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how to ease the hate inside me


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I have broke up with a guy who I dated for a year ,after I found out he had cheated on me the whole time. Amazing, I have found out about real him after we broke up. I still don't understand how could a person lies all the time about most of things to his girlfriends and his friends.. I'd never thought this could happen to me but it did.

After we broke up, his ex roommate and I started to hang out more and we even plan to marry next year after dating for just 6 months. I thought the love I have for my current BF should help me forgiving or forgetting about my Ex......but it isn't that easy.

I still have so much hate inside me. I still see him at our friend's parties since my best girl friend married his best friend. Everytime he tries to talk to me I start being so mean to him. I really don't want to be a bitch but I couldn't forget what he had done to me. How do I deal my emotion??

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dudesomewhere

i'm a guy...that said...why should you stop being a bitch to him. He's scum, treat him like it :D

 

and now to force myself to get some sleep...I should have been sleeping 3hrs 36mins ago

 

oops, hehe...here's an edit in afterthought. To be more I guess ZEN...for therapy I guess. Look to movies for inspiration :p . I just saw a movie called Sabu. It's Japanese and teaches patience and the like. Very intense though...it's an era movie. Shogunate :D

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ejuju,

 

Don't be so hard on yourself! He's an a$$!!! He cheated on you, he lied, he decieved you then he has the nerve to try and talk to you civilly? I am not so patient. I would probably do my best to tell EVERY girl around him what he did to you. Destroy his chances with any other girl before he destroys them too. As long as you are telling the truth.......what can he say?

 

Honestly? He does not deserve to be treated any differently. He will learn this (by the sounds of it) many, many times over his lifetime. The best thing that could happen? He has it done to him.

 

dudesomewhere,.........you are waaaaaaay to cool! Where did you learn to be so cool? You are going to make somebody very happy one day! You have very level headed responces to many of the posts here. I'm glad you're with us on Loveshack :)

 

Bubbles

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Well, as others have said, you have no duty to be polite to him. However, if the anger inside is bothering you, no worries. Just give it some time. It took me a long time to get over my ex cheating on me. And while I was stewing over it, I was very rude. Eventually, as time passed, the anger subsided a bit and as a result, I was neither rude nor nice to him. I just didn't care about him one way or the other. You'll probably eventually get there, too. But in the mean time, don't worry about being a bitch, or whatever. There's nothing wrong with being a little angry.

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In al honesty, I don't know what to tell you. I'm going through sort of the same thing... My ex-girlfriend cheated on me when I went out of town for a weekend. When I confronted her about it she hung up on me. When I called back she put some dude on the phone who said "can you call back later, you're interrupting me IT'S kinda in her right now" and she (or one of her friends) was moaning in the background.

 

Now, I know she probably didn't actually sleep with him but the fact che did that deeply bothers me. When I got back into town and called her, her friends told me that she had been sleeping with her ex-boyfriend for the past 6 months. I was crushed because he had been a problem in our relationship since the beginning (I hated him because he abused her and was still in her life). I didn't know what to do. That night some people who know and care about me trashed her truck and she tried to take me to court over it. I am so full of hate right now and I don't know what to do.

 

The problem is that at the same time I hate her, I still love her. She was my first true love and now because of what happened to her truck, she got a restraining order against me and I can't even talk to her. It would be sooooo nice if i could just talk to her and find out what really happened at least to know how I should feel.

 

I feel so unstable and torn apart. I can't sleep or stop thinking about all this. I wish I or somebody I knew had some idea of what to do. so I don;t think anything is wrong with you being mad or actin like a bitch.

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