Seeking Advice on a New Relationship, with Blockades and Twists

[Dante]

After being cheated on while in a serious relationship, and planning marriage, with a girlfriend of six months, I managed to get past all of the symptoms and all of the phases and move on. I found a nice girl my age and am quite attached to her - I'm one of the ones who becomes attached quickly - and she seems to like me quite a bit.

 

There are some blockades, however, in the way of a more serious relationship. A few of them:

 

The first and foremost one is, she's rich. I'm not exactly what you'd call rich, I'm just well off. She is rich. However, she doesn't -act- rich, she acts normal, and so she's a normal person, to me. No offense to any of you rich people. Still, I have a hard time figuring out how to treat her because we come from different classes of society, and it's usually a stumbling block through most of our visits with each other and our conversations. A stumbling block I've yet to stumble on, but consistently have to remind myself to step over.

 

The second, perhaps even more serious one, is she has another... friend, with amorous intentions. She's known him for months, and she is a kind of equality girl - she wants to give him a chance, the same as she wants to give me a chance. This other friend of hers is flying from California as I type this to spend the weekend with her until Sunday. She doesn't believe in love at first sight, but I'm afraid if this other man sweeps her off her feet, she won't give me a second glance.

 

I'm going to be away for the weekend, anyway, in a completely different state. If I wasn't, she has still told me she wouldn't want to forget about her company, so, she would spend time only with him over the weekend. It's not that she wants to ignore me, or doesn't like me - we talk every day - it's just that she feels it would be rude of her to abandon him, or to juggle both he and I at the same time.

 

She let me kiss her a few days beforehand, after I'd finally worked up the courage to do so. What was even more surprising to me, after a long minute of silence, was her kissing me back. I don't know if the implications that run through my mind of her kissing me back are the same as the ones that run through hers, but it was an intimate time for the both of us, though we didn't go any further.

 

However, the next time we spent time together, she denied me access to her lips, saying that there was a block in the way, the block being the intrepid adventurer-friend from California. Beforehand, I'd thought he was just her friend when she'd told me about him - not a similar interest. Had I known, I'd have thought a lot longer before kissing her. Perhaps I'd not have even done it.

 

But she said she did not regret me kissing her, and certainly not her kissing me back. She became rather intimate with me, though there was no sexual contact, while I gave her a requested backrub. All over her back, to put it simply. From her neck to her toes. No area was to be left untouched, that's as mildly as I can put it.

 

We did not kiss before, during, or after this, but I felt there was some kind of a meaning behind her asking me for something of that nature. I foolishly asked her about it later and she scoffed it off as being a simple backrub that she'd needed, and been very thankful for. She wasn't displeased that I'd asked about the seriousness of the action.

 

Anyway. Her adventurous Californian friend is arriving at her house shortly. And I will be departing from mine tomorrow. Over the weekend I have no idea what is going to happen, but I wouldn't stake my life on my chances to win her heart after he gets to spend an entire weekend with her, staying on her property.

 

I'm posting this looking for advice, tips, and perhaps pointers on mistakes that I've made thus far. I do not intend to give her up without a fight, but I usually have a good idea of when I've lost.

 

I guess we'll see on Monday when I return.

[beetledriver2]

This is way to weird for me. When my fiance and I met, we felt a connection. So much, that it was hard to keep our hands off each other. Girls know what we want. If we're attracted to someone, we will definitely let you know. This whole kissing thing is so immature. She may have been caught up in the moment with you, but I think she's just pulling your chain in hopes of not hurting you. When my male friend from new york visits, my fiance is by my side hanging out with us. If my fiance wanted to hang out with a "friend" and not have me around, it's would be a pretty good tell-tale sign for me to move on.

 

You don't deserve to be treated this way. I don't want to hurt you but if she wants to be with you, she would not be hanging out with this guy. You're basically giving her permission to screw you over!! You said that you're not giving up without a fight. Why would you fight over this kind of girl? Why don't you fight for your right and get a girl who would never do this to you? Never belittle yourself for other people.

[Dante]

I really like her, and she has said the same about me. But maybe you're right. It wouldn't surprise me, I've done the same thing in the past. I don't do it anymore 'cause it ends up hurting the person even more. Anyone else have anything to say about this?