Mister O. Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 My wife has dementia a serious case, she is also a diabetic which has also taken it's toll. My wife is 74 and I am 64 we have not had any (Physical) contact for over 2 years. I care for her and have compassion for her but the love that was once there is gone in it's place is a mind that has lost almost all. I am still young enough to enjoy the companionship of a woman maybe I am wrong but I have a female friend and we are super close she is about half my age and she is black which is not the point. She and I are super close although we are not sexually involved we both know it could happen and I guess we have accepted that but she has brought a bright area into my life which has not been there for some time I enjoy her company and she enjoy's mine I guess my question is this wrong? my wife's mind will never heal and she will never be as she was I am her cairgiver and her babysitter and that's all. Link to post Share on other sites
D87 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 That's a difficult scenario. I personally would want my partner to still have a life after me if I was sick to the point of not functioning. If it is possible to rationally talk to her about this, you should, doing things behind her back is not ethical. Link to post Share on other sites
princess_e Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Im sooo sorry to hear about your wife Its very good you havent abandoned your wife and are still taking good care of her, so in my opinion you def have the right to think about yourself a little too! The marriage has, like you said, changed poorly... it has deteriorated and is completely different from what it used to be. You may still be her husband.. but she doesnt understand that anymore (as u said her case is severe) ... As long as you continue taking care of her, you should be able to enjoy your life too.. dont feel guilty about keeping yourself happy too. Even if you tell your wife your plans, she wouldnt understand either... just do what you have to for yourself. If the roles were reveresed wouldnt you want her to enjoy her life too seeing as you could no longer really provide her with partnership, happiness, etc? even though she cant really understand it now, im sure that as your wife she would still want the best for you. being a primary caregiver is a tough job!! you deserve some happiness too so go and pursue it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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