RedRobin Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 It means they want someone who looks good natural, not only when she has tons of make up on but they also like it if she enjoys dressing up from time to time. I don't know how sex and soulmate are mutually exclusive I suppose. The funny thing about that is... I don't know any woman who is going to self-select herself out of the first one. "Oh no! I look horrible in jeans...." or "I hate dressing up!" It's all so subjective... why even put it in there? and so ridiculously trivial. I dunno. Guys with that statement come off as shallow. And the last one... blatant BS marketing. Tell women what he thinks they want to hear like he actually wants a relationship... but really, he's just another man-whore.... Of course, guys like that can't just come out and say he's looking for casual sex and lots of sexy times... because it will look bad to the co-workers who happen to run across his profile. He still has to keep up appearances at his conservative workplace that he's an upstanding guy.... and since I live in a fairly small community... it is a pretty good guess I would know where he works... If I had another dime.... Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 .. if I had a dime for every guy who said something along the lines of... "looks good in jeans or dressed up" WTF? And the most common thing women say... "love the beach." I'm telling ya, a guy with a beach front cottage and most of his teeth should be beatin'em off with a stick. Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Based on these results... Are you going to keep the status quo, double your efforts, stop expecting different results or try something else besides O.L.D.? I dont solely use OLD. I was just letting phineas know that abs and a good profile wont guarantee any success online. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 And the most common thing women say... "love the beach." I'm telling ya, a guy with a beach front cottage and most of his teeth should be beatin'em off with a stick. yea, that is code either for a) she looks good in a bathing suit b) he does Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Many women profiles refer to themselves as in jeans or dressed up. Not sure why that phrase is being bashed. Nor why people who are trying OLD being bashed. Have no idea the basis for bashing people, nor why people bashing OLD profile people think they're any better. Haven't seen anything from the bashers to justify their self-perception as superior. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Girlfriend has insanely high expectations. I dont get why guys would even bother messaging someone like this Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 It's one very useful thing about profiles for men doing OLD. The many women who relate everything back to themselves, as expressed in the thread title, are to be avoided entirely. The few men who post similar profiles are to be avoided also. Lots of men make bad profiles with unrealistic expectations or whatever, sure, but the "making everything about what men are to do for me," is a mostly female trait in OLD profiles. Just a good screening tool, the worst ones are the ones who feel this way, but are wise enough to not put it in their profiles, so the ones who do are doing us a favor. Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I think you just have to accept that most of the misfits in the world, men and women, are lurking on these sites. It's actually quite helpful and considerate of them to reveal that unequivocally in their profile. The more difficult task is figuring out what's what with people who have excellent writing skills, good photos, etc., and yet are still a bit off somehow. There are lots of well balanced people on the sites as well but it's hard to differentiate them from the ones who are somewhat screwy and don't do anything obvious to tip you off. I LOVE this post. I dont think everyone on OLD is weird, there are some genuinely nice but busy people on there, but a good % of them are weird, socially awkward, have bad problems, are skeezers/trashy. The sad part is for us girls, sleazy guys dont always make it obvious on there and sometimes its hard to differentiate between someone who is genuine and faking it. I have looked at girls' profiles too and Im sure its the same for them. Theres a reason alot of the girls I meet are untrusting towards those they met online... Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I find it interesting these "Must haves" in dating profiles are all about what is you can offer them, but never what they have to offer you....at least that's the "tone" I'm getting out of it.....demanding instead of any kind of "loving" attitude. Anyone? Was she hot? I know what she could offer me - she wouldn't need to write it down. Definitely lots of princesses out there who think they are above everyone else. They'll probably get messages anyway if the photos are halfway okay. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I've checked out my competition. If I managed to make it past the shirtless pics of skinny-fats claiming they are athletic and down to the hallmark greeting card that is their profile.... LOL that was me for awhile until I worked out more often and switched up my profile description to make it sound like I partied every night. Reality was that I was usually home watching the History Channel and in bed by 10 but they didn't know that. Look good in your pics, have a fun profile description and send a funny message and you'll get dates online is what I learned. Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Then you factor in the fact there are many women and men who will not date someone who is currently OLD / has OLD due to the stigma (these people "try to hard" / "are deseperate" / etc.) associated with it. Not really, when I tell women (including my girlfriend) about my experiences online they think it's hilarious and typically have stories of their own to share about crazy/weird guys. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I read a profile today for a good looking man. He said all the right things -- successful career, misses being married, looking for a true connection, he's very romantic and old fashioned, he believes in communication, he wants to spoil and pamper a woman, take her on romantic weekend getaways, travel around the world, he is a good listener, etc. Under his requirements for a woman: "any" I guess he doesn't realize that we women know that means he just wants sex! Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I read a profile today for a good looking man. He said all the right things -- successful career, misses being married, looking for a true connection, he's very romantic and old fashioned, he believes in communication, he wants to spoil and pamper a woman, take her on romantic weekend getaways, travel around the world, he is a good listener, etc. Under his requirements for a woman: "any" I guess he doesn't realize that we women know that means he just wants sex! LOL Can't tell if you're serious or sarcastic about that one. When I was online and just wanted sex I would put down that I was there for 'casual dating' and didn't have a lot of time for a relationship due to my work schedule. It wasn't true, I hate FWB type of things, but there are so many girls looking for that (and only that) today that it was the only way for me to get dates. Link to post Share on other sites
SunsetRed Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'll never understand the online dating mentality. The men come on strong at the first meet/date and are upfront about expressing and asking for relationship needs. I personally think that a first date is too soon to be talking about all of that, but that seems to be the norm w online dating. I just think its odd and a little hypercritical for a man to ask a woman if she's relationship minded or not when he's actively seeking many women on match, eharmony, okcupid etc. Its almost as if they are saying "ok, do you want to be in a relationship/have sex," "No, not yet?, ok NEXT...how about you, do you want to be in a relationship, ok Next do you... Such a turn off. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 They are just trying to see if you are on the same page as them.... frankly I don't know what you expect to happen. OLD just sucks. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 They are just trying to see if you are on the same page as them.... frankly I don't know what you expect to happen. OLD just sucks. ^^^ Dating should be fun but most people don't actually "date". Dating is about getting to know someone, seeing if you have the same goals, morals etc. Asking someone what they're looking for should not be a turnoff. Why waste our time if we want different things? The only way to find out is by asking! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I think you need to go for what you want and I certainly don't blame you for feeling that way. The experience of most of us men though, is that we really have to sweep you off your feet during the first meet or there will be no second date. As in if you have just a "nice" time with us, then when you leave our presence, we will never get to see you again. We'll know it's not a match because you just won't return our calls and our texts. Nevermind that we drove out to see you or we went through the trouble of trying to show you a good time, if you aren't interested then very often you'll treat us as a non-person after the date, and won't even give us the respect of a straight answer. This can get old. Again, you need to go for what you want. But try to see things from our point of view too. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
all_cats_rgray Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Online dating can work... BUT you have to treat it like fast dating. 5 min what do you want. PEOPLE TREAT ONLINE DATING AS prostitution. Thats why they ask if they want a relationship or sex. Cause the worst is going on a date with someone because they just want to get laid. BTW if you want to be in a relationship and they turn you down, they are looking for sex. So be grateful, some pretend they are looking for a relationship. BE careful. Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 When a guy tries to sweep me off my feet I put my guard up. Most men that come on strong just want sex or are really clingy...or their interest will burn off quickly. Do women really expect that? I have told every single guy I met online that I wasnt interested in how I felt if they contacted me again after a date. If they pay for my dinner, I feel too guilty giving them silence. Some guys dont take it too well and appreciate my honesty however. I cannot stand it when people just ignore you. Its sad women's behavior cause men to feel this way... It's funny becuase people say when someone ignores you they're doing you a favor and showing you what kind of person you are so if I ever get rejected for a second date from a woman I like and she actually says xyz and doesn't ignore me I'm going to be like Noooooooooooo! lol Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 That's why meetups are wrecking OLD. Link to post Share on other sites
SunsetRed Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 That's why meetups are wrecking OLD. Exactly. I'm going to a meet up event this weekend. If I meet someone, good. If I don't, I still got to go hiking. It's just frustrating to get Nexted by a guy because I didn't want to start a relationship after one date. So he goes to the next woman who says Yes to being in a relationship and then 2 months later, he's still on the site because things that start quickly end quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
SuperGeek Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 (edited) I've cancelled all my online dating profiles because i'm tired of sending random stupid emails to girl #238 so that I can be guy #23872382 trying to get in her pants (or so she thinks by default). Not to mention, most girls are probably getting 200 emails a day from all kinds of guys and my note to them is like #173 THAT day and likely won't even get read. Lastly, do you know how depressing it becomes writing email after email to random women and trying to be original?!!? It's torture!!! Forget it! It's like buying a lottery ticket at the gas station but even worse! The lottery ticket actually has better probability of success than this online dating crap! Instead I've been going to meetups and that has been the most fun by far. I'm so sick of dating at this point that I'm done dating and I'm just going to have fun and be me. Never spending nights writing emails to random girls on a dating site again -- it is much more fun showing up to random meetups and running into interesting people. Online dating sites are such a waste of time. Total sausage fest and every girl is getting like 100 emails a day. Most guys have a better shot at ANYTHING going to a bar alone (compared to a dating site). SuperGeek Edited March 28, 2013 by SuperGeek 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BitterSweet2k Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 your expectations on OLD are just overwhelming... Link to post Share on other sites
Dangraystyle Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I was on OKC for a day when a girl contacted me first, we hit it off and now we've been together 4 months. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'll never understand the online dating mentality. The men come on strong at the first meet/date and are upfront about expressing and asking for relationship needs. I personally think that a first date is too soon to be talking about all of that, but that seems to be the norm w online dating. I just think its odd and a little hypercritical for a man to ask a woman if she's relationship minded or not when he's actively seeking many women on match, eharmony, okcupid etc. Its almost as if they are saying "ok, do you want to be in a relationship/have sex," "No, not yet?, ok NEXT...how about you, do you want to be in a relationship, ok Next do you... Such a turn off. I have zero interest in investing my time & energy into a 40yr old party girl / serial dater. So yeah I am going to ask someone what they are looking for. If someone is looking for marriage then we are both wasting our time because I have zero interest in re-marrying. If a woman doesn't know what she is looking for then why would I bother meeting with her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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