A Monday Alone

[Fmrbrknhrt22]

Hi guys,

 

I left my ex about 5 months ago. It just didn't feel right, I couldn't commit, and we were in different places. After the first few months, I felt fine and that I did the right thing. But the last 3 months have been painfully difficult and today is no different. Today I saw her car in a parking lot at a bagel shop and here is a poem I wrote expressing what I've been feeling about her.

 

A Monday Alone

 

A lockbox of memories

I had each one of them perched away neatly in another galaxy

At least I thought this was the case,

 

But then a startling event came forth,

In what was supposed to be a quick ending.

Your memories, alive and pulsating,

Began overflowing through the sides

Everyone that comes out

A symbol of the past

A reflection that burns deeper into my core a little more each time.

 

I wonder what it will take,

To close the box for good.

To stop these memories from overflowing

To harness them and lock them away someplace where I can never find them

Deep in the murky depths of the ominous and dying forests

Where your presence still haunts me.

 

I thought I would come apart today

An unmistakable sign I saw today that you are not gone

My therapist, my friends, my family

May say the only way to get over you,

Is to think of you as dead, as nothing more than a slideshow of the past.

 

But why do I let these slides of you keep replaying in my mind?

This disease is frightening,

There is no potion or remedy to put its destruction to rest.

I can engage the fibers of my being in other pursuits,

But I can't ignore the reality that is you.

 

For your spirit has left a lasting impression in each breath I take,

And it seems that with every memory I try to throw away,

Another one reappears.