kirkyswife Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Okay all is not well in the land of reconcilation bliss - after the 4th of July my husband took off to New York to take care of business, On Sunday I said something aggressive to him about sex and I knew he got mad, so the next morning I called him bright and early to apologize - I told him that I loved him and he said "do you really" and said Yes! Really! He had to go he told me that he would call me later that evening and he said I love you too and I haven't heard from him since. I've called him about 3 times and have received no return call, I know he's alright because I would have received some notification - I'm the contact person on his Insurance everything. So what is my next step? I can't stand to be ignored, I feel like it's the most disrespectful thing anyone can do. I feel like if he's not happy and wants to leave - he should be a man and say so. I don't know if I'm hurt or just angered at the fact that he's ignoring me and I have absolutely no idea why! I gave my sister his number and she's going to call him (they have a great relationship- he watched my sister grow up and he's protective of her) and find out what the deal is - hopefully he'll tell her the deal because I don't appreciate being treated like a annoying girlfriend - I'm his wife and I deserve a certain level of respect. Help me! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 I don't know if I'm hurt or just angered at the fact that he's ignoring me and I have absolutely no idea why! he might be laying low until he gets a handle on his feelings, or thinking this thing through so that he can communicate more effectively with you. Spouses have very unique styles of communication, and the longer you're together you start figuring them out. don't take it personally -- he's just got a different way of expressing himself to you. he's going to need a bit of breathing room to figure out his feelings, it's a very natural part of marriage, even if it drives you nuts at times. maybe y'all can talk things out, set up a kind of baseline for your relationship so that he knows you love him no matter what? that's one thing I've tried hard to do with my husband -- let him know that no matter how crabby or unpleasant I get, or flat just don't want to be his friend because he's pissed me off, the love part doesn't change. And because we're so very different in our approaches to handling things, it's been a very helpful tool you're gonna be fine, honest! Link to post Share on other sites
SingleInTheCity Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 kirkyswife You are strong Mami! You are my Ambassador of Patience & Understanding. I will be your Ambassador of Support and Strength. As always Nubian Queen - this too shall pass. You knew with all those years in separation getting together was going to be real challenge and so reflect and meditate on your feelings and make sure this is something you want to fight for. You have every right to throw in the towel and close this chapter in your life, or be patient and wait - regardless of what you decide - I'm here for you and the girls are on standby for whatever you need. Hold your head high and be peaceful - m'kay. I NUB NU C-A Link to post Share on other sites
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