Anela Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 OK, so I am going out on a date in an hour... I am a bit nervous, because it's my first time meeting someone from OLD... I am hoping this won't be awkward and especially, that he won't turn out to have gained 200 pounds since the picture he posted was taken... How did it go? Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 As I had expected... that was the most boring date EVER. OMG. I wanted to shoot myself the whole time. I paid my way,didn't even let him offer, it was obvious he wouldn't have anyway. And then he suggested that we go somewhere else. So we went for a drink at the local pub. That was SLIGHTLY less boring, but only slightly less... Pity, because I really liked him, I mean he's a nice guy, looks-wise he's ok, but not super-attractive -- a bit on the chubby side, I thought he was less fat from the pics, and too feminine looking for my taste. But he actually grew on me throughout the evening. But not enough, I think. He's too.. boring. I don't know. The spark just isn't there. I was struggling throughout the date... It wasn't a natural flow / we didn't click, it seems. With the other guy the other week, it was effortless during our dinner. This guy tonight, I said, well I have to walk this way, my place is in this direction ,so we stopped to say goodnight, and he was like, well I don't know what to say... he was so awkward... I shook his hand, then he was so nervous, but I just hugged him. Felt so bad at that point, I wanted to reassure him lol.. :/ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jacg89 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Just once. everytime we go out, I pull out my debit card and he always gives me the look, gets mad, or beats me to it. I don't know why, but I would feel more comfortable about paying... even if it was just once! I really appreciate that he is like this, since I had to pay for everything with my ex, he wouldn't even attempt to pull out his money whenever we went out. I even told this guy that. But that conversation was a long time ago. Anyhow, is it really that bad that I want to pay? I know he is being a gentleman. But still. I feel like... I'd like to take care of things just one time. Do you think that I should just give up and never attempt to pay again? Like, maybe its a turnoff or something...?? I don't know... Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 You're funny. IF you're truly wanting to pick up the tab, waiting for the presentation of the tab is waaaay to late. Surely you're more creative than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripnet Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Invite him to your place for dinner which you prepare and have paid. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Invite him to your place for dinner which you prepare and have paid. That's an open invitation for sex. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
InsaneTrombone Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 That's an open invitation for sex. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 That's an open invitation for sex. depends....dont know their dating history. To the OP..... some guys feel its their manhood at stake for them to pay for a date. the way to get around this is for you to plan the date like buying tickets for an event and asking him to meet you at this location. The other way around this is dont wait till the bill comes--insist you are going to pay right from the start. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 depends....dont know their dating history. As a guy, if the woman I'm seeing invites me over to her house for dinner, I'm expecting sex by the end of the night. If you don't intend to put out, then don't invite him to your place. Simple. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Arrange w mgr ahead of time to pay, no check should come to the table. This is a common practice. Event tickets yes. Charity ShinDigs can be fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I've experienced this before with a few men who feel emasculated when a woman pays for them in public. When I find these guys, I find ways to pay ahead of time - a movie, a concert, a sporting event, something with tickets, and I buy them in advance. Then, I let him beat his chest by buying me a beer at the event itself. Link to post Share on other sites
Balzac Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Emasculated is such a pejorative. Speaking for myself, it's not about that. At restaurants, bars that I'm a regular, I want to pay and tip. It's about her using creativity to play hostess. I'm all for that. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I say if he wants to pay that badly, just let him pay. I can't see going out of your way to arrange scenarios so you can get the bill before he does just so you can pay. That seems like a lot of effort, and it may upset him anyway. I would just say "Look, I'd love to treat you sometime, so if you change your mind, just let me know." Done, end of story. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripnet Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 That's an open invitation for sex. Well what if they already having sex? Not all invitation for dinner leads to sex. Link to post Share on other sites
WildBillJP Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I'm not sure why he won't let you pay for him at least once in a while. While some guys may feel it is not masculine to let women pay, most high value people are used to people doing or buying things for them at times, and are usually not against it. I love it when I go to my gf's house to go out to eat, and she surprises me by having an amazing dinner made and ready for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I think it's kind of sweet 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crude Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I'm thinking if he ignores your wishes and insists on always having his way on this, is he the same way with all other aspects of your life? I don't know that you want to be a woman with an ayatollah for a husband. Maybe just hand him all of your personal bills and tell him to pay for everything if he's hell bent on paying. Car and mortgage payments might knock some sense into Mr Macho. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Buy a gift certificate to a nice restaurant. Invite him and tell him you have a GC you want to use. With some men, it's the only way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 When you are married to him, expect to be waiting on him hand and foot everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Merged into consolidated thread on this topic. Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 I am staying in tonight and have been sifting through some people on the one OLD site I use and I just wanted to say this in regards to attraction: I pass on so many nice-looking, attractive men just because they aren't really my type. Logically I can see they are good-looking and are probably cool people; they're just not right FOR ME. So, I know this is said a lot here on LS but it's worth repeating. Next time you're rejected just remember this. It very well may be that there's NOTHING wrong with you. You just might not be that person's type! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ripnet Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Well attractive men sometimes don't put as much effort as the average looking ones. The average look ones probably do more for you. I don't know but I've seen attractive women's profile when I get bored. But when they talk about what high class people do like art, travelling and things like that it just turns me off. I usually don't like to date doctors, lawyers and other high professions. I prefer waitresses, nurses, cashier etc. These people tend to be more fun to hang around with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eastcoastgirl88 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 Hmm, interesting conversation about professions people tend to go for. I am addicted to dating athletes. It's a bad addiction, lol. I also have a history with guys in finance but I've never really had that fantastic of an experience with one. Some of the most fun I've had was with an entrepreneur. He was a risk-taker and a major blast to be around. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 If you keep getting rejected, it probably has something to do with you. No one rolls snake eyes on every single roll of the dice forever... Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted June 23, 2013 Share Posted June 23, 2013 For women, only dating is the same thing as shopping online. There are lots of products out there, each with a picture and a little description and she can quickly decide if she wants to try or not. Does a lamp get sad when it's not purchased? Then a man shouldn't either. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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