Star Gazer Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Yeah I preferred the ignore too. The only time I've ever got abuse is when I HAVE said "sorry no, but good luck". Got accused of getting his hopes up when he saw that he'd had a message from someone (can't win sometimes). I never contact first, but I've had enough rude responses to my "no thank you" emails. According to another poster in another ongoing thread, this NEVER happens. Men are NEVER rude in response to "no thanks" emails. I rarely initiate, but I've received some of those not-so-pleasant responses too... "Umm, yeah... I'm not going to drive an hour for you; I'm not that desperate." OUCH! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I never contact first. Right? This has been a bit of a topic recently, but it's another reason why I'm glad I don't either. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 but I've had enough rude responses to my "no thank you" emails. That's the only time I've had a rude reply, too. Some of the rejections to my initial messages have been to-the-point. I didn't think they were rude, but I can imagine some posters on here thinking "how dare she?!" or whatever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SugarLips72 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I have sent a rude message and they guy deserved it. He either had a really stupid sexual moniker, or douche pics (like the shirtless one with no face in the profile) or is married. If you are a douche and email me, you are going to get a rude bitchy response back. Most I ignore and just delete but if you are really asking for it, you may get a rude response back. Even if the person your friend emailed is way out of their league, I still usually do not sent a rude response back. I just reply back not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Cal Dude Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 My case doesn't really apply, but it did involve a message that was unnecessary if not rude. I get a random message on POF that says "hey", check out the profile and wasn't interested. She writes back 5 minutes later "guess not". That's probably the closest I've gotten. Link to post Share on other sites
Bigcitydreamer Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I'm not a fan of online dating. Tried it a few times and the only decent site seems to be match.com but I'm not paying for online dating. Maybe if I had more money it would be worth it.. I dunno. Anyways, I've gotten many rude people write me! I never wrote first but I would occasionally reply and essentially say thanks but not interested and good luck. I had multiple people write me back and call me rude and other things. I've also ignored messages as many women on this forum can attest to how many messages you get and to reply to them all would take too long. I've had men call me out on not replying. I've had them tell me they know I've been online and why do I think I'm better! It's insane and grosses me out in a way so I deleted my accounts on POF and OKC 2 weeks after starting them up. Link to post Share on other sites
SugarLips72 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 You kind of have to have a thick skin for online dating and ignore most of it. Some guys are going to take it personal no matter what you do. If they give me a hard time about anything I delete and block. I seem to get a lot of short guys or guys barely my height. I have in my profile I prefer taller guys and guys just don't care. I guess everyone thinks they are special and deserve a meeting. One guy that is 5 foot 4 has emailed me twice and apparently he has not noticed my height or has ignored it. I just blocked him rather send a rude response back. I'm not a fan of online dating. Tried it a few times and the only decent site seems to be match.com but I'm not paying for online dating. Maybe if I had more money it would be worth it.. I dunno. Anyways, I've gotten many rude people write me! I never wrote first but I would occasionally reply and essentially say thanks but not interested and good luck. I had multiple people write me back and call me rude and other things. I've also ignored messages as many women on this forum can attest to how many messages you get and to reply to them all would take too long. I've had men call me out on not replying. I've had them tell me they know I've been online and why do I think I'm better! It's insane and grosses me out in a way so I deleted my accounts on POF and OKC 2 weeks after starting them up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 You know, like you've sent them a nice normal first message on OLD, and in return you've got a really rude, obnoxious reply? IME, both many years ago and after my D, never. Sure, lots of silence sandwiches, but I don't consider that rude, rather an accurate answer relevant to their interest, which is zero. All of my contact messages have historically been sincere, appropriate to their profile, and unique. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 You know, like you've sent them a nice normal first message on OLD, and in return you've got a really rude, obnoxious reply? I sent a tongue in cheek response and got a scathing reply... The woman who messaged me had used every fairytale cliche' imaginable in her profile. Knight in shining armor, tall dark and handsome, sweep me off my feet, etc. She also went on about how she expected to be courted... fine restaurants, flowers, cruises, poetry, and so on. She was seriously delusional, not to mention a maintenance factor off the charts. She sent me about a 5 word generic teaser, which I assume she was sending to many guys. So I wrote her back and said that didn't think we were meant to be because my armor was dented and tarnished, my steed had been rode hard and put up wet, the alligators in the moat were hungry and irritable, somebody put a pea under my mattress and I haven't slept for days! And I ended by saying, and besides I'm not much a fan of fairy tales. That woman was as mad as a hornet. She wrote a looooong scathing message, called me every name she knew and said she was going to report me to the site and have me banned. Bless her little heart, she was precious. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Robster613 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I posted before about online dating sites not really working. I was using the free ones and really had little to no luck with them. I would like to find someone I can start a relationship with and maybe have it turn into something that can last. I have decided that maybe I should turn to one of the pay sites as a good alternative. So I ask for a 27 year old guy looking for something good, do I breakdown and use Match, or Eharmony? Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 There are smaller, niche paying sites where people have interests in common. Fitness or the arts or science, for example. Google. Link to post Share on other sites
SugarLips72 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 I had some luck with Match last year. The quality of people on there seems to be better than POF. E-harmony has a zillion questions you have to answer and nobody is chosen based on looks or race. I do not know of anyone who has had luck on e-harmony. Both my sisters used it and said it was garbage. They are white and got a lot of matches outside of their race requirement and nobody matched up they wanted to meet offline. Match occasionally has a Groupon look for it. I posted before about online dating sites not really working. I was using the free ones and really had little to no luck with them. I would like to find someone I can start a relationship with and maybe have it turn into something that can last. I have decided that maybe I should turn to one of the pay sites as a good alternative. So I ask for a 27 year old guy looking for something good, do I breakdown and use Match, or Eharmony? Link to post Share on other sites
mcfcjay Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Hi, I really struggle with online dating, i message like 50 girls and seriously i get 0 replies, but ive slept with alot of girls and its all come about the natural way, and 80% of them have been absolute stunners, my ex who ive just split up with after 3 years everyone wanted her she really was absolutely stunning. Im 20 on sunday, i have a great job with great income, a nice car, nice teeth (teeth are a big thing for me) and in my opinion i have a really good body on which i get complimented alot, although i never put pictures of my body on dating websites!! My problem is ill message a girl, wont just be like "hi how are you" itll be a genuine couple sentance long message, they look at my profile and then never reply... I dont understand what im doing wrong, the girls i sleep with are normally the ones ive been around for a while so they have got to know me most of them, im always the one out of the lads making everyone laugh etc... So, anybody got any golden tips?? Link to post Share on other sites
MrCastle Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 If you are successful in the real world why use online dating? The best tip I could ever give for online dating is: Don't use online dating 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosopher Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Hi, I really struggle with online dating, i message like 50 girls and seriously i get 0 replies, but ive slept with alot of girls and its all come about the natural way, and 80% of them have been absolute stunners, my ex who ive just split up with after 3 years everyone wanted her she really was absolutely stunning. So, anybody got any golden tips?? From what it sounds like you have had quite a bit success dating the old fashioned way. Therefore why don't you stick to meeting girls in person in the real world and use online dating as a back up. Link to post Share on other sites
mcfcjay Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Just come out of a 3 year relationship so bin out the game for a while, dont get me wrong the week after the relationship i slept with this gorgeous girl a couple of times but nothing came of it, none of the girls i sleep with are what im after, they are fit but i wanna speak to a girl before i get with her, ive only ever actually bin with one girl i slept with which is the girl i just split up with, she made me wait months to sleep with her coz i was her second lol, shame she was such a bitch, she was fit but damn she knew it!! and i dont really get time to go out into the real world, im a soldier in the raf soon to be off to afghan and could do with a nice girl to talk to whilst im over there!! i barely get time off work to do things the old fashioned way lol. Link to post Share on other sites
bacchius Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Since you responded to mine, I'll respond to yours. I don't agree with MrCastle for every case. If you're willing to put in the effort to get good at "day game" (getting numbers from the girl at the coffee shop or the grocery store or the park or the sidewalk) then yes, that's hands-down to be preferred over online dating. Once you've got momentum that way, you'll never be at a loss for opportunities. If you're not a pro at that, however, then getting the number can be 500x harder than actually impressing her on the first date, in my opinion. Furthermore, you said you've been out of it a while and are just getting back into it. Your time is better spent, I think, getting better at the dates themselves. I think online dating widens your opportunities to find good girls then, and yes you should also try to get better at striking up conversation and getting numbers in all the other venues along the way. To the question of why you're not getting online responses, you should study how to make an impressive profile and how to make a winning icebreaker message. Google these subjects. Speaking just of the icebreaker message, you have to cater each message to each girl. Keep it funny and light, less than fifty words I'd say, mention something on her profile, bust on her about something on her profile, then ask her something you're actually interested in. If it doesn't take 5-10 minutes to write, she's probably going to ignore it. Unlike men, the average women online is getting more messages than she even cares to read, probably. . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 So, anybody got any golden tips?? Tip 1) Read the 100+ page sticky thread on online dating right at the top of this forum. Tip 2) If you still have a question that isn't answered, post it in that thread. Link to post Share on other sites
bacchius Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Furthermore, if you can't really find anything useful on her profile to ask her about, then don't even bother sending the message. It's easy to get in the habit of lowering your standards of who you'll message and sending out lots of messages. This is a waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Here is a tip. If you asking the woman questions & she's giving one or two word responses & not asking you any questions, don't respond to her. she is most likely not interested. On the off chance she is, she will message you again & actually show some life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 Work on your spelling. Link to post Share on other sites
mcfcjay Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 my spelling is fine when i message girls believe it or not i put effort into them, i dont spellcheck everything i type on a forum though, whats the point you all understood me properly. Yeah phin i never reply if i get a one word answer, but at the moment i get no answers lol! I always go for the stunners though, what can i say im just not attracted to average girls, i suppose because my ex was a stunner that got attention from every lad she walked past ive raised my standards to not accept any less, even though she was a snobby cow who thought she was above everyone lol! Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted August 22, 2013 Share Posted August 22, 2013 my spelling is fine when i message girls believe it or not i put effort into them, i dont spellcheck everything i type on a forum though, whats the point you all understood me properly. Yeah phin i never reply if i get a one word answer, but at the moment i get no answers lol! I always go for the stunners though, what can i say im just not attracted to average girls, i suppose because my ex was a stunner that got attention from every lad she walked past ive raised my standards to not accept any less, even though she was a snobby cow who thought she was above everyone lol! You know what my openeing message is 90% of the time? "Hi, How's it going?" You know what I figured out? That me with a jawline is really all that matters for the majority of women. Women who ignored me when my face was a little roundish after I put time & effort into a message responded to me after I lost about 10lbs and had a jaw line & I put no effort into the message. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Mini rant: Woman adds me as a favourite. So I write to her. No reply. FFS! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Mini rant: Woman adds me as a favourite. So I write to her. No reply. FFS! Happens to me all the time. People "bookmark" for later reference to decide if they want to pay to join or, if a free site, who they should contact later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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