weddings make people lose their minds.

[randomized]

Seriously. I don't get it.

 

Normal, otherwise rational people lose their minds, common sense, and ability to control their mouth when a wedding is happening.

 

WTF.

[Radu]

Which one ?

 

PS: I'm keeping it polite, i don't want to be tar and feathered here.

[denise_xo]

I've just been watching, from the side lines, an inter family conflict explode in the context of a wedding being planned. Wedding is now cancelled

[TG1]

Women are the ones who tend to go crazy about the wedding while us men we just leave it to them to plan the whole thing but we are the ones who have to buy the engagement ring and propose and what not because the women want us to be the ones to make the commitment to them. Women when it comes to weddings are Bridezillas

[randomized]

everyone on both sides of the family, mostly all the women... but of course husbands get dragged into it too.

 

trying to plan something very small, laid back, but everyone has their own opinions and tries to force them down my throat. Regardless of what I do, someone has a comment about it. We're not doing bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girls, no ring bearers, because I don't think it's fair to ask people to spend money to participate in our wedding, and we don't see a need for it.

 

I live in TX, and my family lives in MA. We're doing us, an officiator (or whatever they call it), a short vow ceremony on the beach, then a small reception at my grandmother's house (which has its own private beach- it's been in our family for 100 years and was hand built when my family immigrated)

 

I'm not a bridezilla by any stretch of the imagination, just to clear that up. lol. In fact, I've gone out of my way to not ask anyone to be responsible for anything, or pay for anything.

 

My husband and I are paying for it all ourselves, so it's not like money is a driving force for anyone but us.

 

I can't say or do anything without someone being offended. At this point I'm frustrated, and would rather leave everyone out.... but I know if I do that too, people will be pissed.

 

I really don't understand what everyone's problem is.

[TG1]

everyone on both sides of the family, mostly all the women... but of course husbands get dragged into it too.

 

trying to plan something very small, laid back, but everyone has their own opinions and tries to force them down my throat. Regardless of what I do, someone has a comment about it. We're not doing bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girls, no ring bearers, because I don't think it's fair to ask people to spend money to participate in our wedding, and we don't see a need for it.

 

I live in TX, and my family lives in MA. We're doing us, an officiator (or whatever they call it), a short vow ceremony on the beach, then a small reception at my grandmother's house (which has its own private beach- it's been in our family for 100 years and was hand built when my family immigrated)

 

I'm not a bridezilla by any stretch of the imagination, just to clear that up. lol. In fact, I've gone out of my way to not ask anyone to be responsible for anything, or pay for anything.

 

My husband and I are paying for it all ourselves, so it's not like money is a driving force for anyone but us.

 

I can't say or do anything without someone being offended. At this point I'm frustrated, and would rather leave everyone out.... but I know if I do that too, people will be pissed.

 

I really don't understand what everyone's problem is.

 

You want a small wedding and yes you do have that right, but still I am sure it is because the reason why both sides of your family are getting involved is because they all want to be there to witness your wedding and they all want to bask in your happiness by being there for you guys

[Radu]

I've just been watching, from the side lines, an inter family conflict explode in the context of a wedding being planned. Wedding is now cancelled

 

Dish girl ... honor thy quote in thy signature.

[RiverRunning]

It really depends on the couple. I've seen a LOT of women go crazy when they get engaged - but truth be told they were KIND OF crazy in the first place. The types who are saving up a million pictures of wedding gowns, saving decoration ideas, etc., long before they're even engaged. The ones who are more concerned about the wedding rather than the marriage are apparent right away...they've got like $10-$20k worth of stuff going.

 

I'm getting married very soon, actually. We're not a super-high income bracket, but we're higher than what's typical in the area in which we live. Our entire wedding, dress and all, is going to run about $4k. I paid $40 for my dress on ebay (SCORE).

 

I guess I didn't make myself too endearing to the soon-to-be-in-laws when I was griping about how people spend $20, $30 or $40k for a wedding. Turns out future SIL paid $18 or $20k for hers (oops! ). It's one thing if you're very high income, but a lot of these folks are getting the money off of relatives or going into debt for it.

 

But per the stereotype my boyfriend's completely disinterested in helping plan the small details. I ask his opinion and get: "I don't know, what do you think?" -_-' Then it's always the sort of thing where I pick something, and then it's, "Why did you decide on X? I hate that." Nah, realistically that's happened a few times (mostly with song choices), but for everything else we're mostly in agreement.

 

I find that FAMILY MEMBERS cause the most wedding drama. People boo-hooing about the wedding date, who is or isn't in the wedding party, the menu options, etc. Even people griping because they want their 15-year-old kid's little boyfriend to be invited to the wedding.

 

That's why mine's as simple as possible. No wedding party. Mostly because, based on things my SIL's already pulled, I can foresee her throwing a stomping baby fit if I didn't pick her as my Maid of Honor or put her in the wedding party, period (I might put her in the wedding party, but we're not at all close and there are other obvious contenders ahead of her). So...it was just easier to avoid the drama and not have one.

 

It helps that both of our siblings are already married and starting their own families. We're the last unmarried children in our respective families, so everyone's enthusiasm for all the other kids has already burned out. They don't give much of a crap about what we're doing.

[TG1]

It really depends on the couple. I've seen a LOT of women go crazy when they get engaged - but truth be told they were KIND OF crazy in the first place. The types who are saving up a million pictures of wedding gowns, saving decoration ideas, etc., long before they're even engaged. The ones who are more concerned about the wedding rather than the marriage are apparent right away...they've got like $10-$20k worth of stuff going.

 

I'm getting married very soon, actually. We're not a super-high income bracket, but we're higher than what's typical in the area in which we live. Our entire wedding, dress and all, is going to run about $4k. I paid $40 for my dress on ebay (SCORE).

 

I guess I didn't make myself too endearing to the soon-to-be-in-laws when I was griping about how people spend $20, $30 or $40k for a wedding. Turns out future SIL paid $18 or $20k for hers (oops! ). It's one thing if you're very high income, but a lot of these folks are getting the money off of relatives or going into debt for it.

 

But per the stereotype my boyfriend's completely disinterested in helping plan the small details. I ask his opinion and get: "I don't know, what do you think?" -_-' Then it's always the sort of thing where I pick something, and then it's, "Why did you decide on X? I hate that." Nah, realistically that's happened a few times (mostly with song choices), but for everything else we're mostly in agreement.

 

I find that FAMILY MEMBERS cause the most wedding drama. People boo-hooing about the wedding date, who is or isn't in the wedding party, the menu options, etc. Even people griping because they want their 15-year-old kid's little boyfriend to be invited to the wedding.

 

That's why mine's as simple as possible. No wedding party. Mostly because, based on things my SIL's already pulled, I can foresee her throwing a stomping baby fit if I didn't pick her as my Maid of Honor or put her in the wedding party, period (I might put her in the wedding party, but we're not at all close and there are other obvious contenders ahead of her). So...it was just easier to avoid the drama and not have one.

 

It helps that both of our siblings are already married and starting their own families. We're the last unmarried children in our respective families, so everyone's enthusiasm for all the other kids has already burned out. They don't give much of a crap about what we're doing.

 

But I am a sucker for weddings even though I'm a guy but still at the same time women go overboard in terms of the wedding while us guys we do care that we are getting married but we just don't care for the whole planning process

[Radu]

My cousin got married a few yrs back, he spent i guess close to 5k dollars [adjusted from euros with everything].

Adjusted for the living standard and wages in the US, this would be about 25-30k.

 

A few yrs later, she had her fun, lived her dream of white dressing gown [who is she kidding ... i know her college reputation], and is just passed 30.

She is divorcing, and is upset because she put the entire debt in her name. HAHA

 

I hate to say this, but they come there to see the two of you get hitched, not to be entertained [circus and bread] ... so they need to cut you some slack.

 

That SIL you mention, she won't be married for long i bet.

[randomized]

It really depends on the couple. I've seen a LOT of women go crazy when they get engaged - but truth be told they were KIND OF crazy in the first place. The types who are saving up a million pictures of wedding gowns, saving decoration ideas, etc., long before they're even engaged. The ones who are more concerned about the wedding rather than the marriage are apparent right away...they've got like $10-$20k worth of stuff going.

 

I'm getting married very soon, actually. We're not a super-high income bracket, but we're higher than what's typical in the area in which we live. Our entire wedding, dress and all, is going to run about $4k. I paid $40 for my dress on ebay (SCORE).

 

I guess I didn't make myself too endearing to the soon-to-be-in-laws when I was griping about how people spend $20, $30 or $40k for a wedding. Turns out future SIL paid $18 or $20k for hers (oops! ). It's one thing if you're very high income, but a lot of these folks are getting the money off of relatives or going into debt for it.

 

But per the stereotype my boyfriend's completely disinterested in helping plan the small details. I ask his opinion and get: "I don't know, what do you think?" -_-' Then it's always the sort of thing where I pick something, and then it's, "Why did you decide on X? I hate that." Nah, realistically that's happened a few times (mostly with song choices), but for everything else we're mostly in agreement.

 

I find that FAMILY MEMBERS cause the most wedding drama. People boo-hooing about the wedding date, who is or isn't in the wedding party, the menu options, etc. Even people griping because they want their 15-year-old kid's little boyfriend to be invited to the wedding.

 

That's why mine's as simple as possible. No wedding party. Mostly because, based on things my SIL's already pulled, I can foresee her throwing a stomping baby fit if I didn't pick her as my Maid of Honor or put her in the wedding party, period (I might put her in the wedding party, but we're not at all close and there are other obvious contenders ahead of her). So...it was just easier to avoid the drama and not have one.

 

It helps that both of our siblings are already married and starting their own families. We're the last unmarried children in our respective families, so everyone's enthusiasm for all the other kids has already burned out. They don't give much of a crap about what we're doing.

 

 

Sounds like our situation. We'll be spending about $3k total. I have no desire to go crazy and blow huge sums of money on the wedding. I'd rather spend it on the honeymoon lol.

 

Family members are causing on the drama. That's why we've opted out of the wedding party too. Everyone wants someone to be in it. So instead of making people mad by picking, we've nixed the whole idea altogether.

 

I've also done by best to keep my family and his as FAR APART as possible. Conservative christian southerners, mixing with loud irish yankees... recipe for an atomic wedding bomb. lol. His parents have no interest in meeting mine anyways. They're uuber snobs, and are a nightmare to deal with anyways. Probably for the best. They've caused nothing but problems thus far anyways, and we keep them at arms reach. They visit to see our kids, only.

 

 

Kudos to you on stealing that wedding dress! $40, wow!! Halterneck Pencil Dresses from Vivien of Holloway | 1950s Dresses from Vivien of Holloway

 

that's what I picked out.. About $140 in USD. I thought that was a pretty good deal because of the style I wanted. I'm all about the whole retro pinup style. Maybe I'd better check ebay. I bought my shoes on ebay and got a nice pair of anne klein pumps for about $44 after shipping.

 

i caved and decided on silk flowers, because we're doing a reception here in TX for my husband's family, and one in MA for my family. I can't justify the cost of live flowers to begin with, nevermind having to buy them twice.

 

As far as the husband situation, he's been married once before and doesn't particularly care for weddings to begin with. He's pretty much given me the green light on all the details, and said he'll let me know if he doesn't like something. We have the same decorating taste anyways.

 

It's his responsibility to make the playlist. He's the music guy, and he likes that he has some kind of "job" that doesnt involve deciphering the subtle differences between violet and eggplant. lol.

 

Kind of like that commercial with the paint. Honey can you get me blah blah blah color swatch, and he's like... there's like 200 purple ones.

 

Oh and the food. He definitely wants a say in the food. lol. We're doing buffet style something, bbq, chinese food, something easy and relatively inexpensive. We even considered pizza. LOL.

[pink_sugar]

I think most weddings don't go off without some sort of hitch (no pun intended). Whether it's bridezillas or family drama or who is and who isn't being invited. Etc.

[Radu]

I think most weddings don't go off without some sort of hitch (no pun intended). Whether it's bridezillas or family drama or who is and who isn't being invited. Etc.

 

A thought occured.

If it's inevitable someone will get pissed by your nuptials, why not piss everyone off with it, way to keep it balanced.

So why not elope and get married with a couple of cats as witnesses ?

 

PS: Watch Black Cat, White Cat ... they get married at the end with a couple of cats as witnesses.

[randomized]

A thought occured.

If it's inevitable someone will get pissed by your nuptials, why not piss everyone off with it, way to keep it balanced.

So why not elope and get married with a couple of cats as witnesses ?

 

PS: Watch Black Cat, White Cat ... they get married at the end with a couple of cats as witnesses.

 

 

HAHAHAH omg. We thought about eloping, but idk. I wanted something nice. I kind of had a vision about what I wanted my wedding to look like. Seriously becoming tempting though. lol.

 

Going to watch that video now. Boss left for the store and I need a pick me up. lol.

[Radu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTTffdD7hRo

 

1:56:00

 

The entire movie is awesome.

[randomized]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTTffdD7hRo

 

1:56:00

 

The entire movie is awesome.

 

 

very cool! thank you! gonna see if my hubby wants to watch it with me. lol. im sure he'll find the cat witnesses especially hilarious (he is constantly at war with ours lol)

[Samara11]

I'm going to be a bride in 11 months, and I honestly feel like it's others who are getting crazy, rather than myself. I am really not much of a wedding person.. I find weddings to be superficial and really more of a "show" for your friends and relatives.. Just think, you are spending thousands of dollars to make sure that Aunt Mildred has flank steak and that there's enough $3,000 cake for everyone..I think people, especially brides, often forget the fact that the wedding is about 2 people, and once the glitz and glamor is over, that person will be the one you wake up next to.

 

My parents have gotten crazy over wedding planning, and I've had some conflicts with my friends regarding bridesmaids, etc. I find all of it to be really obnoxious. I think our culture has made weddings very materialistic and the true focus on the relationship at hand has been lost. Just my 2 cents.

[randomized]

I'm going to be a bride in 11 months, and I honestly feel like it's others who are getting crazy, rather than myself. I am really not much of a wedding person.. I find weddings to be superficial and really more of a "show" for your friends and relatives.. Just think, you are spending thousands of dollars to make sure that Aunt Mildred has flank steak and that there's enough $3,000 cake for everyone..I think people, especially brides, often forget the fact that the wedding is about 2 people, and once the glitz and glamor is over, that person will be the one you wake up next to.

 

My parents have gotten crazy over wedding planning, and I've had some conflicts with my friends regarding bridesmaids, etc. I find all of it to be really obnoxious. I think our culture has made weddings very materialistic and the true focus on the relationship at hand has been lost. Just my 2 cents.

 

 

Totally agree. I've been flabbergasted with this very thing. lol.

 

Although I *am* picky about what cake we're getting. lol. not anything remotely approaching 3k... considering thats about how much we'll spend on the whole damn thing. lol.

 

I just love a good cake, no matter what the occasion.

[pink_sugar]

I'm going to be a bride in 11 months, and I honestly feel like it's others who are getting crazy, rather than myself. I am really not much of a wedding person.. I find weddings to be superficial and really more of a "show" for your friends and relatives.. Just think, you are spending thousands of dollars to make sure that Aunt Mildred has flank steak and that there's enough $3,000 cake for everyone..I think people, especially brides, often forget the fact that the wedding is about 2 people, and once the glitz and glamor is over, that person will be the one you wake up next to.

 

We were initially planning to elope, due to disagreements regarding my age and drama. I wanted a real wedding after going for the first time to one. There was a lot of drama involved with my dad and brother leaving early, my husband's friend dropping out of the wedding party and his mom controlling the wedding in general. I wanted a do-over for a vow renewal, but I've come to the point where I feel like I would rather have spent those few thousand dollars on a honeymoon (we never got one), because it was all over within 3 hours. I think we'll just have a private vow renewal ceremony and maybe a dinner to invite friends and family to later.

[Radu]

very cool! thank you! gonna see if my hubby wants to watch it with me. lol. im sure he'll find the cat witnesses especially hilarious (he is constantly at war with ours lol)

 

 

If you are interested, i saw 2 more nice ones recently.

 

Kiler [just 1 L], made in 1997 in Poland - romantic comedy

Seksmija [i don't know the yr]

[Eclypse]

Radu you're not from the Balkans area by any chance are you? Crna Macka, Beli Macor was an alright film, although I can't say I'm a fan of Kusturica in general.

[Radu]

Yeah, but that's not why i like that movie.

 

PS: Balkans are underrepresented on this forum.