What's your longest & have you found "success"?

[spooky48]

1) What's your longest time you've been on online dating sites & did you find "success"?

 

2) How many sites were you on too & how long were you on them?

 

3) What is in personal honest opinion, the BEST site for the most success?

 

Just asking b/c I'm trying to find some answers from the experiences of the sites I've been on while gaining personal insight from an assignment from my life coach. So, I thought I'd reach out to this site here & see what all of you had to say....

 

Thank you for any responses you may provide.

[D87]

I think if you spent half the time in the gym as you do online, you'd have a lot less problems dating. I'm just being honest here...

[spooky48]

I take it your experiences have been rubbish? Well that's online dating, it's crass and dehumanising IMO.

 

Hi,

Well, here's the plain truth & I'm breaking this down in laymen's terms.

 

After 2004, when my last real full, LTR & the last time I was ever touched, loved, felt, been emotional w/a man etc or even had been cared about from a man, I decided to take the plunge to go online on dating sites. Since then, I have been on MANY sites both paid & non-paid. I have spent a lot of $ I will say mostly on Match.com, Eharmony.com, Chemistry.com, Catholic Match.com & American Singles.com. Those sites I was on more than once for more than 6 months at each time too. NOTHING happened.

 

I have also been actively involved on MANY band forums. I am an avid music fan. Post-Punk music from the UK is specifically my favorite type & all of the bands I go see are from the UK, 78-84, etc. Yet, I do go to classic rock, new wave & punk shows too. I'm involved on band forums, for the music purpose but, I was using those forums as a tool too, utilizing them to meet a man....NOTHING happened.

 

I have revamped my profiles on all of the sites, changing my looks & personality even just to satisfy. I have went to places from dates from these sites totally out of my comfort zones. I even have did the dreaded clubs, bars, sporting events, etc.

 

I won't lie...I currently still have profiles on Plenty of Fish, Zoosk, OkCupid, Eharmony. I have had messages but, no dates.

 

I know it's ME. I know it's gotta be my appearance yet, I am puzzled how women who are WAY heavier than me have a man too. So, that I've resorted to the fact that's it's just ME. I am done.

 

However, I am seeing a LC to find out what I may have done wrong in the past & what I did possibly, to push them away, turn them off, etc.

 

I hope you understand where I'm coming from now. Cheers.

[Forever Learning]

Hi Spooky! You should go to the Dating section, there are endless threads that cover the different dating sites (I am reading them currently myself, so much information there). And, don't forget to browse back a few pages for other interesting threads relevant to this topic of online dating (OLD).

 

Lastly, please bear in mind that many of the folks who give negative feedback are males in their 20's. They seem to have an especially hard time finding dates via online dating. You MUST keep that in mind. It is a HUGE phenomenon of negative feedback from that bracket of the population of posters on this site (Love Shack).

 

I think there is a long thread all about online dating, right at the top of the dating section. Have a look oer there, for lengthy threads on this topic. And remember, don't listen to the haters! Cheers!

[spooky48]

I take it your experiences have been rubbish? Well that's online dating, it's crass and dehumanising IMO.

 

Hi Fats (can I ask you why you're called that, that should be my name),

 

My experiences since 2004 have been rubbish. I've tried a lot of sites, I can give you a list if you want. Paid & non-paid. I've only went on a few dates & some of the sites too, I've been on for YEARS. I've also utilized band forums, groups, meetup.com groups as tools to meet someone but, they've failed too.

 

So, it's just plainly speaking me then. I am going to a life coach to see where & why I've failed with it all. Wish me luck...

[spooky48]

Hi Spooky! You should go to the Dating section, there are endless threads that cover the different dating sites (I am reading them currently myself, so much information there). And, don't forget to browse back a few pages for other interesting threads relevant to this topic of online dating (OLD).

 

Lastly, please bear in mind that many of the folks who give negative feedback are males in their 20's. They seem to have an especially hard time finding dates via online dating. You MUST keep that in mind. It is a HUGE phenomenon of negative feedback from that bracket of the population of posters on this site (Love Shack).

 

I think there is a long thread all about online dating, right at the top of the dating section. Have a look oer there, for lengthy threads on this topic. And remember, don't listen to the haters! Cheers!

 

Hi,

Thanks for the tip. I'm glad we're friends & how you & some other longish posters have stood by my decisions. I'm looking forward to see if I can get PM status then, I can share more experiences & make friends.

Cheers.

[NoMagicBullet]

Well, my experince isn't that far from what Fats experienced, but I'm a different demographic. I'm a woman who did online dating on and off during my 30's; I gave up on it a few years ago, because it was just too much of a soul-sucking experience. I only tried two different sites; one was a small paid service with a small membership and none close to me, the other was okcupid. I'd usually spend a year or two on a site before I'd get fed up and quit. Then a year later, I'd try it again with new profile, pics, etc. I did get dates out of it, but nothing ever got past a third date.

 

The illusion of OLD is that you have tons of options with so many people to choose from. What that turns into is catalogue shopping, where everyone ends up finding a reason to not contact someone or not respond to someone. Success with OLD is heavily skewed toward the good-looking for all genders and persuasions. (I'm average-looking; would I have done better if I looked like Catherine Zeta Jones? Hell yes!) Men complain about women not replying to messages, but many times I'd get some generic message from a guy, and when I responded, I'd rarely get a response back. If I did get a response, the guy usually showed little interest in actually meeting. It was my policy to go out with a guy at least once if he asked, but very few even got around to asking. A lot of people will be in contact with multiple potential dates at any given time, or continuously searching for the next best thing, and if you're not their top pick, good luck ever getting a real date with them. Both men and women are guilty of bad behaviour with OLD, and I think you get that bad behaviour on any online dating site.

 

Now I'm focused on getting out to different events and activities in real life to meet people. I did that for a long time before OLD, and it didn't really work that well then in finding a relationship, but it was a better use of my time and more enjoyable anyway.

[spooky48]

Well, my experince isn't that far from what Fats experienced, but I'm a different demographic. I'm a woman who did online dating on and off during my 30's; I gave up on it a few years ago, because it was just too much of a soul-sucking experience. I only tried two different sites; one was a small paid service with a small membership and none close to me, the other was okcupid. I'd usually spend a year or two on a site before I'd get fed up and quit. Then a year later, I'd try it again with new profile, pics, etc. I did get dates out of it, but nothing ever got past a third date.

 

The illusion of OLD is that you have tons of options with so many people to choose from. What that turns into is catalogue shopping, where everyone ends up finding a reason to not contact someone or not respond to someone. Success with OLD is heavily skewed toward the good-looking for all genders and persuasions. (I'm average-looking; would I have done better if I looked like Catherine Zeta Jones? Hell yes!) Men complain about women not replying to messages, but many times I'd get some generic message from a guy, and when I responded, I'd rarely get a response back. If I did get a response, the guy usually showed little interest in actually meeting. It was my policy to go out with a guy at least once if he asked, but very few even got around to asking. A lot of people will be in contact with multiple potential dates at any given time, or continuously searching for the next best thing, and if you're not their top pick, good luck ever getting a real date with them. Both men and women are guilty of bad behaviour with OLD, and I think you get that bad behaviour on any online dating site.

 

Now I'm focused on getting out to different events and activities in real life to meet people. I did that for a long time before OLD, and it didn't really work that well then in finding a relationship, but it was a better use of my time and more enjoyable anyway.

 

I totally see your point now too.

I do have to do more w/my meetup.com groups I'm a member of.

Real life over the Internet (yet, some people SWEAR by the Internet sites).

 

Cheers.