Trapped and alone

[JeremyMark]

Hello there.

 

So let me begin by saying that me and my current gf (S) have been dating for about a year now. And I love her very much. But just this year, we've been having a lot of complications.

 

For example, she gets very insecure very easily no matter how hard I try to reassure her of what she gets insecure about. And usually after solving a problem, it goes fine for a few days and then BAM- It comes up again. I've tried really hard, and sometimes, I dont know what to do.

 

Another thing is, she has quite a number of problems with her studies and her family and friends. She tells me things like her family is treating her like a maid and force her to do all the chores in the house while her sister and brother laze around. How she is forced to put up with yelling and arguments for things she didn't do. Also, she has fights with her friends and how they mistreat her and things.

 

She also has suicidal tendencies due to the problems she faces. I have tried to talk to her about it, but she refuses to talk. She says that killing herself will solve everyone's problems. She has overdosed on muscle relaxants before and constantly does it. I tell her to stop but she doesn't want to listen to me. She constantly tells me nothing will solve it but suicide. I have told her to talk to people, or me about her problems, but she feels as though its her problems and no one is allowed to help her, as she must face it herself.

 

But the one thing that has been always started a fight is that I still have my ex-gf(N) that follows me on my Twitter account. I dont know why she gets emotional about this as I do not have feelings what so ever for my ex. Yes, we are friends, but I have never talked to her since the break-up.

 

Every time we fight, she chooses to ignore me, and I have to do all the patching up. Every time she does something wrong like overdosing on those pills, I dont get angry but instead I become concern and worried and I tell her nicely yet sternly to stop doing so. I advise her.

 

Recently, Ive been feeling if this relationship is really worth all this trouble but I dont want to break up with her because I have never loved another girl like her. I just dont know what to do and Im constantly in a state of confusion and there is no one to turn to.

 

Thank you for reading this. I just felt like I had to tell someone about this. It would be nice if you could share an experience similar or any advise on what I should do. Thank you once again.

[Quiet Storm]

The suicide threats and her constant need for reassurance made me think she may have Borderline Personality Disorder. Borderlines have an ingrained fear of abandonment that often causes them to need constant reassurance, jump to conclusions and make baseless accusations. Suicide attempts, threats or self-harm are common in those with BPD.

 

I would read about this disorder and see if the symptoms fit.

 

If she has it, it is very hard to treat and I would advise you to move on. You life will be filled with constant drama.

 

Regardless, she needs way more help than you can provide. You can't change her or save her from herself. She will drag you down with her.

 

It's okay to love someone and choose not to be with them. Love doesn't mean you are obligated to tolerate this. You need to think about you and what you want for your life. It will be hard to make the break, but it must be done to protect yourself from future drama & heartache.