Silksatin Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I'll admit I've never been married which makes me pretty naive. But some people make marriage sound like a business investment. Couldn't it be possible that sometimes two people meet for a reason. They may get divorced later, but through the experience they gained something they both needed, and the only way to gain that was through this marriage? I read of a couple or relationships like that. It seems we like to label everything black and white. Is a failed marriage really that bad? Thanks for any input! Link to post Share on other sites
myownme Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 I have been married once before and plan on remarrying very soon. I always joke about the first time being the practice round. LOL I was very young, very naive and just wanted the experience, I learned so much from it and we have remained friends (because of the kids) and neither of us are bitter. Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted July 9, 2004 Share Posted July 9, 2004 You know, I sometimes think that if I hadn't married such a jerk the first time around, I wouldn't appreciate my husband now the way I do. So sometimes, I do think that was a necessary step for me. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetBee82 Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Originally posted by Silksatin Couldn't it be possible that sometimes two people meet for a reason. They may get divorced later, but through the experience they gained something they both needed, and the only way to gain that was through this marriage? I read of a couple or relationships like that. It seems we like to label everything black and white. Is a failed marriage really that bad? Thanks for any input! When I got married when I was 18, I was very naive. My ex kept on pressuring me to get married at City Hall when he knew deep down that something I didn't want. I felt that the time that if I don't marry him, he would leave me. So I did it. But I will admit it was a good learning experience. I did learn a lot about myself through this. By the time I told him it was over, I was completely a different woman. I wasn't the naive 18 year old that just listen what her BF tells her. I was a 21 year old young woman who's finally coming to her own and knows what she wants. I knew that if I stay with him, I'm gonna let him baby me for the rest of my life and I didn't want that. I do thank him for making me a stronger person. However, I don't know about him. He's in a new relationship and already planning to move in together. He's repeating the same mistakes he did when he was with me. It's funny that I'm now 22 and grew a lot from my 3-year marriage while he's now 30 and still hasn't grown from it. So to answer your question, it can be good if learned from it. Link to post Share on other sites
thecake Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 I've been divorced for over seven years - I learned a LOT from being married. If I get married again I'll take it a lot more seriously. However, people who "have" to be married disturb me...the ones who have been married 3, 4 times....it seems like they don't take the institution of marriage seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
YellowLioness Posted July 20, 2004 Share Posted July 20, 2004 Well, it's not bad if you don't have kids. If you do have kids, your "learning experience" will end up being a "learning experience" for them as well. My parents were divorced from the time I was 4. They hated eachother, and my brother and I got caught in the middle. I'm still pretty bitter at both of them, though distance has helped me put perspective on it. So, the answer depends on the dependents. *shrugs* Link to post Share on other sites
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