. But once I do get a response, I use my skills of conversation to reel them in! LOL! I make myself laugh sometimes. I don't know. I've just been fortunate. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Another thing that is vital. I read the fricken' profiles for cues, clues, double-talk to get an idea if the lady would even consider me. I've become good at doing that. You also have to look at the questions that they have answered (ie. OKC, etc.). The way they answer the questions give you huge clues. I guess it is a kind of science, but there is certainly some art involved. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 The problem with OLD is that people have unrealistic expectation. When you have 100's of people as options it's easier just to move on. This is why I would never do the OLD. I learned more about OLD from this forum than I ever did when I tried it. I didn't meet anyone on there. It seems like a good concept for the busy professional until you realize it is the perfect place for schemers and scammers to do their thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 I learned more about OLD from this forum than I ever did when I tried it. I didn't meet anyone on there. It seems like a good concept for the busy professional until you realize it is the perfect place for schemers and scammers to do their thing. Both true. Link to post Share on other sites
charlietheginger Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 The magic knight floats in and bows down to say " hello madam i come from far far away , please hop On my horse. You will never have to work again ill pay All your bills and give you eveything in life you need" I swear that's what some women expect. Unless your 5"9 125lbs 36.24.36 blonde hair Blue eyes it aint happening.... Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Let's not forget the married people pretending to be single or women with boyfriend claims to be single. It goes on and on. Then there's the fake pics or pics from ages ago. I remember a guy commenting he met 100's of women and most of them had pics either so old or it wasn't really them he couldn't recognize them on a date. Does OLD work? Only for a small percentage. Again, I have NEVER met a woman who did not look like their pics. Lucky. I could never understand putting up inaccurate pics of oneself. Just doesn't make sense. But, yup, it happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 The magic knight floats in and bows down to say " hello madam i come from far far away , please hop On my horse. You will never have to work again ill pay All your bills and give you eveything in life you need" I swear that's what some women expect. Unless your 5"9 125lbs 36.24.36 blonde hair Blue eyes it aint happening.... Those who expect this to happen on OLd expect this to happen in real life anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Most men need to contact at least 100 women to get 2 to 3 dates let alone getting talk to them. In the real world I would never have to do that. Please do some research and thinking before responding I have read about this one other online dating forums. Yet your assertion was taking no action because of too many choices. Or at least your obscure wording and linked title implied that. Contacting 100 women is not not taking action. Your contention is confused, as I said. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 double not. You remain confused. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 4, 2013 Share Posted May 4, 2013 Most men need to contact at least 100 women to get 2 to 3 dates let alone getting talk to them. I don't know if that's true (ie, is it really "most"?) but what of it? Why is that intrinsically a bad thing? Do you think it should be easier? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
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