turnera Posted October 10, 2012 Share Posted October 10, 2012 lol, no, it's not weird at all. You're in that crossroad where you still feel like her kid but also react like an adult. It fades with age. I remember at age 30, nine years' married, still being embarrassed for my mom to know I was having sex with my husband. Still hadn't shaken that kid part of me, you know? Right now, you're the only thing in her life that offers her a chance to be a human, and not just his wife or y'all's mom. She's been invisible since that first time he hit her, and probably before that, as her childhood allowed her to stay with such a guy. If you offer her enough opportunities to be a human, at your place (or maybe if you two start going out to eat or to a park or something), it may start giving her enough hope that she can beat this thing. All she needs from you right now is to know it's safe to be herself around you - no judgment, no questions, just a safe haven. I'm so proud of you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ska Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 How long should I wait to tell my new girl friend about this? (the girl I mentioned earlier in the thread confirmed, well basically told me, we're dating) I don't want to scare her off... what am I going to do if my mom shows up one night and she's there? As much as I love my mom and the fact she's getting away from this monster, but I don't want her to ruin things with this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Girls just want you to be honest. Just tell her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ska Posted October 13, 2012 Author Share Posted October 13, 2012 She sent me the sweetest text this morning it made me feel proud... It's actually been the happiest I've been in a very long time. I'm a sucker for a compliment. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 14, 2012 Share Posted October 14, 2012 Aren't we all? Glad for you. You deserve it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ska Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 (edited) I went to my girl friend's to spend the night, and my phone rang off the hook. She left a message Screaming and crying to come home... I left her house and sped the whole time. I got there and both of them were there... My dad walked up to me, shoved me, and kept saying "what the f*ck have you been telling my wife?" I told him nothing. I was just letting her spend the night. He said "she's not smart enough to do this alone, if you haven't noticed." Then he punched me in the head, I blacked out for a second... She called the cops. For the first time ever. He spit on her, They got there and arrested him. He's smiling in his mug shot. My head hurts still. My girl friend is mad, I won't tell her what happened. I'm pretty sure it's over, I'd rather think I'm a prick than an abuser too. I told my mom she needs to stay away for awhile. I'm lucky I'm not dead, she told me I'm the only person she loves, and loves her too, she has no reason without me... This woman's gonna take me down... Edited October 17, 2012 by Ska Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 17, 2012 Share Posted October 17, 2012 I'm not following. Why won't you tell your girlfriend about your parents? I'm sorry about your dad, but you knew this was coming, right? I told you it would. Once he realizes his wife's getting an outlet and maybe some courage, he'll rush to stomp it out. But look at your mom. She called the cops. For you. That's huge. It's a step. Do me a favor, though. Any time you go to your mom's rescue like that again, bring someone with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ska Posted October 17, 2012 Author Share Posted October 17, 2012 I'm not following. Why won't you tell your girlfriend about your parents? I'm sorry about your dad, but you knew this was coming, right? I told you it would. Once he realizes his wife's getting an outlet and maybe some courage, he'll rush to stomp it out. But look at your mom. She called the cops. For you. That's huge. It's a step. Do me a favor, though. Any time you go to your mom's rescue like that again, bring someone with you. I guess because I don't want her to think I'll be abusive, or weird, or anything else. I hate telling people about my parents, it embarrasses me to no end. I didn't expect him to be there when I showed up. I thought it would just be her being over dramatic about me not being home. I thought she would say something like that to get me back to my place to stay with her. I don't think she wants me with this girl for some reason.. I thought about calling my brother, and didn't, that's totally my fault. I just like being noble, or stupid, or maybe both. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 eh, you'll figure it out. About your girlfriend, just be honest, ok? That's all she wants. Even your fears. Link to post Share on other sites
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