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Interested in a very close friend (kind of long)


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Hey all,

Now I've heard from many people that friends even close ones can develope romantic interests?

Well anyways here my situation, I have a very close friend that i have known for over 6 years about half of it being interested in her, now there is no real problem in how we get along we both get along great and have similar interests, we all go to the same church and she is very close to my family especially my mother, in fact she's always doing things with me and my mother. Now the problem she did find out a couple of years ago that i was interested in her, we did talk about it and she said that she has a lot going on (she was working full time and working on her masters at the same time and was very stressed)and didn't want any more things to think about and she really didn't want to be rude to me and embarass me in front of other people, and my response was basically: "Look I am your friend and yes I do find you attractive, but we are at differant levels and if I was more established I would've harassed you for a date." She laughed about the last comment and seemed to relax a lot, however she was a little upset when I said that "Look your at a higher level than I am because I'm still starting things." then she said: "Please don't say that." Well that was couple of years ago. The other problem is that she's 32 and I'm going to turn 26 in a few months she finished her masters degree and makes quite a bit of money($30/hr) me I'm just barely started i'll be working on my bachelors soon and have ok job ($10/hr).

Since the past few years me and her have been even closer friends we almost treat each other like brother and sister, and recently I talked about why she isn't married she said she intimidates men and mainly because she's only looking for companionship and not really looking to raise a family and she'll only get involved with people she knows well, and then I told her well if I was more established I'll definately ask her out, Then she said: "What you afraid?" I said "No its just that you are well established and I'm just starting on my first legs." then she said "Well it shouldn't matter I grew up with my mother making more than my father and my mother was the breadwinner." The last comment she made has started making me think but I also try not to dwell too much on it, If things were more favorable I would definately start dating her, but I also feel a little inadequate right now to offer her anything. Any advice would be greatly appreciated sorry about the long post folkes

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"Well it shouldn't matter I grew up with my mother making more than my father and my mother was the breadwinner."

 

This comment from her makes me think that she is interested in dating you. Normally, if women aren't interested in a man and he shows interest in her, she will be very careful not to say or do anything to encourage him.

 

Don't be scared-just ask her out. Or discuss the possibility of taking your relationship to a different level. Don't let any feelings you may have about being inadequate because of your income or education get in your way. The man doesn't always have to make the most money or have the biggest degree.

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Ye gods, man. She opened the door wide and all you had to do was walk in!!! Not only did she say she didn't mind, she even equated you to her dad!!! Don't let any more time pass wasted, silly fellow. She essentially said she wants you!

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  • 7 months later...

Well I'm gonna attempt a leap of faith, after months and months of thinking and spending more time with her I've decided to try asking her out on date it won't be a serious date just a casual one just to have fun with her I usually don't have problem asking ladies out on a date but she feels different and I'm thinking maybe its because she is a close friend and we know each other very well (even she said she'll only date somebody she knows well first). And she's also gave out another hint I think, unless I'm taking this the wrong way, me and her was talking about how a 60+year old man was hitting on her and I joked about it and she said, "Why is it old men, 5 year old kids and dogs that always hit on me?" And then she said, "Make them at least 25." (I'm 26 by the way and she is 33).

 

So I'm thinking this is a sign? Well anyways any suggestions I'm thinking flowers and asking her once I return her CD collection she let me borrow back to her on Valentine's Day.

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