Eddie Edirol Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I believe women in my area write goal oriented because they kept dating guys that were losers. And they are trying to hint that they want a guy that isnt what they had last time. When I was bothering with OLD, I noticed how many of the woimen listed things they wanted that seemed to be the opposite of what they had, some of them were even dopey enough to say they dont want what their ex bf was in their ad. Funny actually. "I want a guy that doesnt care about cars, football, and video games, someone who will tell me they love me in a week, and that doesnt need sex for the fist 6 months, and wants to have a big family because I want 10 children. I want to be a housewife and be completely taken care of, and pampered for the rest of my life. " Of course it was "What can you do for me" rather than "what I can do for you" all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
shexy Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 It's weird how common some of those buzzwords are in women's profiles: goal oriented, career oriented, hard working, driven. Also common are women who are: confident and independent. Those things just never sound right in a dating profile. Is this a job interview? I'm wondering if these things are the reason these types of women are single in the first place, because they've focused so much on success in their career that they have neglected their love life. I'd rather know about a girls interests and activities, personal philosophies and politics. Those things say much more to me about a person. I've never said any of those things in an OLD profile *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 On Match, I'd say around 1/3 to 1/2 of girls write the goal/career stuff in their profile. On POF it tends to be more like, he needs to have a job and a car. The other 1/2 get it write and talk about things they enjoy doing, or something unique or interesting about themselves. I never check out guys profiles so I'm just guessing that they don't talk about their jobs and how career oriented they are. Maybe we should since that seems to be what the girls are interested in. Although, I meet someone new every 1-2 weeks so something is working. Link to post Share on other sites
pyramid Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Odd, figured most women would want the man to make the first call... Yes, I prefer that they call me first. But if they give me their number first, it at least shows that they are interested in moving offline. If it's mutual then I just reply with my number. Link to post Share on other sites
irc333 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I was wondering, when it comes to online dating, does it pay to have more than one iron in the fire? Meaning, for instance....you actually have something going on with someone you met online, hadn't quite met yet....it's all in its infancy....you're satisfied you had at least gotten a response, even scheduled a first date...all the while you're been talking to someone else, too? Is it always good to have back up in case one flakes? Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Surely you've read enough threads on here by now to know that the answers will vary from "absolutely" to ":sick:" ? Link to post Share on other sites
daisybuchanan55 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Yes, if you're trying to be efficient, you should always have MULTIPLE irons in the fire to experience as many people as possible before committing. Some people believe you should only date one person at a time but I think that's unrealistic, silly and idealist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 ....But be honest and admit that you're casual dating, or dating generally, at the moment. Don't let people think that they're your only option - or that you need to be theirs..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Yes, if you're trying to be efficient, you should always have MULTIPLE irons in the fire to experience as many people as possible before committing. Some people believe you should only date one person at a time but I think that's unrealistic, silly and idealist. I agree 100% It's healthy and good to not commit to dating any one person exclusively until you are ready to get married and raise children with one person. It's good to get out and have an active social life with a variety of people and not be committed exclusively to any particular one. You can still follow your own moral compass and personal values. Just because you are going out with and/or dating multiple people doesn't mean that you have to be sexually active with all of them (or any of them for that matter) It just means you are getting out and having fun and getting to know a variety of people. As long as you are not promising or consciously implying exclusivity to anyone it is perfectly fair to date multiple people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I have few guys going until I start to really like one and know that we are on the same page. If I am really liking someone but sense that he is unsure, I will still keep my other options open. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 This is why people get hurt. some of you date five or more guys in a week, and the one you stay with is inevitably the one who pushes the envelope the most physically. You will have noted, of course, that the original question was posed by a man.... Cuts both ways, Greig.... (By the way, who were you, before? You're not new here.....?) Link to post Share on other sites
daisybuchanan55 Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I do plenty when I'm not dating, but I happen to enjoy socializing more than anything else. I love being around people and have lots of girlfriends but sometimes it's nice to get out there and have a conversation with a man. That's why I like dating. I'm not trying to hurt anyone. Also, it would be silly to think EVERY guy I go out with is going to like me. That's totally crazy! So I don't believe I'm hurting people the majority of the time. Actually, I think it goes both ways. We ALL experience rejection. I've been rejected so many times when a guy has picked another girl over me, and sure it hurt, but I'd rather experience the good and the bad with the hope that I will eventually find my ideal partner than take myself out of the game completely. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I have a question about OLD for the pros. How much conversation online is usually ideal before someone asks you if you'd like to meet up? I've been messaging someone online for the past few days, and we've had long conversations via messages. But it's getting to the point where I am wondering if this guy is waiting for me to ask him out, or is just plain not interested (why would he keep talking to me though?)?? I don't know. I am confused. I am starting to get impatient and tired of writing long messages, and if I lay off the long messages, he might think I am starting to lose interest. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I have a question about OLD for the pros. How much conversation online is usually ideal before someone asks you if you'd like to meet up? I've been messaging someone online for the past few days, and we've had long conversations via messages. But it's getting to the point where I am wondering if this guy is waiting for me to ask him out, or is just plain not interested (why would he keep talking to me though?)?? I don't know. I am confused. I am starting to get impatient and tired of writing long messages, and if I lay off the long messages, he might think I am starting to lose interest. Say you are tired of typing. Give him your phone number. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I have a question about OLD for the pros. How much conversation online is usually ideal before someone asks you if you'd like to meet up? Somewhere between a few messages and a few days (sometimes those are the same thing). Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Somewhere between a few messages and a few days (sometimes those are the same thing). Does the guy usually ask for the number ? Straight out ask for a meet-up? is it ok for the girl to give him the number or does that show too much interest? I don't usually like playing these games and am straightforward and give someone my number if i like him, but i want to play this right. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Well, I gave him my number at the end of my last mssg, saying, well, here's my number if you also want to talk in person.... He replied to my mssg, said a few things, then said: "Could always grab lunch or a coffee sometime. My number is..." We could... but he's expecting ME to ask him out? WTF? Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Imagine that, having to put in some effort. Well, I already put in more than enough effort, for this to even be worth it at this point. I sent him pages and pages of messages, and his were much shorter usually. He didn't bother to ask me for my number. When I did, all he did was just give me his number. Sounds like he just wants to lay back and enjoy the ride, not play ball. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Are you sure you're messaging a man? Sounds an awful lot like female behavior. Maybe he's one of those men who are so in-control at work, that they would like a woman to lead them everywhere and do everything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Well, I did my part, and said: "Lunch or coffee sounds like a good idea. You can pick the location." If he tells me no no, you pick it, or doesn't make any concrete plans, well, it would suck, I would've wasted so much keyboard life on this guy.. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Okay so I went on this date with a guy about a week ago (think I already posted about it somewhere). It seemed to go well. We had a lot to talk about and there was chemistry, although I wish I'd asked him more questions. So after the date I got in touch with him to say "thank you for the lovely date" and he asked me out again, but he is going on holiday for a week so won't be back for a wee while. I messaged him some ideas and left my number. He said "We'll decide on something when I get back. Thanks for your number. Talk to you soon". Does this sound promising? I don't want to over think this but I don't want to come on too strong either. Was it okay to give him my number? I am used to dating guys in the past who would come on super strong to begin with and they turned out to be bad eggs. I guess I am not used to normal guys so I can't tell if he's only half interested, or if he's just normal. Anyway, so what should I do now? Should I just hold back a little? I am worried that I came on too strong. We never kissed on the first date but I did want to kiss him. Made lots of little mistakes though. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I have a date for Wednesday. Hope it will be fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Okay so I went on this date with a guy about a week ago (think I already posted about it somewhere). It seemed to go well. We had a lot to talk about and there was chemistry, although I wish I'd asked him more questions. So after the date I got in touch with him to say "thank you for the lovely date" and he asked me out again, but he is going on holiday for a week so won't be back for a wee while. I messaged him some ideas and left my number. He said "We'll decide on something when I get back. Thanks for your number. Talk to you soon". Does this sound promising? I don't want to over think this but I don't want to come on too strong either. Was it okay to give him my number? I am used to dating guys in the past who would come on super strong to begin with and they turned out to be bad eggs. I guess I am not used to normal guys so I can't tell if he's only half interested, or if he's just normal. Anyway, so what should I do now? Should I just hold back a little? I am worried that I came on too strong. We never kissed on the first date but I did want to kiss him. Made lots of little mistakes though. Hm, can't really tell... The fact that he didn't ask for your number after you went out together, is a bit suspicious, but who knows, some men might just not risk asking for a girl's number so soon? I don't know. I honestly can't deal with people who are so slow to proceed with little things that show interest, like giving out/asking for numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
MarkDu Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Hi everyone I'm not a big fan of online dating, the online chatting process so frustrating, it's take a lot of time , not for me. any suggestion how to do it more easy and fun? Thanks Mark Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 OK, so I am going out on a date in an hour... I am a bit nervous, because it's my first time meeting someone from OLD... I am hoping this won't be awkward and especially, that he won't turn out to have gained 200 pounds since the picture he posted was taken... Link to post Share on other sites
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