Is There An Age To 'Throw In the Towel' for Women?

[verhrzn]

I was reading an article today about how, according to a national survey, women feel the most sexy at 28, and most confident at 32, and then confidence/sense of attraction for self begins to slide after that.

 

I hear very often-on forums, from comments said in the media and by guys around me (coworkers, friends, strangers)-that women are at "their best" in their early 20's, and by 30 have reached their peak and are no longer viable in the dating world.

 

I'm curious if this article changes any perspectives. I'm also curious to hear from other female posters... what age do you think you "peaked" at, in terms of feeling sexy and confident?

 

Do you also think there's an age where, if a woman has never been married, there's a good chance she won't be? Is there an age for women where dating becomes pointless? (For example, any woman over 30 might as well not bother according to the guys on this forum.)

 

Here's the article if you're curious: Women feel most attractive at 28 - Telegraph

[Woggle]

There is no age. Women find love at all ages.

[verhrzn]

There is no age. Women find love at all ages.

 

Then why is there a constant message that women over 30 are "used up"? Why are women told that they better settle for any guy who asks them out, or they'll never find anyone "in time"?

 

And I am also wanting to focus this issue on never-married women. It'd be a little naive to suggest that if a woman has never been married past a "certain age," she acquires a not-nice social label. So I am curious what age that is.

[denise_xo]

I was reading an article today about how, according to a national survey, women feel the most sexy at 28, and most confident at 32, and then confidence/sense of attraction for self begins to slide after that.

 

I hear very often-on forums, from comments said in the media and by guys around me (coworkers, friends, strangers)-that women are at "their best" in their early 20's, and by 30 have reached their peak and are no longer viable in the dating world.

 

I'm curious if this article changes any perspectives. I'm also curious to hear from other female posters... what age do you think you "peaked" at, in terms of feeling sexy and confident?

 

Do you also think there's an age where, if a woman has never been married, there's a good chance she won't be? Is there an age for women where dating becomes pointless? (For example, any woman over 30 might as well not bother according to the guys on this forum.)

 

Here's the article if you're curious: Women feel most attractive at 28 - Telegraph

 

My personal experience is the opposite - I feel much more attractive and confident now than I was in my twenties, and I feel better every year as I grow older (although I use less 'enhancers' such as make up etc now than I did before). In my early twenties I was much more insecure about myself, both physically and emotionally.

 

Several years after my grandfather died, my grandmother got a new boyfriend when she was in her early or mid seventies. They remained together until he died at 92, at which point she was in her early eighties. You're never too old to date More generally, I know lots of people in their thirties and forties who are dating and entering into new relationships.

[Titanwolf]

Never throw in the towel. As long as you are alive, you are a woman and as much as I detest admitting this, women are beautiful at all ages.

[Woggle]

Then why is there a constant message that women over 30 are "used up"? Why are women told that they better settle for any guy who asks them out, or they'll never find anyone "in time"?

 

And I am also wanting to focus this issue on never-married women. It'd be a little naive to suggest that if a woman has never been married past a "certain age," she acquires a not-nice social label. So I am curious what age that is.

 

Not all men are making that statements. I see women getting married in their 40s and even 50s so clearly many men don't feel this way.

[zengirl]

Generally somewhere around 93 years, 6 months, 3 days, 2 hours.

 

No, seriously, I don't see the use in 'throwing in the towel.' I suppose as success dwindles or age increases, one might put energy and attention elsewhere, but that doesn't necessarily require truly giving up. Just re-focusing.

 

I think one should never focus TOO HARD on getting a R. It generally hurts one's chances. Prioritizing it is important, needing it is terrible. It's a balancing act.

[paperboy48]

I'm in search for women in the age bracket of 33-43 or so. I would much rather date a woman in her thirties than in her twenties.

 

 

Where are you located?

[Drseussgrrl]

I'm 33 and feeling better than ever.

 

My mom is in her 50's and just got a new boyfriend.

 

My grandmother is 80 and after being widowed, met a nice man at church and now they're dating, and have been for a few years.

 

You can be sexy at any age. Look at celebs. Some of the sexiest ones are way past their 20's.

[verhrzn]

Never throw in the towel. As long as you are alive, you are a woman and as much as I detest admitting this, women are beautiful at all ages.

 

If they started off beautiful, sure.

 

Eh, maybe this was the wrong crowd to ask, since the board is filled with married women, and guys who are convinced women have it easier in dating no matter how many times they're proven wrong.

 

PS: I want to reiterate that I am speaking about ONLY women who have never been married. It seems like if you can get down the aisle once, you have a much better chance of going down it again. But how many of us know a woman who married for the first time in her 40's, 50's, etc?

[denise_xo]

And I am also wanting to focus this issue on never-married women. It'd be a little naive to suggest that if a woman has never been married past a "certain age," she acquires a not-nice social label. So I am curious what age that is.

 

In a lot of countries I've been to in Asia/Middle East, that age is around late twenties/early thirties in many social circles.

 

Where I live now, in larger towns and cities there isn't really a limit like that anymore. People are suspicious if you have never had a relationship before, but whether you have been married or not isn't really an issue. A lot of people cohabitate without getting married, a lot of people get married very late in life, and so on. Marriage is increasingly just considered one life goal out of many others.

[Pyro]

Then why is there a constant message that women over 30 are "used up"? Why are women told that they better settle for any guy who asks them out, or they'll never find anyone "in time"?

 

because the idiots that say that are mad because their BS games generally don't work on women over 30.

 

Generally speaking more of the naive girls are under 30 which is why they prefer the under 30 ones.

 

Just remember not all guys feel that way.

[january2011]

Thinking back to when I was 28....yeah, definitely did not feel sexy. Was in a very stressful job with a long commute that meant that I had a zero social life. I'd just moved in with my ex a few months earlier and we hadn't even had the chance to enjoy our first home. Spent most of my weekends asleep.

 

In general, I was still trying to find my way in the world in my 20s and the insecurity meant that I was far from feeling sexy. I was also in a long-term relationship where we'd gotten so comfortable with each other, we were more like room-mates.

 

If I take my life as a whole, I felt my most sexiest in the last couple of years, living on my own. Making my own life choices. Spending time with lots of different people. Working on improving myself.

 

I was talking to my SO (LDR) the other night about how there are more movies about single middle-aged women finding love - Meryl Streep, Diane Lane and Diane Keaton have done a few. I don't think this is a coincidence but a reflection of how much society has changed. Age is not a barrier to finding love.

 

For those in their 20s, I advise you to wait until you actually hit your 30s before you worry ahead of time about how bad you think it might be. And whatever age you are now, make the most of it because you will never be this young again.

 

So, "never give up, never surrender."

[Teal]

Then why is there a constant message that women over 30 are "used up"? Why are women told that they better settle for any guy who asks them out, or they'll never find anyone "in time"?

 

And I am also wanting to focus this issue on never-married women. It'd be a little naive to suggest that if a woman has never been married past a "certain age," she acquires a not-nice social label. So I am curious what age that is.

 

The guys who think like that aren't of much value themselves, so good riddance if we wind up off their radar. As people start to grow out of their youth the sex appeal might lessen as the potential for baggage increases, which means that we all sparkle a bit less, but people prioritizing a happy relationship over arm candy or a resource will still be just that.

 

As for things like the biological clock (implied by "in time"), the body is a collection of instincts, urges, chemicals, and so forth with no capacity for rationale, so I don't take what it says as gospel no matter how much some people are guided by it. We should do what's good for us and our principles first, and not worry about grabbing a mate and making babies "in time."

[Lonely Ronin]

because the idiots that say that are mad because their BS games generally don't work on women over 30.

 

Generally speaking more of the naive girls are under 30 which is why they prefer the under 30 ones.

 

Just remember not all guys feel that way.

what he said.

[xxoo]

PS: I want to reiterate that I am speaking about ONLY women who have never been married. It seems like if you can get down the aisle once, you have a much better chance of going down it again. But how many of us know a woman who married for the first time in her 40's, 50's, etc?

 

A friend married for the first time this summer--in her mid-40s!

 

I do think those weddings are rare, but more because many women who haven't married at that point simply don't want to marry.

[Janesays]

I honestly think I looked my hottest in my late teens.

 

However, I get far more attention from men now (33) than I did when I was younger.

[verhrzn]

Ehh, maybe this topic is a dead-end. I was looking for more a discussion about at what age I should stop caring about dating. I am very unsuccessful at dating, and quite sick of doing it, but people keep telling me not to give up because I'm "so young!" (27 years old.)

 

I was rather hoping to hear that if I haven't found a guy by 30, I'm not going to, so I can just stop trying already. But my experiences also seem to be abnormal, so maybe that's still true regardless.

 

Well, hurray for all the sexy and confident and getting-married 40 year olds.

[xxoo]

Sorry to break it to you, V, but there's hope for you yet

[aj22one]

Ehh, maybe this topic is a dead-end. I was looking for more a discussion about at what age I should stop caring about dating. I am very unsuccessful at dating, and quite sick of doing it, but people keep telling me not to give up because I'm "so young!" (27 years old.)

 

I was rather hoping to hear that if I haven't found a guy by 30, I'm not going to, so I can just stop trying already. But my experiences also seem to be abnormal, so maybe that's still true regardless.

 

Well, hurray for all the sexy and confident and getting-married 40 year olds.

 

You should never have started to care about dating haha

 

Go in nonchalantly and then if you find somebody you care about that's when you care. About the person though, not about dating.

[Shaun-Dro]

I was reading an article today about how, according to a national survey, women feel the most sexy at 28, and most confident at 32, and then confidence/sense of attraction for self begins to slide after that.

 

I hear very often-on forums, from comments said in the media and by guys around me (coworkers, friends, strangers)-that women are at "their best" in their early 20's, and by 30 have reached their peak and are no longer viable in the dating world.

 

I'm curious if this article changes any perspectives. I'm also curious to hear from other female posters... what age do you think you "peaked" at, in terms of feeling sexy and confident?

 

Do you also think there's an age where, if a woman has never been married, there's a good chance she won't be? Is there an age for women where dating becomes pointless? (For example, any woman over 30 might as well not bother according to the guys on this forum.)

 

Here's the article if you're curious: Women feel most attractive at 28 - Telegraph

 

Women are most desirable in their early to mid 20s. By the time they hit 30, they the powers begin to shift into the men's favor, meaning women need to step it up and start approaching now because she's no longer hot on the market.

 

As far marriage is concerned, women can marry at any age, it really don't matter. The same thing applies to men, so don't worry about that part. I'd be more concerned on finding the proper mate to get this part going.

[Janesays]

Ehh, maybe this topic is a dead-end. I was looking for more a discussion about at what age I should stop caring about dating. I am very unsuccessful at dating, and quite sick of doing it, but people keep telling me not to give up because I'm "so young!" (27 years old.)

 

 

For you, I'd suggest throwing in the towel now. You obviously don't like it and dating should be fun, not a chore. Also, your 'poor me, pity me' attitude might be what is putting men off to you and if you just give up focusing on dating and imagined rejections, you can repair your poor self imagine.

[Drseussgrrl]

Get a boob job.

 

Seriously. It was a game-changer.

[Woggle]

Women are most desirable in their early to mid 20s. By the time they hit 30, they the powers begin to shift into the men's favor, meaning women need to step it up and start approaching now because she's no longer hot on the market.

 

As far marriage is concerned, women can marry at any age, it really don't matter. The same thing applies to men, so don't worry about that part. I'd be more concerned on finding the proper mate to get this part going.

 

Don't listen to him.

 

The only thing holding you back is negative thinking. I have been making a serious attempt to stop the negativity as of late and it feels great so maybe you might want to give it a try. I am saying this from somebody who has been in that deep dark space myself.

[verhrzn]

Sorry to break it to you, V, but there's hope for you yet

 

*Rolls eyes* Yeah, that's why I'm back on LS, because my dating life is just a big bundle of success and happiness.

 

You should never have started to care about dating haha

 

Go in nonchalantly and then if you find somebody you care about that's when you care. About the person though, not about dating.

 

So I should not care about dating... which means I'll essentially lock myself in my apartment and never leave except to run errands and go to work. And that will somehow ensure me meeting someone.

 

... Because when I stop caring about dating, that is exactly what I will do, because I will no longer care about trying. Thus, why I'm looking for the appropriate age to "give up" so I have a time-table to "try."