Wondering where the money is going

[Sugar_Cube]

Hey all, I have a question and would like peoples opinons to this situation. I'm posting for a friend of mine that doesn't have a computer. Her H had a really good job with insurance etc. He has been at the same job for years now. A about a month or two ago he tells her he is going to quit his job and do some work with his dad. His dad has his own buisness. He doesn't have outside insurance because he says it will cost to much for that. His dad, even though he owns his own buisness doesn't provide for them outside insurance either, not sure why. Anyway he gets paid every week in cash. He isn't getting paid what he made before at his other job. He gets paid working with his dad according to how many jobs they do, I guess if buisness is slow he wouldn't be making alot no way.

 

Here's the thing, when he does get paid, my friend says he doesn't put anything in the bank. Not in checking or savings, nothing. They pay their bills usually by check. So since his not putting any money in the bank they aren't able to really pay the bills. Occasionaly they will go and pay in cash or a money order. The thing is she told me when she asks her H wheres the money he is making with his dad, he sometimes becomes defensive. He told her if money was that big a deal when he gets paid he will give her the money to hold. Out of the mast month or two he has given her money one time which was a total of about 350 dollars that's it. She said she has gone to the lenths of even checking his wallet to see if he has any money in there. Sometimes theres a certain amount and then the next day its no longer there. He told her he can't account for where the money is going. Now to me that doesn't make much sense.

 

Just the other day they got a notice about their phone being cut off for not paying the bill and another notice as to them being kicked out of their home for their lot rent not being paid in about 2 months. Shes at her wits end because she doesn't know where the money that he is making is going. Even though hes not making alot right now seems to me he should at least be putting it in the bank. She just told me last night her H told her the reason hes not putting any money in the bank is because it will get gone for this and that, such as eating out, etc. I don't get it. Anyway, sorry this is so long, but if anyone has any insight as to what they think may or may not be going on please let me know, thanks.

[Matilda]

How does this husband think bills are going to get paid without money? Is the wife supposed to be responsible for all the bills? Is she working? This doesn't make any sense. If they can't pay their bills, then it sounds like he needs to get his old job back, or get another job to supplement his current income. Something's not right here.

[Sugar_Cube]

Hi, thanks for your reply. She is a stay at home mom. so she doesn't work right now.

 

He told her he was thinking of going back to his old job a few weeks ago but hasn't done so yet. I don't really understand any of it either. She said that sometimes she takes care of the bills and there are times he does.

 

The reason she found out about the lot rent not being paid is that they called and told her that it had not been paid since April. She also said he had been telling her that he had being paying some bills. Eveidentally not. So I guess she went on the assumption that he had been paying some bills until they called and told her otherwise. I can't make heads or tails about it either.

 

I told her I thought she should get him to right down everything he spends money on. Be it for bills, eating out, clothes, etc. Then maybe he can account for where its going. I just don't get why he won't put it in the bank period. He's holding it, somewhere anyway.

 

She says he sometimes becomes defensive when asked wheres the money going, and will make comments to her like, "Go get a job then."

 

Thanks for your reply.

[shamen]

Something is definitely wrong... Is she sure he's not doing drugs? Horrible thought, I'm sure, but just a suggestion.

 

She's got to get past the defensive thing and find out the root of the problem. She needs to talk to him!

[Sugar_Cube]

Hey shamen thanks for your reply. She has asked him if he was doing drugs and he told her no. They were seperated a few years ago and he admitted to doing some then. He is also in a band and sometimes comes home from practice with bloodshot eyes and smelling of cigarette smoke. He doesn't smoke. However when she asked him why he reeked and had bloodshot eyes, he told her that the other band members smoke cigarettes and pot and that when they are at practice the room is heavy and thick with all the smoke etc. So i don't know. Thanks for your reply.