FitChick Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Some people might have better luck joining paid "niche" dating sites where you already have things in common. Google various. Here is a hint on how to save money subscribing: Check the Contact Us link which usually tells you who owns the site. The Dating Lab, for example, owns dozens. Check out a few that interest you and do a general search, writing down the usernames of a couple of people. Then check their other sites for that same username. If they are on several, join the one that is the cheapest. They can be all different prices for the same database of members. That is why you see the same people on many sites. They don't know they are on many sites. I've saved myself a fortune since finding that out and I always pass on the info to members who contact me via any of those sites. If more people migrate to the cheaper sites, the others will have to drop their prices eventually to compete. I'm a good detective which is probably another reason I have good luck dating online. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Why even pay when there's POF? Link to post Share on other sites
melaniechung292 Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 It's true. Online dating should be used as an additional method of finding dates, just as we use Facebook or Twitter as an "additional" tool to communicate with friends. Internet just made it easier for people to connect and "offline" communications will still be important. I think online dating is excellent for those who are too hectic or shy to find a date offline. If you're looking for which online dating services to join, this blog post could help. "Pros and cons of the top 3 old and new online dating sites": Date Advice by Jeannie: Pros and Cons of the Top 3 Old and New Online Dating Sites OR..."Top 10 dating sites": http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2012/12/the-10-most-popular-dating-sit.html I see on this forum that people claim they prefer one service to another, and criticize services they don't like, but people have different preferences, so it really depends on the person. It also depends on what type of relationship you want. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 The criticism is pretty universal from what I've seen. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 I use online dating as a primary way of getting dates. I'm too shy and clueless when it comes to approaching and talking to women in real life to get any dates out of that (5 years of college and I only "dated" one girl from offline). It's easier to email from behind a computer screen, meet up and hopefully hit it off. Unfortunately, OLD rarely leads to dates, much less relationships. At least for me. I've only met two women from Okcupid in 3 years of being on that site. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 There's one problem with that and that is.............. you lack balls. How can even date if you can't approach women? Even if you had a lot of dates it would be difficult to get a 2nd date with women. It's not that hard watch a guy next time going up to a woman and make the moves. Trust me, it's hard. I am friends with a very successful guy. In college he got all kinds of girls to date him or hookup with him. I had hoped in all that time hanging out with him some of it would rub off on me. Never happened. It's hard making it past "hi how are you?" for me. Whenever I try to move past that point I tend to creep women out. Not exactly sure why. That and I have no idea how to discern interest from genuine kindness. I often confuse the two. So, yeah. Maybe I lack balls, maybe I'm just dumb. One or the other... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 Correct. OLD isn't a silver bullet; it's a way to meet people that you wouldn't necessarily meet otherwise. There have been several people that I've dated for a month or two, but didn't work out for various reasons. or you wouldn't have dated. I think it's a lot of effort for very little return Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 7, 2013 Share Posted May 7, 2013 You're just too serious and tense. You need to lighten up a little. For all you know she might really like you and she's shy about it. Just joking around will help you lighten up. I used to be worse than you. I doubt it. I'm 25 years old and I've never kissed a girl, or (successfully) held hands with one. I'm a pretty big mess. And I joked around with my date last night. Nothing sexual or anything, but plenty of laughs all around. Still, though not going to be a date #2... Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 On an irrational whim, I signed on again on OKC tonight and I immediately felt sick/nauseous. I don't know why do I have this reaction, it's really weird. Now I can't disable it for one week, they won't let me. When I'm online I feel really anxious, when I'm not I feel much more calm. I need therapy Seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 From your recent postings, blueye, looks like one week will be all that it takes to justify your nausea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
colejack Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 I don't meet many women my age (24 y/o) nowadays, so I decided to try online dating. I originally signed up for match about 6 months ago but after a good number of emails sent out, I got zero responses. People told me that match was for an older crowd and to try something like POF or OkCupid instead, so I made a profile for OkCupid about a month ago. It's worked better but still not great. No one I've emailed has replied. I've at least gotten a few emails from girls (and gay guys too who were snooping around the straight guy profiles), but they're not the kinds of girls I'm looking for (nor were the guys). What kinds of things in a guy's profile and email catches the eye? I'm an attractive guy, can write well, and can slip some humor into my writing. A number of people recommended trying online dating because of these things. I have a load of diverse interests and activities I do, so I have a good deal to write about that makes me interesting. When I email a girl, I'll usually base it around something I saw in her profile that I can relate to. I'll ask her something specific about it and maybe include something funny about my experience is, like a 1-sentence anecdote or a light tease. It depends on what I notice about her. I'll always leave my first name, and if she gives her's I'll start the letter with her name. So, I'm not sure if I'm doing something really wrong. My profile is honest and light-hearted. It summarizes me pretty well while also setting some standards for a girl I'd want to date. Does anyone have any other tips to improve my online success? Link to post Share on other sites
outsidethebox Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 There's a consolidated thread on online dating that has a lot of discussion on this (and where this thread will end up). You obviously are doing everything right and it always comes down to standards. There are girls on there who would respond but you're not interesting messaging them, and the girls you message aren't interested in you. Maybe they're waiting for someone with a yacht to whisk them away, nobody knows. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 For me is age, location, and education level. Don't care what the message really says, unless is disrespectful. Link to post Share on other sites
colejack Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 There's a consolidated thread on online dating that has a lot of discussion on this (and where this thread will end up). You obviously are doing everything right and it always comes down to standards. There are girls on there who would respond but you're not interesting messaging them, and the girls you message aren't interested in you. Maybe they're waiting for someone with a yacht to whisk them away, nobody knows. Ah, just noticed the thread now. I'll wait for this thread to be absorbed into it. Generally, I find the whole online dating thing weird. I feel like I can show myself a lot better in person, though I'm sure everyone feels that way. Still, I haven't met anyone new in months and this is worth trying at least. For me is age, location, and education level. Don't care what the message really says, unless is disrespectful. Those three things are static for the time being. My education level isn't a problem and I only message women pretty close to me. It could be that girls my age on the site are looking for older and richer guys, like outsidethebox said. That's something I can't control, nor would I want those girls anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted May 8, 2013 Share Posted May 8, 2013 Does anyone have any other tips to improve my online success? Make sure you have good quality photos. I don't mean that you need to use a professional photographer, but neither should you take them yourself in the bathroom mirror. If you can describe some of your photos as all of "well lit" "taken outdoors" "smiling at the camera" and "not a tiny dot in the distance" then you're probably doing better than many other folk! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lamaga Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 What I find incredibly attractive is when a guy writes a sincere, intellectually stimulating and witty message that brings up a few of the things I mentioned on my profile. It's important to me that he knows how to articulate himself. I like humor and kindness and honesty too, and there have been messages like this in my inbox. Perhaps if you like some help, I can give you some advice. PM me? Link to post Share on other sites
colejack Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Make sure you have good quality photos. I don't mean that you need to use a professional photographer, but neither should you take them yourself in the bathroom mirror. If you can describe some of your photos as all of "well lit" "taken outdoors" "smiling at the camera" and "not a tiny dot in the distance" then you're probably doing better than many other folk! Photos might be an issue. I don't have many of me, especially within the last year. I actually do have some professional photos that look pretty damn good, but I'm reluctant to use one since the quality is a little too good for a casual photo. I also have a few funny pictures that girls I've known have loved and thought as cool and funny (Halloween and various sketch comedy costumes, goofy pics with friends, etc.), but those girls know me. Someone who doesn't know me seeing a picture of me in a bear costume might get a different idea. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 My advice is to use the professional photos, do not hesitate. Link to post Share on other sites
colejack Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 My advice is to use the professional photos, do not hesitate. I won't hesitate then. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
colejack Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 What I find incredibly attractive is when a guy writes a sincere, intellectually stimulating and witty message that brings up a few of the things I mentioned on my profile. It's important to me that he knows how to articulate himself. I like humor and kindness and honesty too, and there have been messages like this in my inbox. Perhaps if you like some help, I can give you some advice. PM me? I would love the advice, but I don't think I'm able to send PM's yet on these forums. Link to post Share on other sites
lamaga Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Photos might be an issue. I don't have many of me, especially within the last year. I actually do have some professional photos that look pretty damn good, but I'm reluctant to use one since the quality is a little too good for a casual photo. I also have a few funny pictures that girls I've known have loved and thought as cool and funny (Halloween and various sketch comedy costumes, goofy pics with friends, etc.), but those girls know me. Someone who doesn't know me seeing a picture of me in a bear costume might get a different idea. A photo of a guy in a bear costume is pretty adorable. Shows you have some humor. I would like it. I mean, a site like OKCupid is full of intellectual and witty people. At least I have had mainly good experiences on there. Of course it's always easier for a girl but still... The right balance of wittiness and seriousness is hard to achieve I guess, for somebody who is not used to these forms of dating. But as I said, if you need advice, pm me and I can give you more tips. I am the master of online dating, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
lamaga Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 I would love the advice, but I don't think I'm able to send PM's yet on these forums. I think you need to post more. I forgot how many posts you must make before you can do this but once you've posted enough, I'll check my inbox from time to time. Link to post Share on other sites
colejack Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 I think you need to post more. I forgot how many posts you must make before you can do this but once you've posted enough, I'll check my inbox from time to time. Alrighty then. Hopefully I'll be more senior of a member of these forums soon enough. Link to post Share on other sites
lamaga Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Alrighty then. Hopefully I'll be more senior of a member of these forums soon enough. Yeah just keep posting. Read some threads, reply to people when you think you can contribute meaningful, constructive advice, and BAAAM you'll be in the zone. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted May 9, 2013 Share Posted May 9, 2013 Are you model-esque good-looking? Is your humor on par with a professional comedian? Are you extremely tall? If you are not at least one of these, you'll have some problems. PS: Stop taking advice from women. They don't give good advice to men when it comes to dating. Link to post Share on other sites
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