Dad got his affair partner pregnant Now what

[turnera]

I do understand your viewpoint. Especially at your age. You're going to need a good bit of therapy to deal with your anger at her for not defending you, and your guilt at your anger. While it should all be directed at HIM. Big stuff. I get it.

 

I'm suggesting you make the fight because it will help YOU. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but in the long run, over your whole life, the situation is going to drive you to....something...if you don't make a decision one way or another.

[NoMagicBullet]

Ska, you're not a terrible son. You've tried and tried and tried again to help your mom, to no avail. So have other fmily members. She's made a career out of lying for him and hiding his abuse of her and her children. Even after 30 years of this, she still refuses your help and won't leave. I'm not sure why certain posters are ignoring what you are posting and telling you to help your mom when you've already tried.

 

My two cents: you've done what you can, and it's not your fault she won't leave. If you feel like letting it go now, I think it's okay. You have to do what's best for you now. I'm sure if your mother changed her mind and asked you for help, you wouldn't refuse her. But I don't think she will ever change her mind.

 

What you did in telling the other woman about your dad's deceit was awesome. You're my hero! The pictures may have been harsh reality, but this woman needed to see proof with her own eyes. At least now she has knowledge about the situation that she didn't have before, and she can make a better-informed decision about what she wants to do next regarding your dad.

 

I hope the fallout from this isn't deadly, but things have already been deadly where this man is concerned. Like others have suggested, be prepared to call the police if your dad comes after you or anyone else.

 

Wishing the best for you and your family, Ska...

[Ska]

Thanks. I really hope she let's me help her... I've got her number and she has mine. We're both under different names (one reason for that is I'm named after my dad.) so if he goes through our phones he won't figure it out.

 

I really liked her she was nice, as weird and as wrong as it sounds she's the type of girl I'd date.

[MuscleCarFan]

Thanks. I really hope she let's me help her... I've got her number and she has mine. We're both under different names (one reason for that is I'm named after my dad.) so if he goes through our phones he won't figure it out.

 

I really liked her she was nice, as weird and as wrong as it sounds she's the type of girl I'd date.

 

Do you know if she is going to try to get child support from your dad?

[ja123]

I just don't think they want to get involved with this new baby, or help this girl.

 

I think you probably want to help for, at least, three reasons:

 

1) You're a good person. It is through your own suffering that you don't want to see someone else suffer.

 

2) To mess it up for your father. It would be satisfying to see the girl leave him.

 

3) Because maybe the girl will listen to you and leave your father. Maybe she will listen to you, and you will have been able to help; unlike how your mother hasn't been able to listen to you.

 

I've lived through conjugal violence. The pain is indescribable.

 

Keep strong for yourself.

[Ska]

Do you know if she is going to try to get child support from your dad?

 

No idea, I sure as hell hope so. We only talked about the baby a little bit, most of the time it was about him...

She apologized to me, she had no idea, I told her it was ok she didn't do anything, he did.

 

I've been thinking about it, and maybe my dad isn't as ugly as I think... Maybe for me it's his personality.

 

She seems to really be in love with him, I just don't understand how two attractive women can both fall for his bs...

[Miss Clavel]

With any luck, he will divorce your mom because the babymomma's parents are gonna insist.

 

It's a win-win. God knows your mom is paralized with PTSD and can't think straight and no amount of threats, violence or tears is gonna move her.

 

However, the babymomma is gonna move your dad, into divorce court.

Edited August 3, 2012 by Miss Clavel
you told her?

[Ska]

With any luck, he will divorce your mom because the babymomma's parents are gonna insist.

 

It's a win-win. God knows your mom is paralized with PTSD and can't think straight and no amount of threats, violence or tears is gonna move her.

 

However, the babymomma is gonna move your dad, into divorce court.

 

Yea, I figured someone had to...

[Ska]

She text me and told me she broke it off, but she told him it was me and she's so sorry. I told her it was fine, I'd be ok.

 

Then he called "watch your back, Kid. You never know what might happen. I've never liked you anyway. If you want to play this game I've got no problem with it. You know I'll beat your ass every time." I told him it Was cool with me 911's an easy number to call. He said "p****" and hung up.

 

He's right though my 6'0 and 155 pounds have nothing on his 6'6 and 235 pounds of muscle.

[turnera]

Be careful! You may want to report it as a threat to the police so they have a record.

[MuscleCarFan]

I definitely agree! You should report your Dad for threatening you!

[Ska]

I've thought about it, I'm not sure though. He loses his job my mom loses money he gives her, and my sister loses the money he's been giving her for food and her house payment.

 

Dealing with him is a lot easier than putting her in that situation.

[pink_sugar]

I read this and thought you were living with him? In any case if things get more serious or he really does hurt you, please keep in mind the money situation isn't worth your life or you getting hurt.

[Ska]

I read this and thought you were living with him? In any case if things get more serious or he really does hurt you, please keep in mind the money situation isn't worth your life or you getting hurt.

 

No, I've been out of there since I was legally able to.

[turnera]

When my husband moved out of his house with his abusive dad, his mom soon moved out, too, with her other two kids in tow, and moved themselves all in to my husband's place. So he basically raised his brother and sister and supported his mom. Worked 3 jobs to do it.

[Ska]

When my husband moved out of his house with his abusive dad, his mom soon moved out, too, with her other two kids in tow, and moved themselves all in to my husband's place. So he basically raised his brother and sister and supported his mom. Worked 3 jobs to do it.

 

I'd love to do that, but can't.

[Radu]

She text me and told me she broke it off, but she told him it was me and she's so sorry. I told her it was fine, I'd be ok.

 

Then he called "watch your back, Kid. You never know what might happen. I've never liked you anyway. If you want to play this game I've got no problem with it. You know I'll beat your ass every time." I told him it Was cool with me 911's an easy number to call. He said "p****" and hung up.

 

He's right though my 6'0 and 155 pounds have nothing on his 6'6 and 235 pounds of muscle.

 

Talk to a lawyer, and maybe have the details of this call with him.

Calls are recorded by phone companies anyway.

Just in case something happens.

 

I don't think he will do anything, sounds from what happened that he is the type to beat up those that can easily be beaten up.

 

But he could show a moment of smarts and talk to someone to beat you up.

 

PS: The girl sold you out so he would leave her alone, i hope you know this.

[Ska]

Talk to a lawyer, and maybe have the details of this call with him.

Calls are recorded by phone companies anyway.

Just in case something happens.

 

I don't think he will do anything, sounds from what happened that he is the type to beat up those that can easily be beaten up.

 

But he could show a moment of smarts and talk to someone to beat you up.

 

PS: The girl sold you out so he would leave her alone, i hope you know this.

 

If she did that's fine, I don't want her or more importantly my little sibling to get hurt.

[William.]

Well Ska what exactly are you going to do about all this, there's so many ideas and ideals you have gained from all this suffering but similar with me we both know not all those ideals would become reality. I'd say you're out of this mess more or less but what about your siblings can you really help them or your long gone mother, is there a point where you stop trying or are you going to soldier on, would bringing this to court help? Maybe telling all this to someone who CAN bring this matter to court would do the trick seeing that your mother has lost herself so so long ago

[Abystarswoman]

I've thought about it, I'm not sure though. He loses his job my mom loses money he gives her, and my sister loses the money he's been giving her for food and her house payment.

 

Dealing with him is a lot easier than putting her in that situation.

 

Putting her in that situation is a lot easier than putting her in the ground because he went too far and killed her.

 

Just saying.

[shayla]

So the other woman threw you under the bus? Ugh, what a skank. Does she realize what danger she put you in?

 

She could have given him any reason, she could have said that she googled him and found out about him being married....I now question her integrity, she isn't as innocent as she seems.

[Ska]

My sister called this morning, she was over there yesterday and my mom told her what happened. In my mom's words "so maybe she'll dump him and he'll see he should stay here with me and maybe he'll realize he needs me." so I don't think she was told the whole story.

 

She asked if I was ok I told her yea I'd always wanted to learn to sleep with one eye open now I had a reason to. She laughed, she knew I was kidding. She said she was proud of me for doing that, no matter what happens I always put the other person first. I didn't have to help that girl, but I did.

 

She asked about turning him in I told her I didn't want my mom to lose her income, or her to lose her support, or my brother his tuition (I expect to be cut off sometime soon) she said " first of all don't worry about mom, she's chosen to stay with him. He could beat you guys and she never did anything about it. Why worry about her? Secondly, *our brother* is fine. Did you know he gives him more money than both of us?" I told her yes I did. "and then there me, who you should be most worried about (she was being sarcastic) I've been thinking about giving this back to the bank. The boys and I will come to your place, sleep on your floor, and eat all your food." I told her they could have my room. She replied "eww no, who knows who's been in that bed." I laughed. She said "I hate to tell you this but you sound exactly like him on the phone." I told her I knew that too.

 

She told me she was really sorry she left me there. She was afraid to get involved, and she always felt guilty for not stepping in.

 

Then I asked her my last question "do you Think he'd ever kill me?" I could hear her getting choked up "I have no idea."

 

Then we talked about her kids and said our goodbyes.

[dreamingoftigers]

Finances are a really miserable reason to allow this to go on.

 

My family has very serious financial concerns.

 

Are there any underage children at your parent's place right now?

[Ska]

Finances are a really miserable reason to allow this to go on.

 

My family has very serious financial concerns.

 

Are there any underage children at your parent's place right now?

 

No, I'm 22, my brother's 26, and my sister is 31. The only minors are my nephews who both live with my sister.

 

Any reason why?

[Ska]

I walked out of my house last week and noticed all four of my tires were slashed. Then suddenly, I got slammed against my car... I looked up and there was my dad. We started to fight just like I thought he was winning. My neighbor saw and called the cops.

 

They pulled up and arrested him, my neighbor took me to the hospital. I have two cracked ribs and a Concussion. The police wanted me to identify him and press charges. I didn't though..

 

My mom called me screaming and crying while on her way to get him from jail. I'm dead to her, if I come anywhere near her husband she will call the cops and I better stay away from them. Finally I'm a coward.

 

My aunt brought me some food and told me she'll pay my rent and just focus on school. My sister went over to their house the next day and they were cuddled up on the couch. My mom got up, got her what she needed and told her to get out. My mom had a black eye and a fat lip. She went right back to him and did the same thing. My sister didn't get close to him but said his chest looked bruised. My sister looked back as she left. He smiled at her with his "see I win" smile and waved as she walked out...