Neveragain Posted July 8, 2004 Share Posted July 8, 2004 Ok, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes. I fell in love with a woman a little over a year ago, she told me that I was too good of a friend to lose if anything went wrong, which made the friendship worse than being burned alive. A while ago I brought the subject of us up again. I told her that shes said that I respect her like no other guy has, I've never tried to control her like others have, her mom likes me and so did her dad, I know more about her than anyone else, and I have always just accepted her for her, I know why she is the way she is and thats why I dont think anything would go wrong. She than said that right she's not ready for anything yet, she has her hands full with the kids and just wants to get her life straight but she has thought about us many times and shes just not ready. Last week she destroyed me and every dream I ever had, she got back with her ex boyfriend. But heres the thing, it's been 13 years since theyve been together until about a month ago. She has said they would have still been together if she didnt leave town after getting into a whole trouble. She has tried to avoid him since she got back here 1 1/2 years ago even though he lives 4 houses down from her mom. At first she did not want anything to do with him, he found her new address by lying to her mom. She has told me that he kept asking her to get back together with him, hes got a big empty house and she should move in, but she has said to me that she didnt care. He just left a 10 year relationship and she told him its just a little too fast, it sounds like a rebound thing. He said he never stopped loving her, she said she stopped loving him after he choked her. She has changed a lot in 13 years and doesnt take crap from anyone now. It just doesn't seem right to me, heres why: Her job is low pay, 2 kids to feed plus her oldest daughter is back which caused her to go into her rent money, and she maybe had no other choice. last week they went to a bar and started dancing when her leg gave out and now its in a brace for 6 weeks and cant go to work. She has been very Hones with me and she has told me that she has used guys before, so can she be using him too? if so, why wouldn't she tell me? Or is she really back with him? I told her that if she does find someone else, I wouldn't be able to stay because it would tear me apart to know that everything weve been through, and what she means to me and what I mean to her wasnt enough. And beeing there seing her with someone else would kill me and I dont want her to see me like that. I felt bad after she said that I'd throw away our friendship if she found someone else, I said its not like that at all. It could also be so she would have to find someons worth losing me for because she has been in awful relationships in the past. But I cant leave her. shes lost too many things she cared for and I cant let her lose anymore. she said I was her best friend and Im the only one that would have stayed through all her crap. I dont know how but I need to stay. SHe had to promise that if anything went wrong with them, ,she had to give us a chance because I am her best friend and stayed through everything and thats why we'ed make it. So this is why im here, if she isnt using him and does want to be with him, will it last? everyone ive talked to said it never does. What are your experiences? Link to post Share on other sites
kirkyswife Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I'm starting to think that NO they don't work. Once trust, respect and honesty has been tainted, the relationship never goes back to the "honeymoon" stage. He just left a 10 year relationship and she told him its just a little too fast, it sounds like a rebound thing. He said he never stopped loving her, she said she stopped loving him after he choked her. She has changed a lot in 13 years and doesn't take crap from anyone now This girl is destined for destruction and she's lacks good judgment. To put your children in that kind of situation again is ridiculous and WOW why would she believe that this man had changed? They should have spent some time getting reacquainted again and then moved into a relationship. She has been very Honest with me and she has told me that she has used guys before, so can she be using him too? if so, why wouldn't she tell me? Or is she really back with him? She is very toxic. She's been honest with you and admitted she used them right? Sounds to me like she used you as well for emotional support, the person who listens to all her drama and loves without judging. I'm sure she's using this Dude and it will turn volatile and she'll find herself back in the crying/cuddle/I just want to die syndrome and you'll be there to internalize all her drama. Honey, I really think this girl is garbage and you should cut your losses, I hope you don't find out just how grimey she is before you put those feeling into dating someone who is emotionally and spiritually reading. I told her that if she does find someone else, I wouldn't be able to stay because it would tear me apart to know that everything we've been through, and what she means to me and what I mean to her wasn't enough. Stay where? Can you elaborate? But I cant leave her. shes lost too many things she cared for and I cant let her lose anymore. she said I was her best friend and Im the only one that would have stayed through all her crap. I dont know how but I need to stay. SHe had to promise that if anything went wrong with them, ,she had to give us a chance because I am her best friend and stayed through everything and thats why we'ed make it She's lost things because her karma is kicking her butt. You know God don't like Ugly. What disappoints me the most is that you would sit and wait to see if her relationship with her ex will work and she told you before that she considers you a friend. Do you have WELCOME or DOORMAT written across your face. This person is very selfish and lacks self esteem. You really wouldn't be happy with a chick like this in the long run - she'll cheat on you, lie, and ultimately break your heart. YOU ARE ENOUGH - she just won't see it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Neveragain Posted July 9, 2004 Author Share Posted July 9, 2004 Originally posted by kirkyswife She is very toxic. She's been honest with you and admitted she used them right? Sounds to me like she used you as well for emotional support She has only used guys who have hurt her. I'm sure she's using this Dude and it will turn volatile and she'll find herself back in the crying/cuddle/I just want to die syndrome and you'll be there to internalize all her drama. If she does, It's not going to be that easy. I'm just going to tell her that she destroyed me and I can't go through that again. I'm not going to put her back together just so she lets someone hurt her again. Honey, I really think this girl is garbage I met her at a time in her life when she just wanted to start over and I know what I seen in her was amazing, and is still in her, but I just think she has no other options left right now. Stay where? Can you elaborate? I ment stay as her friend Link to post Share on other sites
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