How things have changed

[Joe]

I just wanted to get some opinions on how things have changed nowadays. It seems to me the hot topic these days is people cheating in a relationship. I see in my town, on tv, in newspapers, etc., why is this? I'm not ignorant, people have cheated in relationships throughout time but it's so abundant these days and it's not only men it's women too. I know there are good people out there but I see a trend of cheating. It has happened to myself, my friends, my family. Yes these situations were all somewhat different but similiar because it involved a long relationship and a cheating woman. My situation was me and this girl started dating then she wanted a commitment. Anyway we were together for three years and then one day she told she had been cheating then dumped me. But here's the kicker, I was too good for her, huh?? This is the trend I've been seeing women cheating on their mates, who are nothing but good to them, for some dirtbag. What's that all about and this is not just my situation I've seen this happen to my friends and family. Are the women too young for a serious relationship? Do they feel like they need to experience more? My ex fits this category but now she never wants to cheat and is faithful to her new dirt bag man. Why? The good guys get burnt and the bad guys get what they want. Why do they want to throw away a person who wants to spend their life with them, have a family, a house, a career, etc. for someone who has no job, is a dopehead, has no hopes or dreams. Why? I guess what I'm trying to do is figure out the thinking or logic of a cheater. Good Luck, huh.

 

Joe

[Tony T]

The desire for something new and rapid change is certainly not confined to relationships. The seeming increase in the desire to cheat and frequency of cheating, in my opinion, is tied to a media which has brainwashed people into wanting constant newness, constant change, continuous freshness, etc.

 

People are no longer happy wearing the same clothes for a few years. They have to change constantly to keep up with new trends and styles. Folks are not OK with going into a restaurant and waiting 30 or 40 minutes for the food to be well prepared, as was the case in years past. If it's not out in ten to 12 minutes, there is protest.

 

Automobiles constantly change styles to be more appealing to a demanding public. If you really want to see constant change, go to the grocery store and see what cereal makers, soap manufacturers, cookie bakers and others have to do on a monthly basis to continue interest in their ALL NEW products.

 

I think this mindset of having to have continuous "new and improved" in the marketplace has spilled over into people's personal lives. Cheating is a byproduct of a people who have been hypnotized by masters of marketing to demand continuous new stimulation from newer, faster, and more instantly available products.

 

We no longer want to date someone and let love grow. So many expect and demand instant passion, instant sex or they hit the road.

 

There is little we can do about this, particularly in America. The American economy is driven by the constant demand for new, faster and better products. Four years ago, I started my computer experience with a 160 mhz processor, 16 megs of ram, and 1 gig of hard drive space. My new computer, which I paid far less for than my first, has a much much faster 950 mhz Pentium III processor, 512 megs of ram and 110 gigs of hard drive space. It is fast, REAL FAST!!! And Pentium races with AMD for faster processors every month. Pentium processors are expected to near 2 gigs in just over a year, and to run a lot cooler than today's.

 

People are simply driven to want more, better (or what they think is better), faster, etc. So, in romance, we treat the people we love like the machines we buy. If we get a little bored, instead of working on the relationship, we go out and look for something new and we want it fast and we don't care what we have to do to get it.

 

It is sad. Most people don't even realize this is happening to them.

 

If someone asks me to respond to an Email or a post here in the forum and I don't get to it within a short time, they post again and again instead of being patient. It's astounding.

 

Perhaps my theory isn't right but I've given it a lot of thought. I doubt there's any way to prove or disprove my theory but I think I'm right on target.

 

I think it is very sad that things must move faster and faster when what our soul craves is something that, by its very nature, does not come that way. Things will never satisfy us...only give us the illusion that they do. True love makes us complete. But can we have true love when we have been programed to want more and better so quickly.

 

That is why people cheat.

 

The great thing is that history tends to go full circle...and one day, slow and enduring will once again be stylish.

[Tony T]

Below is a web address to an article that deals with an aspect of cheating. Very interesting and readable. Simply copy the URL and paste it into your browser. Hope you find it helpful.

 

http://www.msnbc.com/news/478590.asp

[Deejette]

Instead of working out problems, people find cheating a fast and easy solution. Just switch people until problems occur and then switch again. Meanwhile, keep someone in reserve, in case the new one doesn't work out.

 

Just before posting this message I got a call from a guy who is living with someone, but who is pursuing me. He tells me he is not having sex any more with the woman he lives with. He wants to have it with me. But he does not want to leave her. He just wants to cheat on her and go behind her back.

 

I told him to leave her first and then I MIGHT consider going out with him. But I will not see him while he is sneaking around. He is just one "taken" man in a day of cheaters that attempt to hit on me. The new story I have been hearing a lot is "we (wife, grilfriend) don't have sex any more." It's like a whole nation of people who are not getting it on with their partners and are out there looking for some "strange."

 

I think it is truly alarming.

I just wanted to get some opinions on how things have changed nowadays. It seems to me the hot topic these days is people cheating in a relationship. I see in my town, on tv, in newspapers, etc., why is this? I'm not ignorant, people have cheated in relationships throughout time but it's so abundant these days and it's not only men it's women too. I know there are good people out there but I see a trend of cheating. It has happened to myself, my friends, my family. Yes these situations were all somewhat different but similiar because it involved a long relationship and a cheating woman. My situation was me and this girl started dating then she wanted a commitment. Anyway we were together for three years and then one day she told she had been cheating then dumped me. But here's the kicker, I was too good for her, huh?? This is the trend I've been seeing women cheating on their mates, who are nothing but good to them, for some dirtbag. What's that all about and this is not just my situation I've seen this happen to my friends and family. Are the women too young for a serious relationship? Do they feel like they need to experience more? My ex fits this category but now she never wants to cheat and is faithful to her new dirt bag man. Why? The good guys get burnt and the bad guys get what they want. Why do they want to throw away a person who wants to spend their life with them, have a family, a house, a career, etc. for someone who has no job, is a dopehead, has no hopes or dreams. Why? I guess what I'm trying to do is figure out the thinking or logic of a cheater. Good Luck, huh.

 

Joe