Globetrotter1 Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I could have posted under many topics...' pornography addiction ', ' depressed husband', ' repulsed by sex'.... all the above have over the years eroded the feelings I once had for my husband, especially his refusal to seek help over his PA or his depression. I have been patient, understanding, sudggested counselling for both of us, but nothing happened. Now I feel grief and anger over the fact that my marriage is falling apart because he didn't even try. He is definitely very passive aggressive, saying he will do something and then dragging his feet. 25 years of waiting for things to change ...long enough ? I have been to counselling myself, and as a result have changed a lot, more able to set boundaries ( especially when it cones to his porn addiction ), but I also know I don't want to hang around waiting for another 20 years. BUT...he is already depressed and I do love him as a person. ( just not as a HB). As we still have 2 children aged 12 and 13 living at home, I am really scared of how they will be effected - not by separation, but by how HB will cope . He has no friends, isolates himself, and has only me for support. ( strange as it sounds ) I know I'm not responsible for his choices or how he chooses to deal or not deal with his issues, ( oh, I have tried) but something in me does feel responsible, maybe it's that nerver ending loyalty thing....the love for a person who I know so well but can't live with any longer. If we could just talk without him getting angry, but his anger ( verbal, directed at everything fromthe dog to his kids to me ) is just under the surface always ready to burst out. He cannot listen without feeling criticized even though I always make it clear that I don't ...I just need to say things the way I feel them) So, what do I do ? Keep quiet out of fear that he slip further into himself and his depression? Or trust in change ? Maybe it's what is needed. We live in such a toxic environment that is not good for anyone that I wonder could it really get any worse? I am not scared to be by myself , just scared of what HB may do. Thoughts ???? Link to post Share on other sites
Happyface Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 YOu are definitely on the wrong board here. It's for the OW/OM. Unless of course you are contemplating an affair? I'm not sure where you should post. Happyface Link to post Share on other sites
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