Consolidated discussion - Online dating

[irc333]

Bolded is true for me. I think it's a good thing. I used to stress so much about dating.

 

Now I am like "Eh plenty more where that came from"

 

That being said, since you admit to it, you ever consider groups outside the realm of the cyber realm, for instance....Meetup.com or just special interests groups like kayaking, paddle boarding groups, movie, game night groups and so forth where the pressure is off that kind of thing and you're not entirley THINKING about "If this guy is compatible or has these flaws that I may or may not overlook?"

 

Most people aren't really thinking that, and the opportunity to see them or get to know them "in action" would probably be better.

 

I know of a lot of women that would date men that they would normally not even read their emails had they'd met them person as opposed to the SAME man online.

[irc333]

With online dating, with men getting so many LACK of replies, once a man gets reply, he feels that the woman's interest.

 

Here are the classification of women online:

 

1. They don't reply at all

2. They reply with "Thanks for the email, but I don't think we'd make a good match, good luck in your search".

3. The one that actually replies with a FULL and rather lengthy message, but never addressed the questions you asked her in your initial email.

 

For instance, recently I had a woman respond to me, she mentioned a specific interest IN her profile that I had pointed out in my email to her...it was about her profession that she was a bit vague about it, but replied by clarifying it with me, and concurred a few other things I pointed out in her profile.....but...I concluded my initial email with, "How long have you been single and living in the area?"

 

She never addressed that...so in my reply BACK to her, I addressed whatever she said in her FIRST reply back to me...and RE-asked the same question in my initial email to her."

 

Some may say she may be interested based on her reply back to me, but never saying she was NOT interested either, but actually talked in depth about herself, but asked no questions of me.

[PlumPrincess]

"How long have you been single and living in the area?"

Ooooh, let me reply! I don't know her, but if I get something like that, I would think you are overly nosy and that it's none of your business. I do not know you and I do not tell people I don't know personal stuff about me.

[Weezy1973]

Bolded is true for me. I think it's a good thing. I used to stress so much about dating.

 

Now I am like "Eh plenty more where that came from"

 

"Good for you" meaning being able to detach from the dating process (i.e. less stressful). Clearly not good for you if you're looking for someone to connect with for a longterm, monogamous relationship. I guess it depends on what one deems good.

[irc333]

Ooooh, let me reply! I don't know her, but if I get something like that, I would think you are overly nosy and that it's none of your business. I do not know you and I do not tell people I don't know personal stuff about me.

 

Um..this is normal conversation, P.P.

[PlumPrincess]

Most questions elicit the same reaction from me. They make me think, "none of your f*cking business."

[irc333]

Most questions elicit the same reaction from me. They make me think, "none of your f*cking business."

 

Sounds like a personal problem of yours, Plum.

[PlumPrincess]

any time a guy dares ask a female any question he runs that risk. can't even have a normal conversation with a female without **** hitting the fan.

You should stop asking so many questions and instead just maintain an interesting conversation.

 

You obviously want to talk to her, for whatever reason. Tell her something interesting and give her a reason to talk to you.

 

If you want to know her name, say, "Hi, my name is xxx." If she is interested, she will tell you her name. If she isn't, then she won't tell.

[PlumPrincess]

Sounds like a personal problem of yours, Plum.

Sure. Keep on doing what you are always doing...

[irc333]

You should stop asking so many questions and instead just maintain an interesting conversation.

 

You obviously want to talk to her, for whatever reason. Tell her something interesting and give her a reason to talk to you.

 

If you want to know her name, say, "Hi, my name is xxx." If she is interested, she will tell you her name. If she isn't, then she won't tell.

 

By YOUR perspective, the response would be "It's none of your business what my name is" LOL

[irc333]

give her a reason to talk to you.

 

A reason? Why should you give ANYONE a reason to talk to you? Isn't the action of starting a conversation reason enough?

[PlumPrincess]

I suggest, you guys set up a fake profile. Ask a female friend if you can use her pictures and then let the messages roll in. Have fun. And do not forget to reply to every single message.

[It's Just Me]

A reason? Why should you give ANYONE a reason to talk to you? Isn't the action of starting a conversation reason enough?

 

I find it amusing that there are people who post a profile on a dating site, then get "annoyed" when people try to initiate a conversation. I would just move on to the next person, quite honestly. People with tightly-wound knickers aren't much fun to be around anyway.

[irc333]

I find it amusing that there are people who post a profile on a dating site' date=' then get "annoyed" when people try to initiate a conversation. I would just move on to the next person, quite honestly. People with tightly-wound knickers aren't much fun to be around anyway.[/quote']

 

I am starting to thin that those people with social issues PREFER the online realm and delibrately avoid any real life fellow shipping with others in real life.

 

I mean, why be forced into a conversation with a man you meet in public, when you can run home, lock the door, and log into your Match.com account where you have complete control on who approaches you?

[It's Just Me]

A reason? Why should you give ANYONE a reason to talk to you? Isn't the action of starting a conversation reason enough?

 

I am starting to thin that those people with social issues PREFER the online realm and delibrately avoid any real life fellow shipping with others in real life.

 

I mean, why be forced into a conversation with a man you meet in public, when you can run home, lock the door, and log into your Match.com account where you have complete control on who approaches you?

 

Yeah, who knows what's behind all of that. I swear that there are some normal women out there. Don't give up!

[PlumPrincess]

why on earth do females reply to all 233 messages they get? as a male i prefer no reply than the usual bogus female rejection reply. you females have so many options but have such a propensity to pick out the worst ones its just funny.

So you acknowledge that women get inundated with messages from guys, but you see no reason to improve the quality of your messages, meaning, give her a reason why she should reply to your message specifically?

[PlumPrincess]

I am starting to thin that those people with social issues PREFER the online realm and delibrately avoid any real life fellow shipping with others in real life.

 

I mean, why be forced into a conversation with a man you meet in public, when you can run home, lock the door, and log into your Match.com account where you have complete control on who approaches you?

Right...

[fortyninethousand322]

So you acknowledge that women get inundated with messages from guys, but you see no reason to improve the quality of your messages, meaning, give her a reason why she should reply to your message specifically?

 

Let's be honest. That's a waste of time. People have been done experiments on these things. Message quality is a non-factor.

[TB Rhine]

Any chick over 18 has at least 1 kid, and he/she is "her world."

 

Ugly/plain-looking women in their thirties with a laundry list of characteristics any man with the stones to message them MUST possess. Because, you know, plain janes in their thirties can totally afford to be picky.

 

Women who love to travel. Guess who's picking up the tab?

 

Stupid Marilyn Monroe quote... if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best, et al. I'd like to see a male version of this: "I'm abusive, controlling, jealous, and every once in a while I like to get drunk and slap my girl around. But if you can't handle me at my worst..."

 

"Not interested in hook-ups or random sex at all..." ****, no kidding?

[sillyanswer]

I just wanted to start a list, and see if anyone else could add to it?

 

Some of the obvious things will already be covered in the 100 page thread pinned nearby.

 

Anyway, here's one:

 

Everyone has been to Machu Picchu.

[Mascara]

Men who tell you that their kid will always come above any woman.

 

Men who look like Michael Moore with a long list of physical requirements.

 

Men who say "no drama queens". All that tells me is that you attract them and are probably a bit of a d!ck to women.

[Balzac]

Oh that's an interesting factoid.

[Star Gazer]

Men who say "no drama queens". All that tells me is that you attract them and are probably a bit of a d!ck to women.

 

Hallelujah!!!

[will1988]

myspace angles...

 

duck face...

 

lots of pictures of the girl with a group of friends (always the less than attractive one)

 

always way too picky (must be rich, athletic, be a doctor, must love all 3 of my children, must own a new foundland dog, must own a yacht, must be extremeley "gifted", must love sappy girly movies, must dress fashionably but not like a fruit etc...)

 

Lots of married people ("We can only meet one day a month at 11:30 in the morning")

 

Lots of fake profiles

 

Lots of un-open-minded people (spouting stuff like "I'm a hardcore liberal... would never date anyone who believes that money is something earned!" or "I'm a hardcore neo con who believes that if you do not adhere to the good book you are not worth my time!")

 

 

Lots of "I'm super unique... I love fine dining, moonlight walks on the beach, laze around and cuddle up and read a good book!"

 

the list goes on...on...and on...

[fortyninethousand322]

Men who tell you that their kid will always come above any woman.

 

Men who look like Michael Moore with a long list of physical requirements.

 

Men who say "no drama queens". All that tells me is that you attract them and are probably a bit of a d!ck to women.

 

What if a guy puts on his profile that he prefers drama queens? Would that look good on a profile?

 

It's an interesting idea. Along with the "married men" issue...

Edited August 12, 2013 by fortyninethousand322