Mount Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Just wondering for your experience, when you try to break off A with MMs during NC period but have to deal with MM, will your negative/angry attitude help? Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 I think if you continue on with your life and don't engage with him your better off. If you work or run into him be brief and as you were before just treat him as another person. Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Mount, I think the phrase, "to each his own", comes to mind, when you ask that. It's an energy that may help some to get the end, started. I have to say, my emotions have been all over the place, at any given moment. But, yea, anger was definitly what got me out of the gate and running. I won't repeat my story, but oh yea, I was pissed. LOL Now, I am mostly angry at myself for being a dumba$$. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Just wondering for your experience, when you try to break off A with MMs during NC period but have to deal with MM, will your negative/angry attitude help? Complicated question. Anger and negativity are not healthy emotions in general and one should try to minimize them and not try to conjure them up. However, if you believe that that rush of energy can help, then use it to change. The fear is it takes over and dominates your life - or further isolates you from try enjoying a happy life. I do not know how to help you strike that balance. My suggestion would be to be angry at YOU. Externalizing this anger solely on him has tendency to 1) minimize your responsibility (and inhibit personal growth) and 2) allows the anger to persist longer (it's easier to be angrier longer at others than ourselves). Look in the mirror and get angry. You'll forgive yourself sooner than him. This is the time to lean on friends and family. To look into the dark recesses of your heart. While scary its also primed for personal/emotional growth. Don't let this time slip by. Use it. It leads to a happier life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mount Posted July 19, 2012 Author Share Posted July 19, 2012 What I really meant is that due to unavoidable work situation when I deal with MM at work, somehow I talked to with angry emotion. Complicated question. Anger and negativity are not healthy emotions in general and one should try to minimize them and not try to conjure them up. However, if you believe that that rush of energy can help, then use it to change. The fear is it takes over and dominates your life - or further isolates you from try enjoying a happy life. I do not know how to help you strike that balance. My suggestion would be to be angry at YOU. Externalizing this anger solely on him has tendency to 1) minimize your responsibility (and inhibit personal growth) and 2) allows the anger to persist longer (it's easier to be angrier longer at others than ourselves). Look in the mirror and get angry. You'll forgive yourself sooner than him. This is the time to lean on friends and family. To look into the dark recesses of your heart. While scary its also primed for personal/emotional growth. Don't let this time slip by. Use it. It leads to a happier life. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 What I really meant is that due to unavoidable work situation when I deal with MM at work, somehow I talked to with angry emotion. Are you asking if getting angry at MM at work is a good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 As I suggested before - quit that job! Get a new job - one where you don't have sex with the married boss. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 If YOU don't CHANGE the situation - expect it to be the same or even get worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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