between a rock and a hard place

[nymeria]

Okay, so, I don't usually go to forums and stuff, but my current situation is pretty messed up. Thank you in advance for reading, and advising hopefully

 

I'm in a two-and-something year long relationship. When my boyfriend and I met, we kinda hit it off at once and started dating a month after that. I was just out of something you could call a relationship, though it was never official, and I suffered a lot during the 8 months it lasted. I only found the strength to break it up when I met my current boyfriend. Now, our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs, maybe more than it should have had - we even broke up a couple of times (the last time being like half a year ago or stg like that), but never for more than a couple of days. I've had a conversation with him about our relationship a couple of days ago, and he sees nothing has changed, while I'm feeling we're growing apart for some time now. Anyway, to sum up, since then he has been the best boyfriend in the world, which makes my situation the harder.

 

My problem is, about a year, year-and-a-half ago I met this other guy. Since then we have become best friends, we are very much alike, I love talking to him and I feel completely myself when I am with him. Obviously, I have come to develop feelings for him almost the moment I met him and it has been going on since. I have tried to convince myself that I should see him as a friend (because we really do have a beautiful friendship). And I can say I've done a pretty good job ignoring the emotions I shouldn't have and at least acting like we're nothing more because I was 100% convinced he would never think of me as anything other than a friend (since I was his shoulder to cry on about other girls, and I've helped him with relationship stuff). But, about ten days ago everything changed He basically told me he's in love with me (not up front of course since I am in a relationship with one of his friends, but the message was obvious enough). Granted, he was a bit drunk, but this is not the first time I've seen him like that. He and a couple of other friends have slept over that night, but nothing happened. Since that night, he has been avoiding me and I haven't seen him since.

 

I don't know what to do. I am in love with him, these days past I have finally admitted this to myself. But, I love my boyfriend too, although I am not sure if that's the way I should love him anymore. He's become such an important part of my life and I don't want to lose him. Basically, I'm in love with my friend and I don't want to hurt my boyfriend. The thought of breaking his heart breaks mine...But, it's not fair to him that I stay if I'm thinking about someone else, right? I'm so confused.