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We're not dating, but I'm still upset by how he treated me


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Cafe au lait

I met a guy in October of last year through an extracurricular activity. We're both 17, still in HS. Because of a 3 hour distance, we only saw each other through this EC activity- about once a month. The last time we met was in June. Other than in-person, we communicated through Skype and phone calls. For a long time, our messages were very suggestive, and then we crossed that line and started having...intimate conversations (a first for both of us, and we weren't doing that with anyone else). If it weren't for the distance, we agreed we would be in a relationship already. But before this, we had established a close friendship where we would talk literally every day.

 

About a week ago, he started ignoring me out of the blue. After a few days, we had a dull conversation in which he seemed otherwise occupied and said nothing about ignoring me (so hypocritical because I know he hates being ignored). After this conversation, he started ignoring me again and so I removed him from my Skype contacts. Clearly, he didn't want to talk to me anymore and that was the end of it, right?

 

Well, I have a girl friend that goes to the same school as him. Yesterday, she told me she asked him out and he accepted. However, she's since changed her mind and is now hiding from him, trying to figure out how to tell him she doesn't want it anymore. A few months ago, he told me she was his closest friend at his school. The time that she asked him out coincides with when he began ignoring me.

 

I feel somewhat better knowing what triggered his behavior towards me, but I'm upset he didn't just tell me he planned to go on a date and instead decided to ignore me. Isn't that what friends tell each other? Am I right in feeling hurt?

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NoMagicBullet

Would you really want to know if he was dating others? That's the sort of thing strictly platonic friends tell each other. You two are obviously attracted to each other in a non-platonic way, or the nature of the conversations wouldn't have changed. You can't go back to the way things were before.

 

A guy suddenly ignoring you because he's dating or pursuing other women is pretty typical, no matter what the age. If he disappears, you can guarantee that he's focused on someone else.

 

It sucks. I'm sorry it worked out that way.

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