D87 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 (edited) First off, please no judgmental replies. My problem (if you can call it that) started during my first serious relationship when I was 18. Everything was great for the first couple of years, but after that, I just had a very strong desire to have sex with another girl. My girlfriend wanted to experiment with girls too since she lost her virginity to me, so we eventually found a girl to be our "girlfriend". This 3-way relationship lasted about a year, I felt like I was on cloud 9 most of the time. I loved having threesomes and felt satisfied for the first time in my life, it was just such a rush for me making love to two girls and my orgasms were much stronger. The biggest turn-on for me was watching my girlfriend with another girl and then joining them. We lived together at one point and had threesomes almost every day (sometimes several times a day, thank God for birth control pills lol). Eventually my girlfriend broke up with me because she didn't want to keep having threesomes and wanted to settle down, but I just couldn't. So I began dating the girl we were having threesomes with. The same thing happened again, I just couldn't get excited for regular 1 on 1 sex. It seemed so normal and boring after all the threesomes. Eventually we met another girl and began a sexual relationship with her. This was a couple of months ago, me and this new girl started really connecting on an emotional and intellectual level and my girlfriend started acting very jealous and insecure (the new girl is absolutely gorgeous and very intelligent, that's probably why). At this point, I think my girlfriend wants to break up because she knows I will never settle down with her. I really like the new girl, but I'm worried that she too won't be able to fully satisfy me alone. I do want to get married and have kids, but I feel like to be truly happy I would need to find a bi-sexual wife that would be OK with sharing me with a girlfriend and having threesomes at least twice a week. How difficult do you guys think finding such an arrangement would be? I know there are instances with men having multiple wives (like that show sister wives, who are all hideous btw... why would you want 3 ugly wives and especially when they only have sex with you 1 on 1, that defeats the whole purpose lol). What I want is for it to be more of a 3-way poly-amorous relationship with me having a wife and a girlfriend. Sorry for the long post and I would be grateful for any feedback Edited July 19, 2012 by D87
InJest Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 That's going to be really hard to find. A three way relationship where everyone is equally satisfied? Come on dude, you see the pattern already. Get real. 1
LostGirl11 Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 It's not going to happen. Why do you need one of them to be your girlfriend? Why can't you have a threesome with two single girls? 3
Negative Nancy Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I think you are a degenerate who's influenced by porn. I'm sure you'd be okay with your future wife bringing another man into the picture too then? 4
Author D87 Posted July 19, 2012 Author Posted July 19, 2012 That's going to be really hard to find. A three way relationship where everyone is equally satisfied? Come on dude, you see the pattern already. Get real. It is difficult to find, but I'm convinced its possible. During my first relationship the three of us lived happily together for a year. I think I should date younger girls maybe, the issue seems to be that girls my age mid to high 20's, want to get married and have kids in a monogamous relationship. I proposed to her that I would be fine getting married and having kids as long as we continued having girlfriends, but she didn't want to I think you are a degenerate who's influenced by porn. I'm sure you'd be okay with your future wife bringing another man into the picture too then? I checked some of your other posts and you're definitely very bitter and depressed person. When was the last time you gotten laid or had fun in your life, all you do is post here all day criticizing everyone. Get a life.
Janesays Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 It is difficult to find, but I'm convinced its possible. You are? Then why did you start a thread asking questions that you're already convinced you have the answer too? What a waste of time. 2
pteromom Posted July 19, 2012 Posted July 19, 2012 I proposed to her that I would be fine getting married and having kids as long as we continued having girlfriends, but she didn't want to Then she's not for you. If this is important to you, having a poly relationship with two women, then that's what you should look for. Don't settle for someone who doesn't want the same thing. I don't think it will be impossible to find, but I do think it will dramatically reduce your potential matches. It's all about what is most important to you. If this is so important to you, that you are willing to be single and alone while you search for it, then go for it. It's such an odd thing to be looking for, you'd probably be best off getting into some swinging/poly communities and being very upfront about what you want. All that said, know that having a relationship with three people is going to add another strain. Yes, the sex is probably very hot, but in a wife/gf situation, there will be times in your life when you may not be having much sex, and there will need to be a mutual respect and EXCELLENT communication between all of you in order to make it work long-term. Also, you'll need to find people who are very very laid-back and not jealous at all. 1
Author D87 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) Then she's not for you. If this is important to you, having a poly relationship with two women, then that's what you should look for. Don't settle for someone who doesn't want the same thing. I don't think it will be impossible to find, but I do think it will dramatically reduce your potential matches. It's all about what is most important to you. If this is so important to you, that you are willing to be single and alone while you search for it, then go for it. It's such an odd thing to be looking for, you'd probably be best off getting into some swinging/poly communities and being very upfront about what you want. All that said, know that having a relationship with three people is going to add another strain. Yes, the sex is probably very hot, but in a wife/gf situation, there will be times in your life when you may not be having much sex, and there will need to be a mutual respect and EXCELLENT communication between all of you in order to make it work long-term. Also, you'll need to find people who are very very laid-back and not jealous at all. Thanks for the great advice, I will definitely keep looking. For me its definitely not just about threesomes, I also really enjoy when three people share that special bond and it just adds a whole level of excitement to the relationship. Everything is just so much more fun with three people, especially going away on vacation. It's like being on a vacation with your significant other and a really special friend but a lot more because that friend is also your lover, and I love watching the girls laugh and flirt with each other, it's like all your senses are doubled (maybe its a sort of a "high" to me with all the endorphins being released lol). I just don't want to marry a girl and have a family with her who wouldn't be into it... and then a year or two later start going crazy when she wants to remain monogamous. Edited July 20, 2012 by D87 1
pteromom Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 He's going to piss off a woman big time one of these days. Why? As long as he's honest and upfront about it, a woman knows what he wants and should be able to say "this isn't for me". Whatever makes him happy... doesn't matter to me!
Leopard Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Oh wow. I honestly have no idea. Once you've lived the "fantasy" then it's pretty hard to go back to "normal". So I truthfully don't know what to tell you. If you want marriage and kids, then you are going to have to be in a monogamous relationship for that. Imagine your kids watching a third wheel become part of the relationship. How do you explain that dynamic to a child? You could try finding someone who would be willing to have an open relationship, but understand that also means she can sleep with other men since you can sleep with other women. 3
Leopard Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Leopard: He doesn't want equality. He's seperated from reality. I would be too if I could have two hot boyfriends who didn't mind each other 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 You've go to keep yourself out of relationships first off, you may have been satisfied during that year...it may have been blissful for you but for them it was likely something entirely different and maybe it got old and one just grew out of it...cause let's face it you're just one guy and it's two girls you get to be with. Stay single, don't become too emotionally invested with women and be upfront about your expectations. You're going to want to be a cake-eater by having a real relationship as a safety net and a guaranteed person to participate in threesomes with you but really that's just not going to work after a period of time...you were "lucky" to have had your situation last as long as it did with two live-in women who were open and ok with having threesomes on a regular basis but you have to realize most of these women are going to be insecure and lack self value, be all screwed up in what they think of love is and what not. I don't think its right or fair to the women expecting them to be committed and in a relationship or even married. You've got to fly solo in this endeavor, set up your life the way you want it and don't bend for it just because you see an easy situation. You're a man, and you're one of the "fortunate" enough to have experienced what most other men only dream of having and will scorn and envy you for being lucky enough to have it but just don't be open and vocal about in your real life, keep that life personal and to yourself obviously you will be judged and criticized and the man always takes the blame for women being emotional, that's just the way it is and always will be as women are accepted by society to not be able to make competent decisions with good judgment over emotions...so as men you'll always be seen as an abuser and user just because of what it looks like from the outside even IF you truly cared and "loved" these women to a degree, nobody is going to care about that than the moral bottom line...so avoid the drama and the mess and do your own thing or face the consequences of your actions like every man does in a relationship and tries to cake eat. I personally don't believe in polyamorous lifestyle, I think it's a sham and pseudo relationship...something that's a time bomb waiting to blow, eventually you'll meet someone you're going to connect with on a more emotional level whether unintentional or not and there goes that trust and love you thought you had..you're playing with fire in human nature, because human nature in a man alone doesn't have many guidelines, that lustful state of mind and desire will be an unquenchable thirst the more you feed into it. It's all about accepting the reality instead of trying to convince yourself that you can bend the rules because in the end you'll lose. 6
morichu Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 LOL this thread is awesome. I don't even know what to say nor do I even know what the question was much less if this was just a chance to brag about some crazy fantasy that was actually acted out 1
KathyM Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Don't bother to get married. You're not cut out for it for the long haul. And please, don't bring children into this lifestyle. They'll be screwed up, confused, and won't have the stability they need in life. You seem to be the type that needs new women in his life from time to time. Children don't do well with the adults in their lives coming and going like a revolving door. Just stay single and find single people who are interested in the threesomes you seem to think you need. 3
Author D87 Posted July 20, 2012 Author Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) You've go to keep yourself out of relationships first off, you may have been satisfied during that year...it may have been blissful for you but for them it was likely something entirely different and maybe it got old and one just grew out of it...cause let's face it you're just one guy and it's two girls you get to be with. Stay single, don't become too emotionally invested with women and be upfront about your expectations. You're going to want to be a cake-eater by having a real relationship as a safety net and a guaranteed person to participate in threesomes with you but really that's just not going to work after a period of time...you were "lucky" to have had your situation last as long as it did with two live-in women who were open and ok with having threesomes on a regular basis but you have to realize most of these women are going to be insecure and lack self value, be all screwed up in what they think of love is and what not. I don't think its right or fair to the women expecting them to be committed and in a relationship or even married. You've got to fly solo in this endeavor, set up your life the way you want it and don't bend for it just because you see an easy situation. You're a man, and you're one of the "fortunate" enough to have experienced what most other men only dream of having and will scorn and envy you for being lucky enough to have it but just don't be open and vocal about in your real life, keep that life personal and to yourself obviously you will be judged and criticized and the man always takes the blame for women being emotional, that's just the way it is and always will be as women are accepted by society to not be able to make competent decisions with good judgment over emotions...so as men you'll always be seen as an abuser and user just because of what it looks like from the outside even IF you truly cared and "loved" these women to a degree, nobody is going to care about that than the moral bottom line...so avoid the drama and the mess and do your own thing or face the consequences of your actions like every man does in a relationship and tries to cake eat. I personally don't believe in polyamorous lifestyle, I think it's a sham and pseudo relationship...something that's a time bomb waiting to blow, eventually you'll meet someone you're going to connect with on a more emotional level whether unintentional or not and there goes that trust and love you thought you had..you're playing with fire in human nature, because human nature in a man alone doesn't have many guidelines, that lustful state of mind and desire will be an unquenchable thirst the more you feed into it. It's all about accepting the reality instead of trying to convince yourself that you can bend the rules because in the end you'll lose. I think it worked well for a year because the girls had very strong feelings for each other as well, it just got to the point when my main girlfriend wanted to settle down, marriage and kids just with me. Same thing is happening with girlfriend #2 right now unfortunately. So my focus is to find a girl who would be OK settling down but still want to continue dating girls. We don't have to live with the girlfriend, so I don't think it would affect the kids because they only have a mom and a dad.. the other girl is just a "family friend" as far as they are concerned. I know some people may not be OK with this and a lot of guys are jealous, but I'm not sure how this impacts their life to even care about how many girls I have lol. I've gotten so many looks at restaurants and when we were all on vacation together taking photos and they both hug and kiss me, etc. I actually kind of enjoy the attention, I won't deny it. And there's the whole new romantic aspect of it, especially during the holidays where we all try to give each other cute gifts and I always get two cards celebrating holidays and anniversaries =) We did have feelings and I don't feel like they were used in any way. In regards to my ex girlfriend who left me, I helped her get a good job through my connections and paid off her car loan so she wouldn't have to worry about it. I'm a pretty nice guy, I just have a weakness for threesomes and three-way relationships. As far as having a wife and a girlfriend, of course they need to get along and have a connection with each other. The girlfriend could be younger and she would know that its temporary with her and I'm with my wife at the end. I think it would be fair, I could certainly support and mentor her, maybe even help get her through college (not in a sugar-daddy kind of a way, but in a loving supporting way). She could travel with me and my wife and see the world, have amazing experiences, and amazing sexual relationship with both of us. This is the way I see it... Edited July 20, 2012 by D87
Els Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 Well, good luck with that. Some suggestions that I can think of would be to go into the poly/swinger/alt-sex lifestyle. You still need to have a lot to offer, as there are far more men than women in the lifestyle, but if there are any women who would be happy to have constant threesomes, you'd find them there. Failing that, accumulate a lot of money and visit prostitutes. If you pay them well and treat them decently, they will often be willing to accommodate. Failing which.. you could try Mormonism, I guess. 1
Seneca Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 OP it's possible! If you want you can also have more than one wife. Polygamy is still around and I know a guy who has five wives and a lot of kids. And despite what some of the posters here say... the kids turned out ok. The guy himself came from a polygamist family who runs a successful business. Has good work ethics and is very kind. So BS to most of the posters here. As for the wife and gf thing. I think it sounds pretty cool. Again don't listen to the nay sayers because they knock on things that they have no experience in or have never tried. Good luck bro.
without Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 I think you're settling down, only 2? I'd go with 4. Alot more fun believe me.
Els Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 OP it's possible! If you want you can also have more than one wife. Polygamy is still around and I know a guy who has five wives and a lot of kids. And despite what some of the posters here say... the kids turned out ok. The guy himself came from a polygamist family who runs a successful business. Has good work ethics and is very kind. So BS to most of the posters here. As for the wife and gf thing. I think it sounds pretty cool. Again don't listen to the nay sayers because they knock on things that they have no experience in or have never tried. Good luck bro. You need to learn to read. The poster doesn't just want two wives, he wants one 'main' wife and one 'fun girlfriend' that he and his wife will have threesomes with and his wife will interact sexually with. The vast majority of polygamous relationships are in very traditional/conservative cultures/religions that do not exactly practice bisexuality or threesomes. If he wants the threesomes, he is going to have to go down the alternative sex route instead of the polygyny route. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted July 20, 2012 Posted July 20, 2012 How about you get a gf who wants two men and see how you like it?
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