Craig16 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I still have massive feelings for my ex who dumped me 3 weeks ago. We went no contact but she contacted me and asked me if we can work things out i agreed, a couple of days later she changed her mind. So we went no contact again and a few days later she broke it and asked me if we can work things out again, i agreed and yet again a few days later she asked if we could just be " friends " which i agreed on, now your all probably thinking " why are u wasting time on that bitch" but the truth is i want her back, we have been through so much in our 2.5 year relationship. The reason she dumped me is because she didnt want to be in a relationship she wanted to get away from it all. So now i am up to the point where i am waiting for her to text me because im not texting her first. I just wondered how shall i react to her when she texts me? my friend told me to act " cold " to get her back, and give her short careless replies he told me this would make her miss me more and piss her off a bit too because im normally very nice to her on text. Could anyone give me advice on this or my situation, Help would be very appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
hinatticus Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Wait for wilsonx's reply. You'll get the hard truth. My opinion is that you have no boundaries. She's walking all over you. We dont know the reason for the break up or ages involved. But just from what you wrote, you're letting her walk all over you. Back burner, second choice, comes to mind. There's a time and place to be the puppy dog and your situation isn't it. Good luck tho. I feel your pain. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NoneoftheAbove Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 You should tell her not to contact you again. What shes doing to you is unhealthy. Grow a pair and step up to this girl. Tell her to stop playing games. Either youre wirh me or youre not. Its that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
hinatticus Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I wanted to edit my last post. We know the reason for the break up. Gigs. Ask wilsonx. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I still have massive feelings for my ex who dumped me 3 weeks ago. We went no contact but she contacted me and asked me if we can work things out i agreed, a couple of days later she changed her mind. So we went no contact again and a few days later she broke it and asked me if we can work things out again, i agreed and yet again a few days later she asked if we could just be " friends " which i agreed on, now your all probably thinking " why are u wasting time on that bitch" but the truth is i want her back, we have been through so much in our 2.5 year relationship. The reason she dumped me is because she didnt want to be in a relationship she wanted to get away from it all. So now i am up to the point where i am waiting for her to text me because im not texting her first. I just wondered how shall i react to her when she texts me? my friend told me to act " cold " to get her back, and give her short careless replies he told me this would make her miss me more and piss her off a bit too because im normally very nice to her on text. Could anyone give me advice on this or my situation, Help would be very appreciated. You can't act "cold" to get her back, because she would leave again soon enough. Her indecision and push and pull routine is caused by something going on with her... you cannot do anything to fix it, and by being a doormat you are wasting your energy and time. She left for a reason, and if she is being vague about it, you need to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 dude this is pathetic. don't even reply. u won't follow that advice though b/c, well like i said, it's pathetic what's gone on here. gl. Link to post Share on other sites
JesseMartin Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Regardless if you want to get back together with her or not, having a strong identity and strong boundaries is not only healthy, it is attractive. Right now you're conforming to her terms. I want you to chose your terms, stick by them, and have her conform to them, OR NOT. Don't let "I want her back" be your starting position. You want to be in a relationship with someone that reciprocates your feelings. If that's not how you've been acting, it's because love is blind. But rationale can always transcend feelings. It's time to take control my friend. Decide what your boundaries are, and commit to them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jason02 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 This is exactly what happened in my situation. If u read my post this is the real end. We have exact same situations. I'm about to go meet with her and either she is going to say this is the end or let's just be friends. Your not alone in this. Stay strong and let her know your not going to wait around. That's what I'm going to do. Link to post Share on other sites
YorickBrown Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 I still have massive feelings for my ex who dumped me 3 weeks ago. We went no contact but she contacted me and asked me if we can work things out i agreed, a couple of days later she changed her mind. So we went no contact again and a few days later she broke it and asked me if we can work things out again, i agreed and yet again a few days later she asked if we could just be " friends " which i agreed on, now your all probably thinking " why are u wasting time on that bitch" but the truth is i want her back, we have been through so much in our 2.5 year relationship. The reason she dumped me is because she didnt want to be in a relationship she wanted to get away from it all. So now i am up to the point where i am waiting for her to text me because im not texting her first. I just wondered how shall i react to her when she texts me? my friend told me to act " cold " to get her back, and give her short careless replies he told me this would make her miss me more and piss her off a bit too because im normally very nice to her on text. Could anyone give me advice on this or my situation, Help would be very appreciated. Hello fellow newbie! For awhile there I thought I was reading my own post:confused:...we kinda have the same uhmm..."issues"...really almost the same, except for the numbers...I've been on NC = No Contact now for about a month..well 3 weeks, 3 days..12 hours...anyways, you get the picture...NC should also probably mean NO COUNTING!!! Well, here's my advice, ACCEPT that it's OVER. AVOID her if you can. NEVER CONTACT her again. DONT REPLY. ERASE EVERYTHING. I know this is hard, I cannot do it myself (yet)...I even thought of deleting my Facebook. Im still thinking about it really. Link to post Share on other sites
skyneel Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 (edited) his is an old game chicks always play after they end a relation, either by being dumped or the one doing the dumping, they will at times try and contact you... just to see what your up to. this is because women are historically nosy, plus it also tells them by how fast and how often you reply back if they still have their claws in you. Edited July 22, 2012 by skyneel Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig16 Posted July 22, 2012 Author Share Posted July 22, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the advice guys, its made me really think about the situation. Ive been so in love with her its just blinded me i havent noticed how much of a doormat ive been, the whole relationship hasnt been me being a doormat its just been the past 2-3 months. I know its pathetic whats gone on it really is, but thats what no contact does she feels like she misses me but then once she see's me again for a day she doesnt miss me no more. Im thinking of limited contact im not sure though. I also want to tell her that i regret being her doormat is this a good idea? Edited July 22, 2012 by Craig16 Link to post Share on other sites
g450 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 You said: Im thinking of limited contact im not sure though. I also want to tell her that i regret being her doormat is this a good idea? What the hell for. For real? NO not limited contact, NO contact, of any kind. You dont need to tell her a damn thing, you need to tell yourself to knock it off already. As Jono85 said, You are the typical new poster that asks for advice, gets it, and then proceeds to ingore it. You are playing games with her. We all know you will continue to do so, so why even bother keeping this thread alive? Link to post Share on other sites
smint Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 The same situation is happening to me right now,expect I am a girl!!! My boyfriend left me 4 months ago(after 7yrs od relationship),he treated me like a crap,I was chasing him,begging him-I was his doormat,and then in less then two months I heard that he is already dating someone,so I stopped every contact,and guess what???He is the one now who is sending me messages on Facebook,on phone,on mail-how I am,what's up...I heard that his relationship(rebound)is not ok,he has problems with parents because of her...anyway I was shocked when he contacted me,but I have to stay strong.NO CONTACT!!!NO REPLY!!!Let her feel her own medicine,let her wonder,don't even think of any kind of contact!!!My advice!!! Their behavior just shows how selfish and insecure they are,be strong,we are up to much better things!!! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 I still have massive feelings for my ex who dumped me 3 weeks ago. We went no contact but she contacted me and asked me if we can work things out i agreed, a couple of days later she changed her mind. So we went no contact again and a few days later she broke it and asked me if we can work things out again, i agreed and yet again a few days later she asked if we could just be " friends " which i agreed on, now your all probably thinking " why are u wasting time on that bitch" but the truth is i want her back, we have been through so much in our 2.5 year relationship. The reason she dumped me is because she didnt want to be in a relationship she wanted to get away from it all. So now i am up to the point where i am waiting for her to text me because im not texting her first. I just wondered how shall i react to her when she texts me? my friend told me to act " cold " to get her back, and give her short careless replies he told me this would make her miss me more and piss her off a bit too because im normally very nice to her on text. Could anyone give me advice on this or my situation, Help would be very appreciated. Whatever way you go you are going to get hurt.If you continue with your ex the hurt is going to be drawn out and with that hurt you are going to feel insecure because she is not stable and hurt will be drawn out.You are emotionally invested in wanting to reconcile and ready too do just that she is not invested in your relationship. I would suggest ripping the band aid off your hurt..go no contact...dont draw it out so you add insecurity to your emotional pain......you are the one who needs space.You dont need a game plan.You need to be firm with what you want out of any relationship and be with someone who has similar plans for their love life.Invest in a sure thing not in a situation that is always changing values..........feel supported in knowing you will decide what is best for you......in time...and there is always somewhere and someone on here who might be able to give you fresh perspective and a bit of support.......never feel down at negative advice take what you need to feel good about yourself..disregard the rest..good luck.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig16 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 Thanks for everything guys sorry i didnt take all your advice earlier. But we have gone no contact now we are 2 days into NC, but i know she will contact me soon as she always does :/. I agreed to be friends and i told her i dont hate her, but we are not contacting eachother thats my part of the deal. I met up with her the other day and had a quick 10 minute chat then we went separate ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 Thanks for everything guys sorry i didnt take all your advice earlier. But we have gone no contact now we are 2 days into NC, but i know she will contact me soon as she always does :/. I agreed to be friends and i told her i dont hate her, but we are not contacting eachother thats my part of the deal. I met up with her the other day and had a quick 10 minute chat then we went separate ways. yup, didn't listen. u agreed to be friends, yet u think that's no contact? man oh man. some never learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Craig16 Posted July 25, 2012 Author Share Posted July 25, 2012 (edited) yup, didn't listen. u agreed to be friends, yet u think that's no contact? man oh man. some never learn. No mate u dont understand we both agreed no contact but we said we would be friends this was last week which i said this on a text which i regret and if i could go back and change it i would, but when i agreed it ment in the future realisticly even though i dont think we will we both know that. If she tries to contact me as a friend in the next few weeks then i will tell her i dont want to be friends right now which she probably will because she never keeps to anything, she always misses me and has to talk to me. Edited July 25, 2012 by Craig16 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 No mate u dont understand we both agreed no contact but we said we would be friends this was last week which i said this on a text which i regret and if i could go back and change it i would, but when i agreed it ment in the future realisticly even though i dont think we will we both know that. If she tries to contact me as a friend in the next few weeks then i will tell her i dont want to be friends right now which she probably will because she never keeps to anything, she always misses me and has to talk to me. No, if she contacts you in the next few weeks, you DON'T REPLY! You don't need to TELL someone "we aren't friends" you can SHOW them by not engaging them in conversation. Come on, you have gone against the advice you were given and you regret it. So try to follow it now! You are just setting yourself back by giving into any of her contact attempts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted July 25, 2012 Share Posted July 25, 2012 What do you think will happen if, say, you change your phone number (and don't tell her the new number?) What's the very worst that can happen? Link to post Share on other sites
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